The Power of Positive Aging. David Lereah

       CHAPTER ONE

       Why Positive Aging?

      At 63 years old, I looked in the mirror and saw a thin and drawn face with a hopeless and almost vacant demeanor. I saw loose skin bundling below my chin. My self-worth was eroding by the day.

      I was petrified about my life. I had survived stage 3 esophageal cancer and was now one of the walking wounded. The aftermath left me thirty pounds underweight, precariously living off a feeding tube, and incessantly coughing and gagging throughout the day. Further, my mind often felt foggy and was no longer the spry tool it once was. I was aging rapidly and didn’t know how to cope with my sudden physical and mental decline.

      I realized that everything I had learned and done with my life was no longer a “fit” in my altered state of existence. Of course, my doctor’s solution was for me to see a psychiatrist. He believed I was deeply depressed about my post-surgery life, and thought I needed psychiatric therapy sessions to help me better cope with my new normal.

      I ignored his diagnosis and prescription and took another route. I embarked on a journey of discovery and I found the power of positive aging. I came to understand that positive aging is a way of living life—a combination of developing certain mindset changes and physical and spiritual improvements—that I believe is a genuine solution to successful aging. It literally saved my life by helping me cope under the most trying conditions.

      I’m convinced that the practice of positive aging is destined to enhance quality of life for everyone facing the marks of aging—whether it’s a serious life-threatening disease like cancer; or a disease that lowers quality of life like arthritis and diabetes; or a mark of physical decline like mobility and hearing loss; or a mark of mental decline like dementia.

      But before we go knee deep into the practice of positive aging, let’s define what it means to achieve “successful aging” and how positive aging gets us there.

       Successful Aging

      Everyone wants to age successfully, but what is meant by “successful”? This question has been the subject of research for decades. However, the discussion over successful aging takes on greater importance today because the large baby boomer population is becoming senior citizens at a rapid pace and enjoying—along with everybody else—a significant improvement in life expectancy numbers.

      Fortunately, doctors Elizabeth Phelan and Eric Larson conducted a review of over four decades of successful aging literature in order to present a consensus definition.⁴ Later, working with two colleagues, they expanded on the previous study.⁵ From the literature identified, they presented nine major elements of successful aging:

      1. Life satisfaction

      2. Longevity

      3. Freedom from disability

      4. Mastery/growth

      5. Active engagement with life

      6. High/independent functioning

      7. Positive adaptation

      8. Psychological health

      9. The importance of interpersonal relationships

      In summary, successful aging refers to a multidimensional involvement with life that is inclusive of physical, functional, psychological, and social health.

      Based on my own experience, I would add a tenth element to the definition of successful aging:

      10. Spiritual health

       Positive Aging

      While the literature is filled with different versions and meanings of positive aging, and while there is no set definition of positive aging across cultures and nations, there is universal agreement that growing older has a psychological impact on us. In general, positive aging covers our ability to maintain a positive attitude, stay in the present moment, feel confident about ourselves, keep fit and healthy, and engage fully in life.

      That’s why I believe that positive aging embodies all ten of the elements of successful aging. When embraced with enthusiasm, positive aging becomes successful aging, and allows us to write a fulfilling final chapter to our lives.

      As we age, the practice of positive aging helps us better control our ability to cope with physical and mental decline. It also provides us with the wherewithal to fight off the stereotypes of ageism that could erode our self-worth.

      Simply stated, positive aging is adopting a positive mindset of aging as a natural way of life. Rather than viewing aging in a negative light as something to be endured, aging is viewed as a positive journey of transition. Positive aging encompasses the elements of psychological, spiritual, physical, and social support. And beyond practicing positivity and holding a positive mindset, it also includes all the other beneficial things someone does because they are in a positive frame of mind, such as exercise, healthy diet, social interaction, and so on.

      So, as you will see throughout this book, I set out on a journey to cope with the horrors of my cancer battle, and on the way I discovered useful notions and techniques that introduced me to the practice of positive aging. You will see boxes labeled “My Journey” scattered in subsequent chapters to demonstrate how I applied positive aging practices to my encounter with cancer.

      I’ve come to believe that positive aging is a belief system that helps individuals better cope with the inconveniences one experiences throughout the aging process. The system’s emphasis on an individual’s psychological and spiritual health, as well as on developing and maintaining meaningful interpersonal relationships, creates a powerful defense system against the inevitable slings and arrows that life throws at us as we age.

      The positive aging movement—led by educators such as Jan Hively, Encore.org; Meg Newhouse, Life Planning Network; and Dorian Mintzer, Revolutionize Retirement.org—is growing rapidly, and there is no shortage of research on it. Literally hundreds of articles and studies have been written on the subject (see Appendix C: Information Sources for Practicing Positive Aging). For a thorough review of the literature on positive aging, including theories of positive aging and the principles and philosophies behind it, see Kori Miller’s article at Positive Psychology.com.⁶

      Information about positive aging can also be found at places such as the Center for Positive Aging, in Atlanta, Georgia: Centerfor-PositiveAging.org. The Center exists to assist elders connect to the resources they need, and to educate consumers about the types of services available to assist in successful, positive aging. The Mather Institute is another organization focused on positive aging, sharing research, trends, and best practices (visit www.matherinstitute.com).

      Another important goal of the positive aging movement is to counter and oppose the age-biased beliefs of ageism. One example is the article “Old Age Appreciated: The Positive Aging Movement,” by Ruth Mutzner, PhD (PioneerNetwork.net, September 19, 2017). Of course, there are numerous organizations speaking out against ageism, including the Administration of Aging, AARP, American Society on Aging, Gerontology Society of America, and the National Institute on Aging.

       The Benefits of Positive Aging

      There are obviously