Sex in a Tent. Michelle Waitzman
and deepen your relationship. If that doesn’t work, crank it up a notch: “Baby, going out into the woods brings out the wild beast in me! I just want to get you out there alone so we can run naked through the grass and keep the animals awake all night while we howl at the moon.” Who could turn down an invitation like that?
If your partner is a romantic, don’t forget to mention the opportunities for cuddling by the campfire, eating dinner by moonlight, and skinny dipping under the stars. If it sounds like fun, not work, you’ll have a much easier time making it happen.
Camping together can make your relationship stronger by giving you a deeper trust in one another. You will be physically challenged, have to adapt to changing conditions, and find ways to get by with no help from the outside world. It’s amazing when you realize that the only person you need to survive is your partner. Learning to solve your problems together in the wild makes problems at home seem much more manageable. Knowing you can work through any situation together is going to make you a more confident, more dedicated “team.”
Top 10 Reasons to Camp Together
Is your partner still not convinced? Try my top 10 list. These reasons always work for me!
1 See wildlife without paying zoo admission.
2 Walk all day breathing pollution-free air.
3 See how bright the stars really are.
4 Have conversations that last longer than commercial breaks.
5 Wake up to the sun, not the alarm clock.
6 Toast marshmallows over a campfire.
7 Actually enjoy getting exercise.
8 Hold hands all day.
9 Enjoy dining al fresco.
10 Go skinny dipping!
Kathleen Meyer, a prominent outdoor writer from Montana who also used to guide rafting trips, has experienced the joy of bringing new campers into the wild, and watching their self-esteem grow as they master new skills. “It’s that self-esteem that you build when you’re doing things that you haven’t done before and facing situations that are new to you,” she says. “You bring that confidence back to the city with you. In a relationship, it builds that mutual confidence in your togetherness, that you have survived something, so that it becomes a bonding.”
Even if you do encounter difficulties while camping—and chances are, you will at some point—dealing with those challenges might be the best way to bring you and your lover closer. It’s no coincidence that war buddies have some of the strongest friendships. It’s the challenges we overcome together that build connections. When you begin to admire someone for what you’ve seen them do, it’s easy for that admiration to become something more. Friendship? Lust? Love? When we’re camping, we intentionally put ourselves into challenging situations, so the odds of admiring each other at the end of the day are pretty good. And then we get to crawl into the tent and express our admiration in all kinds of fun ways.
Going camping as a couple can also give you a shared feeling of accomplishment. Nothing is better than standing at the summit of a mountain (even a small one) with someone you love, knowing that the two of you made it up there the hard way. I defy you not to top it off with a big, heartfelt kiss! It’s one of the most popular places for hikers to propose marriage. How could you possibly say no with all of those endorphins running through your body?
One of the things that is so addictive about camping is the wonderful scenery you get to see along the way. Untouched wilderness, spectacular views, and sparkling lakes are just a few of the joys of getting away from civilization. Seeing these things with someone you love makes them even more special, because they become part of your shared experience as a couple. You can look at a picture and be transported back to a moment in time without saying a word. You can mention a particularly hot night of sex you had on a trip, and know that the place will forever mean something different to you than to anyone else who goes there.
Ross Morton, who works with the outdoor education program Outward Bound, says it’s a matter of recognizing those magical moments so you can take them in together. “Even though you may be focused on the end (goal), or what you’re doing, moments of beauty can stop people in their tracks,” he says. When two people stop to share one of those moments of beauty, sparks will fly.
High-Altitude
Pick-Up Artist
“ Several years ago, a guy friend—let’s call him Don Juan—invited me to climb Mt. Whitney with him. I was fairly new to California, and as an outdoorsy girl, I looked forward to climbing the state’s highest peak. I really had no romantic interest in Don whatsoever, so it caught me off-guard when, about halfway up to our base camp at Upper Boy Scout Lake, he broached the subject of whether we might make a good couple. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, or ruin our shot at the summit, so I gave him the I-really-don’t-want-to-ruin-our-friendship line.
I figured Don had gotten the hint because when we were filtering water at camp that afternoon, he took note of my pink toenail polish and told me he was more attracted to women who had the “natural” look, anyway. (I briefly considered using one of my painted-toenail feet to kick him in the butt, but then I figured it was in my best interest that he was no longer attracted to me.)
Later that night, however, Don must have forgotten his aversion to my nail polish. Just minutes after I snuggled into my sleeping bag in our shared tent, I felt his hand gently stroke the length of my body. I ignored him and scooted closer to my side of the tent. Then he did it again. Once more, I ignored him. But he needed an answer. “Eh-hem,” Don said, matter-of-factly. “How would you feel about a little non-committal cuddling?”
I toyed with the idea of asking him exactly what that meant: Did his no-nail polish rule have a high-altitude sex clause? Instead, I simply told him, “No thanks,” and curled up to sleep.
The next morning, we climbed Whitney without a hitch, and I felt relieved until I realized that I had plans to go on a climbing trip with him and a group of mutual friends the very next weekend. As a safeguard, I brought my two dogs. When he asked whether he could share my tent, I motioned to the dogs and said, “Sorry, it’s full.” I have to admit, I felt a bit sorry for him when he realized my dogs were the only ones who would get any “heavy petting” that night. ”
—ED
Deal with the Scary Stuff
It may be a little hard to concentrate on these moments of beauty if one of you is actually afraid you’ll be attacked by a bear at any minute. Putting your partner at ease before the first trip will leave you free to really enjoy yourselves. Once you know how to overcome possible problems, they won’t seem like such a big deal anymore.
It’s important to go into the wilderness feeling confident and prepared, particularly the first time. So let’s look at some common fears for first-time or inexperienced campers, and how you can make them less of a concern.
Remember, just because something doesn’t worry you doesn’t mean that it’s unreasonable for your partner to be scared. I used to be so freaked out by bugs that if I saw a centipede crawl across the floor, I’d go running out of the room. My boyfriend at the time thought I was nuts. “What do think that centipede is going to do to you?” I had no rational answer, but the fact is, my heart would start to pound, and when I saw just one bug, it was like I could feel a million of them crawling all over me. That was just an irrational fear of something that couldn’t really hurt me, but there are some very, very rational fears associated with going camping.
Kathleen Meyer’s attempts at introducing city boys to river rafting caused her a lot of grief in her love life. Somehow, she just couldn’t see that they were frightened by the rapids. “I really don’t know what happened,” she says. “I think I probably blew a lot of them away. I don’t know if it was the wilderness or the rapids or just my choices (of men).”
Assuming that your partner is comfortable