Child Development From Infancy to Adolescence. Laura E. Levine
and early care of the baby, while in others they assume a major role in caring for young children. However, in many cultures women prefer to have their mothers rather than their husbands present at the birth (Abushaikha & Massah, 2012).
Ifaluk men are only allowed to see their newborn from a distance while the mother and baby stay in the birth house for the first 10 days. During this time, the father has two responsibilities: to provide the mother with fish to eat and to make a cradle for the baby. On the other hand, the Ifaluk mother hands over the responsibility of caring for the child to the father when the child is 2 years old, and he becomes the major caretaker for the next 2 to 3 years (Le, 2000). In a study conducted in England, Indian, Pakistani, and Bangladeshi fathers were significantly less likely to feed or change their newborn’s diapers than the other participants who were from the United Kingdom (Premberg & Lundgren, 2006), but this behavior is in keeping with their cultural traditions and expectations for how a new father should behave. Such cultural differences remind us that differences are not deficiencies. There is a wide range of parenting behaviors seen in different human societies and infants are well cared for in each of them.
Becoming a Family
There are a number of issues that arise as new parents transition into becoming a family. Both parents likely experience fatigue and exhaustion (especially in the early weeks after the birth and especially for the mother), as well as anxiety, depression, and self-doubt about their parental competence. Women are more likely to worry about changes in their physical appearance, while men are more likely to worry about providing for their family financially (Halle et al., 2008). Both worry about the increase in household responsibilities and changed relationships with in-laws and both find sources of gratification, including the fact that they find the new baby irresistible. If you have spent time with new parents, you have probably noticed that it is difficult to get them to talk about anything else.
How to divide the additional work that comes from having a baby in the household can become a sore point for the couple. One reason is that men and women may use different yardsticks to measure their contribution to this workload. If men compare what they do around the house and their direct contribution to caring for the newborn (that is, changing diapers, feeding the infant, getting up during the night) against what their fathers did, their contribution is significant. Between 1965 and 2011, the amount of time men spent in child care almost tripled (Parker & Wang, 2013). However, in most cases, men’s contribution still is only about half what their partners are doing (see Figure 4.9). Using that yardstick to measure the parents’ relative contribution to child care, new mothers can end up feeling unhappy and disgruntled. Despite the idealized notion of equally shared parenting, a traditional gender division of labor in parenting often continues to exist, with fathers assuming the role of a helper while mothers assume the role of primary caregiver (Fillo, Simpson, Rholes, & Kohn, 2015; Kotila, Schoppe-Sullivan, & Kamp Dush, 2013; Premberg & Lundgren, 2006).
Figure 4.9 Division of labor between U.S. mothers and fathers, 1965 and 2011.
Source: Parker and Wang (2013).
Note: Based on adults ages 18 to 64 with their own child(ren) under age 18 living the household. Total figures (at the top of each bar) may not add to component parts due to rounding.
T/F #10
Following the birth of a baby, couples today pretty much share household and child care responsibilities equally. False
To better understand the type of help and support that can help parents transition into their new roles, use Active Learning: Easing the Transition to Parenthood to explore the services available to parents in different circumstances in your community.
Active Learning: Easing the Transition to Parenthood
Research the services or supports available to new parents living in your community in each of the circumstances in the following list. In each case note whether parents need to pay for the services and whether the provider is a professional (for example, a nurse or a parent educator) or a nonprofessional (for example, an experienced parent).
An older married couple with a premature infant
A single mother with a healthy, full-term infant
An unmarried couple with a low birth weight infant
Searching online for parental support or early intervention programs and the name of your state or community should lead you to some useful information.
Paid parental leave would help relieve some of the financial stress that new parents feel and, as we mentioned earlier, it would relieve some of the pressure that new mothers feel to return to work shortly after the birth of their infants. Although some private companies in the United States have generous family leave policies, only 12% of employees in the private sector have paid leave through their employers (U.S. Department of Labor, 2015). The United States lags far behind other economically developed countries in terms of paid leave for new parents. Figure 4.10 compares the provision of paid parental leave between nations that are members of the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD; Livingston, 2016).
Figure 4.10 Cross-country comparison of paid parental leave.
Source: Livingston (2016).
In the United States, the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) of 1993 allows workers up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave, with the guarantee of return to the same or a comparable job when they need to care for a newborn, adopt, take a child into foster care, or care for a family member with a serious health problem. However, this leave is unpaid and to be eligible the parent must work for an employer with at least 50 employees and have worked for that employer for at least 12 months (U.S. Department of Labor, 2015). That means that only 40% of the U.S. workforce is covered by this federal legislation (Lewis, Stumbitz, Miles, & Rouse, 2014).
In light of the perceived stress associated with becoming a new parent, it is not surprising that a number of studies report a significant decrease in marital satisfaction following the birth of a baby (Hansen, 2012; Luhmann, Hofmann, Eid, & Lucas, 2012; Pinquart & Teubert, 2010). This decline has been found in U.S. couples from different ethnicities, as well as couples in Europe and Asia, however there is less decline in happiness in countries with supports for parents, such as paid time off from work and childcare subsidies (Glass, Simon, & Andersson, 2016).
In trying to understand these differences in marital outcomes, recent research on parenthood and marital satisfaction has moved in the direction of identifying the circumstances that are associated with a smooth transition to parenthood versus a rocky one. First, having realistic expectations for how parenthood will change your life helps new parents adjust to this transition (Holmes, Sasaki, & Hazen, 2013). Second, personal goals usually need to change following the transition to parenthood. When there is a good fit between an individual’s life goals and the opportunities offered by parenthood, new parents are happier (Salmela-Aro, 2012). Third, involvement of the father in child care is associated with more positive satisfaction trajectories for both parents (Agache, Leyendecker, Schäfermeier, & Schölmerich, 2014).
Because a family is a system, for most couples it is likely that any decline in satisfaction with their marriage is offset by other satisfactions from their new role as parents. For instance, becoming a parent adds a new dimension to their sense of personal identity (Lee, MacDermid, Dohring, & Kossek, 2005; Reeves, 2006) and most parents feel they are doing a very good job as a parent (Parker & Wang, 2013).
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