A Smart Girl's Guide: Manners (Revised). Nancy Holyoke
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Identify the people you’re introducing, and use the names they’ll use for
each other.
Ms. Evans, I’d like
to introduce my cousin,
Roy Rogers.
Roy,
Ms. Evans is
my neighbor.
An introduction is a good opportunity to
let someone know that members of your
family use different last names.
Mom, Dad, I’d like to
introduce my friend
Sarah Vaughn.
Sarah, this is my
mother, Ms. Rogers,
and my father,
Mr. Hart.
It’s also a good way to identify stepparents.
Ms. Gilbert, I’d like to
introduce my stepfather,
Mr. Sullivan.
Art, Ms. Gilbert
is my English
teacher.
What if you forget someone’s name completely? All is not lost.
Introduce the person you do know, and chances are, the other one
will finish the job for you by saying her name herself.
This is Lynn.
Hi, Lynn,
I’m Loretta.
mr., ms., and more
Pop quiz: Your friend’s mom is working away in the kitchen when you
enter their house. You’re a girl with good manners, so the next thing
you do is
a. greet her.
b. walk on by as if she were a floor lamp.
Yes, friends, the answer is a.
For reasons scientists have yet to discover, some kids think certain
adults are invisible. Not so! Parents enjoy a friendly hello and a big
smile as much as you do. So make it a point to greet the adults who
cross your path. Use those tried-and-true words “please” and
“thank you.” Ask these people a question or two about their day,
and take a moment or two to answer the questions they ask you.
You may be surprised how much you enjoy it.
What do you use?
These days, many kids address adults by their first names. That’s fine if
the adult has invited you to do it. Until then, you should stick with Mr.,
Ms., Mrs., or Miss, depending on what the person prefers.
Mr. = a man
Mrs. = a married woman
Ms. = a woman, married or unmarried
Mr. & Ms. = a couple with different last names
Mr. & Mrs. or Mr. & Ms. = a couple with the same
last name
Miss = a girl or unmarried woman
“Miss” isn’t used as much as it used to be. Many people feel it’s
inappropriate to identify women by whether or not they’re married.
In some parts of the country, particularly the South, many people
use “sir” and “ma’am” to show respect.
There are lots of special rules that apply to university professors,
politicians, diplomats, royalty, religious leaders, and members of the
military. So if you have some VIPs (very important people) in your
future, talk to an adult about how to address them.
conversation
Break the ice
You may be shy. You may have nothing to say. But if you stand silently
beside another person, how is she to know you’re not just unfriendly?
Ask some questions: “When did you move in?” “Who’s your teacher?”
The more she talks, the more relaxed you’ll both feel.
Take turns
A conversation is like a tennis match. You say something. The other
person takes your thought and bops back one of her own. That’s how
it goes: back and forth, back and forth. If one or the other holds on
to the ball and starts talking nonstop, the game’s over.
Listen
We all like a good listener because she makes us feel that our thoughts
and feelings matter. If you want to become a better listener:
• Encourage the other person to talk by asking questions.
• Let her know you’ve heard what she’s said by commenting on it.
• Don’t always switch the subject back to yourself.
Don’t interrupt
Wait till the other person stops talking before you start. If you want
to drive somebody crazy, interrupting is a good way to do it.
Zzz
If someone’s boring you:
do
• Try to change the subject.
• Make a nice excuse. (“I’d better go to class.” “I think I’ll get some juice.”
“Guess I’d better leave now. See you soon!”) Then make your escape.
don’t
• Let your eyes wander around the room, looking for other people
you’d rather be with.
• Say, “Can we change the subject? This is boring.”
• Walk off without saying anything.
If you want to avoid boring other people:
• Ask them questions.
• Talk about something other than yourself.
• Don’t talk all the time.
• Don’t tell really long stories, give really long speeches, or describe
every little detail of a dream, TV show, or movie.
Quiz