Battle Cries. Hillary Potter
up on your own two feet. I’m gonna stand up on my own two feet. I’m gonna succeed anyway that I can. I’m gonna succeed. And I’m gonna show my girls that there’s a better life out there than to have to hang on to some man to beat you just so you can have material things. Get over it.” That’s the way I look at it. That’s why [the counselor] took me to the side and said, “You’re gonna be a strong woman.”
Clearly, the belief that battered White women are more reliant on their batterers than battered Black women is peculiar since all of the women remained in the relationships for a certain time. But this must be considered in the context of how Black women experience intimate partner abuse and their activities during the relationships. Many of the women’s discernments are rooted in the configuration of Black families that are frequently female-headed households with nonresident male intimate partners, where Black mothers often also serve the role of “father.”4 Even if the women were raised in two-parent households, they were personally cognizant of the prevalence of this pattern in many Black families through their personal experiences with extended family members and basic knowledge of this occurrence. Overall, the women reasoned that Black women, married or not, could effectively and successfully handle life on their own without the assistance of a male partner.
Akin to the appraisal that battered White women are more dependent on men than battered Black women is the women’s perception that Black women make greater attempts at being equal with men than other women do. Regarding the Latina/o community, Olivia talked about her Latina friend and Latina/o culture regarding the roles of women and men:
I found out in their culture, and I never knew this until I hung out with them, that women are upstairs and the men are downstairs. You’re not allowed to interact when you’re at parties. I been there, I seen it.… We always got to be separated. We can’t be their equal. If we want to be their equal, there’s something wrong with us. Then they want to get violent.
The women in this study clearly recognized that sexism by Black men toward Black women exists, but they often considered themselves to be on equal footing with men. And, in some instances, as demonstrated in Chapter 5, when they felt pity for their Black male mates, the women considered themselves stronger than their batterers because of the women’s endurance of the abuse and their daily struggles as Black women in the United States. Accordingly, they believed they, unlike women of other ethnicities and races, were able to at least attempt to be equal with men.
In Chapter 6, I assess the women’s overwhelming response to abuse from batterers by employing the resistance endeavors of talking back and fighting back. The women expounded on the level at which White and Latina women, in comparison to Black women, verbally and physically challenge their batterers. As rooted in their dealings with and exposure to battered women of other races and ethnicities, the women in this study believed these other women to not be as vocal as Black women in abusive relationships. Harriet’s volunteer experience at the shelter led her to the view that “White women were more submissive than the Black women during the times that they were in the abusive relationship. Passive. They were more passive. They won’t say nothin’, where a Black woman would speak anyway, a White woman wouldn’t.” Similarly, Olivia stated that “a lot of White women, they don’t stand up to their husbands.” And she spoke again about the relationship her Latina friends have with their Latino partners: “I’ve seen [the men] tell [the women] to go to their room. I said, ‘Go to your room? You’re a grown woman! Why do you have to go to your room? Talk back to your husband!’ She says, ‘If I don’t [do what he says], he’ll try and fight me after everybody goes.’”
The women’s opinions about battered White women’s propensity to retaliate physically against their batterers were similar to their opinions of the tendency to talk back. Forty-three-year-old Jacqueline formed her opinion about the differences between battered White women and battered Black women during her stay in a battered women’s shelter. Her main conclusion was simply but keenly stated: “The Black women fight back. The White women don’t fight back” Cicely’s experience with battered women of different races elicited her prediction that “Black women are more likely to fight back a lot quicker than the White women. A White woman will get beat to the pulp, whereas a Black woman, she might get beat to the pulp, but the man is goin’ be beat halfway down, too.” This statement is evident in the assessment, presented in Chapter 6, that most of the women made valiant efforts to fight off their batterers. As with talking back, they viewed their efforts to be more active than those of battered White women, supporting battered Black women’s reluctance to view themselves as “victims.”5 In opposition to this, the recollections about battered White women were told in the context of viewing the White women as “victims” because of the belief that White women do not make major efforts to defend themselves against the abuse.
In sum, in answering what they think the differences are between White and Black women, the women notably framed their answers from an emotional strength perspective, which was partly demonstrated in the aforementioned accounts. Throughout the following chapters, the subject of strength of battered Black women is prevalent in the women’s life stories and as they describe their association with intimate partner abuse. Hence, when recounting what they knew or thought they knew about the lives of White women, they made many comparisons based on the adapted strength of Black women and the force exuded by Black women who are battered. This is evident in the comments regarding the length of time the women remain in abusive relationships, White women’s reliance on their batterers, and Black women’s belief in women’s parity with men and their personal strategies to combat the abuse. Excerpts from interviews with three women from various upbringings and socioeconomic statuses offer just a sampling of the women’s perceptions of White women’s general strength as distinguished from that of Black women:
I know that Black women in general have to fight harder.
I think Black women just have to put up with a lot more shit [than White women].
I think Black women are stronger. White women get more support, so they just look stronger. Their package looks better.
The women’s perceptions of White women’s personal power are what led to their conclusions presented in the preceding accounts of the reasons White women respond to intimate partner abuse the way they do. Medea’s extended experience with intimate partner abuse victims allowed her to establish conclusions about battered White women’s level of strength, taking into consideration White women’s location in the U.S. societal hierarchy:
The differences that I’ve noticed, that are apparent to me, are the White women are really weak. They don’t see, they who are the second most privileged class in the world, do not see that they have options. They’re like, “Oh, but I can’t do that. How can you stand up?” They are also more attached to the material aspects of the situation, because he is a doctor, lawyer, Indian chief, because of the position, because of the money. It seems to me that they take more shit [from batterers] than women of color, or at least than I would.… They seem to be more passive somehow. It’s odd that you ask that question, ’cause this is something I’ve thought of a lot. I can’t figure it out. I mean, they can take some abuse. I said to one one day, I said, “Your ass has been kicked from here around the block. How can you tell me you’re not strong? If you can take the amount of abuse and be battered to the extent that you have, you’ve got to be strong. A lesser person would be dead. So how can you then say, “Oh, I’m so weak?” It just doesn’t make sense to me. (This was a personal conversation. I’d never say that to a victim at work in a professional setting.) She said, “You know, I never thought of it that way.” The White women I’ve dealt with have a perception that they are weak. It may be because you have a whole civilization catering to you. That may be a part of it.… But their perception is that they are weak and powerless. And that’s amazing to me.… There’s a whole world out there doing your bidding and you don’t have to identify that strength and use it.
Medea’s narrative emphasizes that Black women are forced to summon their