Battle Cries. Hillary Potter
experiences with and responses to intimate partner abuse.
The comments presented throughout this chapter were provided by a diverse selection of the women. That is, regardless of education level, socioeconomic status, and age or generation, the women tended to see their status as that of Black women in U.S. society, which they contrasted with White women’s status. But some of the women, when initially asked about differences between women based on ethnicity or race, denied any differences. Interestingly, though, as they progressed through their answers and thought process, they all identified distinctions.
Paula, a 41-year-old who was raised middle-class and who began attending college a few years prior to my interview with her, demonstrated the greater attempts that Black women must make because of their lack of resources. If strength was attributed to White women, it was in the context of their established position in the social structure:
I think more so, not all, but some White families as being more intact than a lot of Hispanic and Black families.… A lot of times [the White families’] moms and dads are working individuals, are teachers, lawyers, doctors; their grandparents probably are, too. The things they are coming from is a stronger base. Having someone to talk to them about, “What’s your plan?” Maybe they never get off course and stumble and go into these little diversions and never have to jump some of these hurdles that Hispanic families and some Black people start out with. One mother, a couple aunts over here, maybe a grandmother still alive, and it’s a weaker base from the get-go. It’s more stressful. So when I’m down at campus, I think of the women in the classes as the majority of them probably coming from a stronger base from the get-go.… A lot of the White kids are coming from high schools that are preparing them earlier than a lot of these schools in the public school system.… I look at a lot of the [White] women, especially the younger ones, and they’re coming in already prepared. They’re coming in from a different place from the get-go.
With regard to differences between battered Black and White women, I identified several themes in the women’s perceptions. The consensus among the women in my study was that White women stayed in the relationships longer.3 Angie, a 39-year-old who was in a low-income socioeconomic status from childhood through to the time of our conversation, did not utilize battered women’s shelter care or any other service programs for battered women. Angie’s deduction on the differences between battered women by race was based on her general knowledge about White women and the representations of these women in television programs: “I think White women just stay there like I did. It depends on the person. It’s hard to say, Black or White. ’Cause I stayed, and I didn’t think I would. But I think White women stay more and I think they get messed up more, but that’s just maybe ’cause I watch too much TV.” Angie’s account provided an insightful perspective into the often stereotypical images presented in television programming on the portrayal of Black and White women. Billie’s perception was also based on media representations. She stated that White women will “put up with a little bit more. They’ll go with an abusive guy for 17, 18 years. Most Black women won’t put up with it that long, I don’t think.” Other women’s observations were more resolute than Angie’s and Billie’s remarks. Cicely’s opinion was based on her personal commitment to educating herself on the social injustices involving Blacks. The 52-year-old offered the following comparison between battered White women and battered Black women regarding the length of time these women remain in abusive relationships: “A Black woman is more likely to leave. A Black woman will be in a relationship five years. She’s more likely to get out of that one way or another. Where the White woman, she’ll stay in there 20 and 30 years before she either kill him or she get killed.”
Medea’s employment in a position involving work in intimate partner abuse afforded her regular contact with battered women. Accordingly, she offered several professional, educated, and personal interpretations. Although she had interactions with battered women in a professional capacity, it is notable that her comments resemble those furnished earlier. Like the others, Medea relayed that White women are trapped in abusive relationships longer than Black women and provided her reasoning for this outlook:
I find White victims are far more passive. They are far more likely to take it for a longer period of time, and they don’t identify, they don’t internalize that strength that is needed to break away. Of course, that’s a generalization. That’s not every White victim. But the White women that I encounter just in daily life just incorporate [abuse] into their world and go on, and that amazes me.
Medea’s comment that battered White women do not internalize the strength to allow them to free themselves from the relationships as battered Black women do was echoed by Jade, who is a social worker. Because her position involved working with families in need, the 35-year-old Jade had numerous interactions with battered women. She identified an additional, as well as harrowing, aspect of battered Black women that puts them at risk of further intimate partner abuse even if they do not stay in the relationships as long as White women:
I must say the White women stayed in it. I remember that right away. They stayed with their husbands. They somehow claimed that they worked it out and worked through it. The Black women, no, they think they’re handling it.… They continue getting into unhealthy relationships.… Most of them don’t stay. But they do keep hopping into other unhealthy relationships.
Jade’s perception is supported by the women’s experiences as a whole; three-quarters of the women were in two or more abusive relationships. Perhaps Billie’s assessment can begin to aid us in understanding this phenomenon. Billie offered her observation about White women in the context of interracial relationships. She discussed how White women in relationships with Black men will tolerate more than Black women with Black men would: “Things that Black women wouldn’t put up with, [White women] will.” Also, the description of the women’s reasoning for their batterers’ abusive behaviors (outlined in Chapter 5) can assist in explaining the women’s encounters with multiple abusive relationships. Further, it can be speculated that Black women find their way out of these relationships quicker but that they are not closely evaluating their situations once they leave an abuser and thus find themselves in similar relationships.
On the basis of their interactions and familiarity with battered White women, the women perceived that the White women were more reliant on batterers than battered Black women. During her group counseling experience targeted specifically at victims of intimate partner abuse, 48-year-old Olivia, who was raised middle-class, said of the White women in the group: “They became dependent on [the batterers]. They felt women couldn’t survive without a man. I could never figure it out.” Forty-seven-year-old Harriet’s observations derived from her experiences volunteering in a battered women’s shelter after getting out of her abusive relationship. Harriet found in her work with White and Black women in the shelter that the women would say, “Nobody would want me, I don’t know how to take care of myself.” She concluded, “It’s called brainwashing, propaganda, whatever you want to call it. I’d think, ‘Don’t believe it. Get out of there, get out on your own.’ … Some of [the Black women] were like that, too, but not as much.”
Fifty-one-year-old Wendy was raised middle-class and was working-class during her abusive relationship (her husband was in the military) and at the time of her interview. She formed her opinion about the differences between battered White women and battered Black women during her stay in a battered women’s shelter:
[The White women] were scared to go out and venture out on their own: “I can’t do it. I have to go back to him.” They were used to being pampered. Living the good life, but taking the abuse behind closed doors. They were scared to step out and do for themselves [and] give up what they would call the good life, as far as material things. I didn’t care about the material things. If I had it, I had it. If I didn’t, I’ll get it. That’s what I was focused on. Me being different from them was they had it all. They didn’t want to give up that nice livin’ to live in a shelter like this. To live in a one-bedroom apartment, not have nice furniture, have to have used furniture. They wasn’t used to that. So they’d rather go back and take the abuse and send their kids through hell than to go out and stand up on their own two feet. When we had group meetings