Caressless. Heru Psy.D. EL

Caressless - Heru Psy.D. EL


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Sylvester came in the same way he came in the first time, long leather over coat with black leather cap to match always with both hands in his pocket , like he was ready to stick somebody up as his eyes peered over the gold framed tinted glasses. From the moment he walks in his eyes are fixed onto mine as if he was trying to intimidate me. I knew the old submission technique so I met his eyes in a momentary stare down, he suddenly glanced down. Sylvester was big piece of work 29 years old about 6'-6"and 275lbs, brown skin with a pie face, Asian shaped eyes and neatly trimmed mustache and goatee with heavy arched eyebrows. Sylvester grew up on the west side of Chicago, was the only brother to 3 slightly older sisters. He had this Hero mentality when it came to his sisters. Two of his sister’s husbands took trips to the emergency room. The youngest sister’s husband was in a coma for 5 days. All in 6 months time. He did 3 months in Cook County but the Judge gave him probation if he got some anger management therapy. “Good Friday Doc” he says in his deep and thundering voice.” Doc I don't want to spend the rest of my life in jail for killin one my sister’s punk-ass so called men" so you need to do your job and fix me.” “Well you know Sylvester I can do my part if you'll do your part and together we can make some progress in achieving our goal. First lets start by dismantling this thought in you head that you are broke. Why do you say you need fixing? “Well why everybody is saying I'm crazy and out of control if I'm not broke?” “Well lets look at it this way how many times have we all have seen someone abusing someone physically in public and nobody does anything. Sylvester you are that person who will stand up and stop this person from being harmed, from where I stand it appears that the people who were standing around and being spectators were broke wouldn’t you say?” He leaned back in the recliner and grabbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger and said “hummmmm” “I never looked at that way Doc.” “What we need to do is find different approaches on your heroics that won't land someone in the morgue and you in jail and besides, if you’re in jail who’s going to protect your sisters?” He grabs his chin again. I grab mines also and go “hummmm.” “I likes that Doc you might be on to something.”

      “Now Mr. Fullalove can you think back to the first time you saved someone or something.” “Well when you say someone or something that could mean an animal or human being right?” “Yes anything that you consider a value to you.” “Well I remember one day on my way to school I think I was in the 5th grade I was walking down my steps kicking the brown fallen leaves that were all over the steps and sidewalk when Mr. Hickman’s German Sheppard dog named Ming had got out his yard, this girl that lived in the next block was running from Ming she dropped her books and jumped on Mr. Johnson’s white Duce and a quarter” “you mean a Buick Electra 225” “yeah you know that’s what they called em then. Anyway she was hollin and screaming” “get away from me!! Over and over again Ming was barking loudly. So I was looking around for a stick or brick you know. In the gangway I saw an old table leg so I grabbed it and ran toward the dog and the girl and I started yellin in my fake bear voice and swung at the dog and hit Ming right on the back leg as hard as I could he spint around squealingIn a high pitched dog voice “Aaarrrrggff” Aaaarrgggff. He ran back down the street limping as he ran and lookin back at me a few times like he was scared of me. The girl was crying and still looking to see if the dog was gone. She was shook up; I said “come off the car Ming is gone he aint coming to get you.” She slide down Mr. Johnson’s car I could see black scuff marks all over his hood. She was scared as hell saying “I gotta find my homework papers” and all the time looking back to see if that dog was coming back

      I looked under Mr. Johnson’s Deuce and Quarter and I saw a few sheets of paper I reached as far as I could and with my tips of my fingers I grabbed it. I remember it was little pieces of glass all over the ground where kids would throw pop bottles on the concrete just to see them break. Is this your homework? As I dusted the dirt off my brown corduroy pants. “Yes that’s it she said looking relieved. Come on I said the school bell will be ringing soon she walked real close to me still looking back for Ming.

      That’s the first time as I remember “Wow! I had to be about 9 or 10 years old I didn’t think I could remember back that far.” “Well can you remember how that made you feel?” “Auw man “he clasped both of his hands over his face and slowly slide them down under his chin as he exhaled and proceeded to respond. “I felt like Superman had just come and saved the day I felt like I was a protector. I felt good Dr Howard wait a minute it’s comin back to me now a little while after that I was in the A&P grocery store with my Mother when I saw that same girl with a lady and she tugged on the ladies coat and told her something as she pointed towards me. They both walked toward me and my mother and she introduced herself to my mother and told her about how I saved her niece from being bitten by the dog. My mother said son why didn’t you tell me you was a hero with a big smile I just looked down at the floor and shrugged my shoulders. The lady reached in her purse and pulled out 2 dollars and said thanks for saving my niece Mr. Hero. What’s your name? Everybody call me “Butter” She looked at my mom and said in a lowered voice ok why yawl calls him butter? That aint no kinda name for a super hero! Well the main reason why we are up at this store now cuz this child loves him some butter-beans and cornbread girl. I remember the girl was just staring at me and smiling like she was enjoying me blushing from ear to ear as I looked down at my $2. She said “thank you for saving me from that crazy dog.” “You welcome.” “Well so you really got validated for you heroism Mr. Fullalove and you even got rewarded. So now can you see how all this got started, your feeling the need to protect and also the feeling you got from these heroic acts.” “Yeah Doc you really make person think you know. You a smart man I likes you.” I listened to a few more stories about saving his cousin’s parakeet that he sucked up the vacuum cleaner and a lost pigeon that flew into church one Sunday morning.“Alright well I think we had a good session today. If we go any further I got a feeling your next story may take us over the hour so we will see you next week Mr. Fullalove.” “Okay Doc I’ll check you then.” I chuckled under my breath as he walked out with a little pimp stroll bounce” in his walk.

      Sandra Sheridan

      “Sandra the boss wants to see you in his office.” “What the hell do he want me for? I don’t know girl it might be because he just fired Ernest.” “What! I don’t see what that’s gotta do with me.” I don’t know but I’m just the messenger I did my job.” “Okay thanks Cindy.” As I walked thru the Men’s department of Milo’s Style Shop the smell of fresh fabric and leather flowed thru my nostrils I noticed one of the fluorescent lights flickering above me “gotta mention that to Mr. Milo that light irks me that butch-ass dyke Sheila checking me out as I walked by I know she wants to lick me from the tip of my toes to the tip of my nose, but it would have to be on a deserted Island in the middle of the Ocean before that happens. Mr. Milo’s office door was closed I knocked lightly, “is that you Sandra? He yelled out, “it’s the one and only.” I opened the door there he sat behind his big ass desk with papers, files and sticky notes all over his desk amid three or four coffee cups all half filled with cold coffee left in them. Mr. Milo was a slim middle aged Jewish man with long sideburns with a little bit of hair under his lip but no mustache, that I never understood. He wore these thick black frame glasses parked to the tip of his long nose. His eyes lit up as he looked up,” Sandra! Have a seat relax your feet for a spell I got a couple of items for you today, you doing okay today?”“ Yes Mr. Milo.” “Hey I just wanted to thank you for the heads up on Earnest when he started working here 6 months ago you told me to keep an eye on him he ‘s up to something. I didn’t see it at first but he started volunteering to stay late and clean up a little too much for me so I had my friends on the force to keep an eye on the store for me a few times a week, and what do you know old Earnest was letting his boys come in with stolen merchandise from other stores and Earnest was putting this shit on my racks with his own secretly marked price tags and then selling them and splitting the money with his boys, slick little scheme but if you hadn’t said something he would have had me for a while. Well this leads me to my second item as you know Earnest was the best sales manager in the men’s department, and you’re my best in the Women’s department. Cindy is the second best in sales behind you only because you taught her all the tricks. Why don’t you take over the management of Men’s and Women’s department” “Oh! Wait a minute I thought you said a year ago when I


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