Oscar Wilde: The Complete Works. Knowledge house
some shameful passion.
lord windermere
I am not one of them.
lady windermere
I am not sure of that!
lord windermere
You are sure in your heart. But don’t make chasm after chasm between us. God knows the last few minutes have thrust us wide enough apart. Sit down and write the card.
lady windermere
Nothing in the whole world would induce me.
lord windermere
[Crossing to bureau.] Then I will! [Rings electric bell, sits and writes card.]
lady windermere
You are going to invite this woman? [Crossing to him.]
lord windermere
Yes.
[Pause. Enter Parker.
Parker!
·32· parker
Yes, my lord. [Comes down L.C.]
lord windermere
Have this note sent to Mrs. Erlynne at No. 84a Curzon Street. [Crossing to L.C. and giving note to Parker.] There is no answer!
[Exit Parker C.
lady windermere
Arthur, if that woman comes here, I shall insult her.
lord windermere
Margaret, don’t say that.
lady windermere
I mean it.
lord windermere
Child, if you did such a thing, there’s not a woman in London who wouldn’t pity you.
lady windermere
There is not a good woman in London who would not applaud me. We have been too lax. We must make an example. I propose to begin to-night. [Picking up fan.] Yes, you gave me this fan to-day; it was your birthday present. If that woman crosses my threshold, I shall strike her across the face with it.
·33· lord windermere
Margaret, you couldn’t do such a thing.
lady windermere
You don’t know me! [Moves R.]
[Enter Parker.
Parker!
parker
Yes, my lady.
lady windermere
I shall dine in my own room. I don’t want dinner, in fact. See that everything is ready by half-past ten. And, Parker, be sure you pronounce the names of the guests very distinctly to-night. Sometimes you speak so fast that I miss them. I am particularly anxious to hear the names quite clearly, so as to make no mistake. You understand, Parker?
parker
Yes, my lady.
lady windermere
That will do!
[Exit Parker C.
[Speaking to Lord Windermere.] Arthur, if that woman comes here—I warn you——
·34· lord windermere
Margaret, you’ll ruin us!
lady windermere
Us! From this moment my life is separate from yours. But if you wish to avoid a public scandal, write at once to this woman, and tell her that I forbid her to come here!
lord windermere
I will not—I cannot—she must come!
lady windermere
Then I shall do exactly as I have said. [Goes R.] You leave me no choice. [Exit R.
lord windermere
[Calling after her.] Margaret! Margaret! [A pause.] My God! What shall I do? I dare not tell her who this woman really is. The shame would kill her. [Sinks down into a chair and buries his face in his hands.]
Act Drop
·35· Second Act.
·37· SCENE—Drawing-room in Lord Windermere’s house. Door R.U. opening into ball-room, where band is playing. Door L. through which guests are entering. Door L.U. opens on to illuminated terrace. Palms, flowers, and brilliant lights. Room crowded with guests. Lady Windermere is receiving them.
duchess of berwick
[Up C.] So strange Lord Windermere isn’t here. Mr. Hopper is very late, too. You have kept those five dances for him, Agatha? [Comes down.]
lady agatha
Yes, mamma.
duchess of berwick
[Sitting on sofa.] Just let me see your card. I’m so glad Lady Windermere has revived cards.—They’re a mother’s only safeguard. You dear simple little thing! [Scratches out two names.] No nice girl should ever waltz with such particularly younger sons! It looks so fast! The last ·38· two dances you might pass on the terrace with Mr. Hopper.
[Enter Mr. Dumby and Lady Plymdale from the ball-room.
lady agatha
Yes, mamma.
duchess of berwick
[Fanning herself.] The air is so pleasant there.
parker
Mrs. Cowper-Cowper. Lady Stutfield. Sir James Royston. Mr. Guy Berkeley.
[These people enter as announced.
dumby
Good evening, Lady Stutfield. I suppose this will be the last ball of the season?
lady stutfield
I suppose so, Mr. Dumby. It’s been a delightful season, hasn’t it?
dumby
Quite delightful! Good evening, Duchess. I suppose this will be the last ball of the season?
duchess of berwick
I suppose so, Mr. Dumby. It has been a very dull season, hasn’t it?
·39· dumby
Dreadfully dull! Dreadfully dull!
mrs. cowper-cowper
Good evening, Mr. Dumby. I suppose this will be the last ball of the season?
dumby
Oh, I think not. There’ll probably be two more. [Wanders back to Lady Plymdale.]
parker
Mr. Rufford. Lady Jedburgh and Miss Graham. Mr. Hopper.
[These people enter as announced.
hopper
How do you do, Lady Windermere? How do you do, Duchess? [Bows to Lady Agatha.]
duchess of berwick
Dear Mr. Hopper, how nice of you to come so early. We all know how you are run after in London.
hopper
Capital place, London! They are not nearly so exclusive in London as they are in Sydney.
duchess of berwick
Ah!