The Power of Positive Aging. David Lereah
aging.
There is no dearth of advice about how to cope positively with life, aging, and suffering. The activities and practices presented in this book reflect bits and pieces taken from Buddhism, spiritualism, New Age beliefs, laws of attraction, mindfulness, and other notions and techniques that offer positive ways to deal with the suffering of aging.
Aging is a lifelong process, and physical and mental decline occurs throughout one’s life span. With the right attitude and a healthy spirit, aging can bring about much joy and many rewards. Getting older is not all doom and gloom.
As individuals, we possess varying levels of physical, mental, and emotional strengths and weaknesses. The goal is to make adjustments in your life so you can better cope with “inconveniences,” such as changes to your appearance, bodily functions, and mental health, and even life-threatening diseases.
During my battle with cancer, I discovered a number of practices and activities that helped me endure and recover. They are building blocks for a foundation for successful and positive aging. I introduce these six building blocks here and then investigate each more fully in the following chapters.
➢ Your inner spirit (the power of me)
➢ Mindfulness
➢ Positivity
➢ The Four A’s
➢ Social support (the power of us)
➢ Balance
Your Inner Spirit (The Power of Me)
I believe we are more than our physical body—we also possess a spiritual body that is unaffected by time and aging. And I believe we need to spend more time on our spiritual side. We need to strengthen our spirit as our physical body declines. We need to go on a spiritual journey to prevent growing older.
In my view, nothing is more critical than a healthy spirit to cope with the marks of aging. This is the power of me. It is unfortunate, but most of us place little focus on our spirit as we live our lives. Most people are unaware of the powerful role that their spirits can play in their lives, particularly as they age.
Many religions and philosophies deal with this issue. Among them, as an example, is Buddhism, which is about finding freedom from suffering so humans can experience a peaceful existence. If your spirit effectively manages the suffering of aging, you allow joy into your life.
Whether you are an 18-year-old teenager, a 27-year-old woman about to be married, a 45-year-old businessman, a 67-year-old empty nester retiree, or a 91-year-old elderly woman, you will rely on your spirit to confront the struggles of aging. We feel the cumulative aches and pains in our back and other body parts with each passing year. We no longer jump as high or run as fast as in our younger years. Sexual drive peaks too soon for many of us. We take more and more meds to counter our physical and mental diminishment. Ultimately, many of us experience serious declines in quality of life or face life-threatening diseases. With the support of family and friends, combined with a healthy spirit, growing old can be a positive, if not exciting, journey.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is living in the present moment, free from worries about the past or the future. This practice helps people appreciate every moment in life, an effective distraction from focusing on physical and mental decline.
Positivity
Learning to stay positive helps us maintain our self-worth as we face the challenges of aging. It helps us avoid negative thoughts and embrace life head-on.
The Four A’s
Incorporating the Four A’s—acceptance, adaptation, appreciation, attitude—into your life will help you find your way to the Positive Aging Room.
Social Support (The Power of Us)
Perhaps the greatest benefit of providing social support to a person experiencing the struggles of aging is to lift his or her spirit. One is a lonely number. We are all in this life together. If we help each other as we age, we can experience joy rather than suffering. This is the power of us.
Whether it is a life-threatening disease or a quality-of-life decline due to aging, people need support. You need other people who can act as your safety net.
I cannot overemphasize how important it is for humans to stick together as we age. Life can be wonderful in our senior years if we have a support network. Together we can make a difference.
MY JOURNEY
At 62 years old, cancer came a bit early from my perspective. You don’t know how well you have it until you encounter a serious health crisis. No one knows better than me the importance of support from others when confronted with health issues, because I learned firsthand how family and friends can help you manage the suffering and lift your spirit.
My wife, family, and caring friends came through for me and gave me the emotional support, strength, and positivity I needed to get through the excruciating grind of cancer treatment. When I was nauseous, gagging on food, and vomiting from the cumulative effects of the poisonous chemotherapy, my wife was by my side to help me. My family surrounded me with an endless amount of love while my friends volunteered to help with weekly household chores.
My support network literally saved my life during my battle with cancer. Nobody lives in isolation; life is a group outing.
Balance
Finding the right balance in your life as you age is critical to successful aging. The challenge is that we become increasingly out of balance as we age. Aging leaves many of us feeling unsettled, anxious, and confused about who we are. Life balancing includes making adjustments to your lifestyle, social interactions, priorities, and expectations.
United We Age
Conventional wisdom says older people should retire, shrivel up, and fade into the sunset. We live in a youth-dominated society with heavy doses of celebrity worship and the persistent message that old is not cool. Older people are relegated to the backside of society. Conventional wisdom needs to be turned inside out and on its head, and I hope that this book can help change the way our society views aging while also changing the way we age.
Parents and educators teach children how to be firemen, lawyers, doctors, teachers, and construction workers, but no one teaches us how to be 70, 80, or 90 years old. No one teaches us how to deal with life-threatening diseases or wrinkles, failing eyesight, deteriorating mobility, and memory loss. We don’t know how to grow old, and we don’t know how to treat the elderly in our society.
In some cultures, senior citizens are not cast aside. In China, young people are expected to defer to older people, let them speak first, sit only after their elders are seated, and not contradict them. In some African communities, older citizens command great respect. But as China and other senior-friendly societies become modernized, cultural norms—including honoring elders—wither away.
We live in a youth-obsessed nation where aging is out and being young is in. Young celebrities like Kim Kardashian are revered, while the elderly are put out to pasture. People spend billions of dollars on antiaging creams and surgical procedures to eliminate wrinkles because wrinkles make them look old. What if we viewed wrinkled faces as reflections of life’s experiences that took years to create?
Many older people are ashamed or embarrassed to display marks of aging in our forever-young society because they fear being labeled frail and useless. Wrinkles are ugly, wheelchairs represent helplessness, and hearing aids reflect weakness. The cultural belief that aging equals decline and poor health has created self-fulfilling prophecies as seniors surrender to infirmities and sink into depression, believing their usefulness is gone.
Others fight to stay relevant with antiaging products and current fashion. There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to appear young if it makes you feel good, raises your confidence, and promotes a healthier lifestyle. The problem comes when you buy into