"Swingin Round the Cirkle.". David Ross Locke
and we put him on a platform, wich stunk with nigger—yea, the savor thereof wuz louder than the Ablishun platform itself.
But behold! the people jeer and flout, and say “the platform stinketh loud enough, but the smell thereof is not the smell uv the Afrikin—it is of the rotten material uv wich it is composed, and the corrupshun they hev placed upon it”—and New York goes Ablishun.
Slocum held hisself up, and sed, “Come and buy.” And our folks bought him and his tribe, but he getteth not his price.
Noo Gersey—Ablishun!!
Job’s cattle wuz slain by murrain and holler horn and sich, and, not livin near Noo York, the flesh thereof he cood not sell.
But Job hed suthin left—still cood he sell the hides and tallow!
Lazarus hed sores, but he hed dorgs to lick them.
Noo Gersey wuz the hide & tallow uv the Dimocrisy, and lo! that is gone.
What little is left uv the Dimocrisy is all sore, but where is the dorg so low as to lick it!
Noo Gersey wuz our ewe lamb—lo! the strong hand uv Ablishnism hez taken it.
Noo Gersey wuz the Aryrat on wich our ark rested—behold! the dark waves uv Ablishnism sweep over it!
Darkness falls over me like a pall—the shadder uv woe encompasseth me.
Down my furrowed cheeks rolleth the tears uv anguish, varyin in size from a large Pea to a small tater.
Noo Gersey will vote for the Constooshnel Amendment, and lo! the Nigger will possess the land.
I see horrid visions!
On the Camden and Amboy, nigger brakesmen; and at the polls, niggers!
Where shall we find refuge?
In the North? Lo! it is barred agin us by Ablishnism.
In the South? In their eyes the Northern copperhead findeth no favor.
In Mexico? There is war there, and we might be drafted.
Who will deliver us? Who will pluck us from the pit into wich we hev fallen?
Where I shel go the Lord only knows, but my impression is, South Karliny will be my future home. Wade Hampton is electid Governor, certin, and in that noble State, one may perhaps preserve enough uv the old Dimokratic States Rites to leaven the whole lump.
“I’m aflote—I’m aflote
On the dark rollin sea.”
And into what harbor fate will drive my weather-beaten bark, the undersigned can not trooly say.
Noo Gersey—farewell! The world may stand it a year or two, but I doubt it.
Mournfly and sadly,
Petroleum V. Nasby,
Lait Paster uv the Church uv the Noo Dispensashun.
II.
A Conversation with General McStinger, of the State of Georgia, which is interrupted by a Subjugated Rebel.
Washington, D.C., Nov. 18, 1865.
Sence the November elections I hev bin spendin’ the heft uv my time in Washinton. I find a melankoly pleasure in ling’rin around the scene uv so many Demokratic triumphs. Here it wuz that Brooks, the heroic, bludgeoned Sumner; here it wuz that Calhoon, & Yancey, and Breckinridge achieved their glory and renown. Besides, it’s the easiest place to dodge a board bill in the Yoonited States. There’s so many Congressmen here who resemble me, that I hev no difficulty in passin for one, two-thirds uv the time.
Yesterday I met, in the readin-room uv Willard’s, Ginral MacStinger, of South Karliny. The Ginral is here on the same bizness most uv the Southern men hev in this classic city, that uv prokoorin a pardon, wich he hed prokoored, and wuz gittin ready to go home and accept the nominashen for Congress in his deestrick.
The Ginral wuz gloomy. Things didn’t soot him, he observed, and he wuz afeerd that the country wuz on the high road to rooin. He hed bin absent from the Yoonited States suthin over four yeers, wich time he hed spent in the southern confederacy. When he went out the Constooshnel Dimocrisy hed some rites wich wuz respected. On his return wat did he see? The power in the hands uv Radikals, Ablishnism in the majority everywhere, a ex-tailor President—a state uv affairs disgustin in the extreme to the highly sensitive Southern mind. He had accepted a pardon only becoz he felt hisself constrained to put hisself in2 position to go to Congress, that the country might be reskood from its impendin peril. He shood go to Congress, and then he should ask the despots who now hev control, whether—
1 They spozed the South wood submit to hoomiliatin condishns?
2 What Androo Johnson means by dictatin to the Convenshuns uv sovereign States?
“Why,” sez he, “but a few days ago this boor hed the ashoorence to write to the Georgy Convenshun that it ‘must not’—mark the term—‘must not assoom the confedrit war debt.’ Is a tailor to say ‘must not’ to shivelrus Georgy? Good God!—where are we driftin? For one, I never will be consilliated on them terms—never! I never wuz used to that style uv talk in Dimekratic convenshuns.
“Ez soon ez I take my seet in Congris,” resoomed he, “I shel deliver a speech, wich I writ the day after Lee surrendered, so ez to hev it ready, in which I shel take the follerin ground, to wit:
“That the South hev buried the hatchit, and hev diskivered that they love the old Yoonion above eny thing on earth. But,
“The North must meet us half way, or we wont be answerable for the consekences. Ez a basis for a settlement, I shell insist on the follerin condishens:
“The Federal debt must be repoodiated, principal and interest, or ef paid, the Southern war debt must be paid likewise—ez a peece offerin. The doctrine uv State Rites must be made the soopreme law uv the land, that the South may withdraw whenever they feel theirselves dissatisfied with Massachusetts. Uv coarse this is a olive branch.
“Jefferson Davis must be to-wunst set at liberty and Sumner hung, ez proof that the North is really consilliatory. On this pint I am inflexible, and on the others immovable.”
An old man who hed bin listnin to our talk, murmured that there wuz a parallel to this last proposishen.
“Where?” demanded the Genral.
“The Jews, I remember,” replied he, “demanded that Barrabas be released unto them, who wuz a thief, I believe, and the Savior be crucified, but I forgit jist how it wuz.”
The Genral withered him with a litenin glance, and resoomed:
“I shel, uv course, offer the North suthin in the way uv compensation, for the troo theory uv a Republikin Government is compermise. On our part we pledge ourselves to kum back, and give the North the benefit uv our kumin back, so long ez Massachusetts condux herself akkordin to our ijees uv what is rite. But ef this ekitable adjustment is rejected, all I hev to say then is, I shell resign, and the Government may sink without wun effort from me to save it.”
I wuz about to give in my experience, when the old man, who wuz sittin near us, broke in agin:
“My name,” sed he, “is Maginnis, and I live in Alabama. I want to say a word to the gentleman from Karliny, and to the wun from Noo Gersey.”
“How,” retorted I, “do yoo know I’m from Noo Gersey, not hevin spoken a word in yoor hearin?”
“By a instink I hev. Whenever I see a Sutherner layin it down heavy to a indivijouel whose phisynogamy is uv sich a cast that upon beholdin it yoo instinktively feel to see that yoor pocket-handkercher is