Sex in a Tent. Michelle Waitzman
will have to give up an article of clothing. Fire at will, and prepare the torpedoes for action.
PLAYING DOCTOR:
When was the last time you were thoroughly examined?
I NEVER!:
Tell each other the hottest things you’ve never done but want to try. Perhaps you’ve never given an erotic massage, or gone outside naked in the rain.
TRUTH OR DARE:
Time to find out about each other’s secret side. Has your partner every had fantasies about a friend? Have you ever slept with someone you had no interest in seeing again? Tell the truth!
69 SHOWDOWN:
Who can experience oral sex longer before reaching orgasm? There are no real losers in this game!
Keep It Short
Save those plans for the transcontinental hike for a little later. To begin, go away for a weekend trip. One night in the woods together will get your partner used to sleeping in a tent, cooking meals outside, and facing any lingering fears. What it won’t do is leave your partner exhausted, filthy, and desperate for civilization. Nobody will have to worry about getting lost on a long, backcountry trail or river system, miles away from anywhere. The trip also will be easier to plan and pack for than a longer expedition.
A simple car-camping trip to a park with scenic dayhikes can be a great introduction to camping. Dayhikes with a small pack are less daunting than backpacking with everything you need to set up camp. Likewise, paddling around a lake and returning to a base camp is far easier than loading up a canoe or kayak with all of your belongings and carrying them over portages, while still offering a bit of the scenery you’d see during a paddling trip.
Bring Backup
If your partner has a lot of doubts about being able to hack it with only you to rely on, bring along more people. (This may seem counter to the idea of a romantic weekend, but remember, you can always pitch your tent in a secluded spot.) There is strength in numbers, and your partner may feel safer if you’re not the only one around to help in an emergency. It also takes some of the pressure off of you, since you’ll have more experienced help around. If you know another couple who like camping, invite them along for a weekend. This can be particularly helpful for women first-timers, who may feel much more comfortable with another woman around to ask for advice. After all, no man has to squat in the bush to pee!
Spoil Your Partner
Bring things along that you know will put your partner at ease, even if those items aren’t exactly necessary for camping. Have his or her favorite chocolate bar or cookies as a treat, or a little wine or sherry. If you’re car camping, you can even bring a cooler of beer. Anything that will give an emotional boost to your partner, without being completely inappropriate, would be a good idea to take along.
For Doug, getting his wife out on her first canoe trip involved a lot of coercion. “My wife was very reluctant to camp—she figured it would be a painful experience with nothing but getting wet, dirty, and cold,” he says. “In the middle of the winter, we were visiting with friends, and the discussion turned to doing a canoe weekend together as families. My wife agreed, thinking it would never happen.”
When they actually started planning the trip, she wanted to back out. She tried thinking of creative excuses to tell the other couple why they couldn’t do it. But her husband knew if he could just get her to see the beautiful surroundings, she’d really enjoy herself. It called for extreme measures.
“I talked her into going based on me doing everything: All the packing, portaging, setting up camp, cooking, cleaning the dishes—and she got to bring a lawn chair,” he says. “As it turned out, she fell in love with it. She has insisted on going every summer since.”
A good first impression made all the difference for Doug and his wife. If you’re trying to find ways to convince your partner, think of all the little details that will make the trip more comfortable. Sometimes it’s as simple as an inflatable pillow to make sleeping more comfortable, or a blindfold to keep the sunrise from waking him or her up. For some people, it’s worth packing real cream to put in the morning coffee, or real coffee instead of instant. Try to identify a few of these things that will make the first few times easier for your partner, and make sure you have them handy.
You can also spoil your partner by lavishing extra attention on him or her. Whisper sweet nothings, steal kisses, give a massage, and make it clear that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make this experience a good one.
Time Your Trip
It may seem kind of obvious, but if your partner hates mosquitoes, don’t go on your first trip when it’s mosquito season. If you have pollen allergies, don’t go camping when flowers are pollinating. Planning your first camping experiences to avoid the conditions that would upset you or your partner is the easiest way to make the most of the positive stuff and downplay the negative.
The weatherman should be part of your trip planning, too. If you were hoping to go away for the weekend and the weather forecast says there’s going to be constant rain or a violent storm, it may be worth putting your trip on hold. If your partner’s first experience is really awful, it will be hard to convince him or her to give it another try. Of course, bad weather is eventually going to come up on a camping trip, but if you can avoid the extremes to begin with, things will probably go much more smoothly. Ross Morton, who has worked with Outward Bound for seven years, says the most important thing in introducing a new camper to the wilderness is timing. “I’ve had relationships with people who weren’t outdoorsy,” he says. “If you want to take someone up a mountain, you wait for a beautiful, sunny day to do it.”
Pick Your Spot
Going to the right place can be just as important to the first camping experience as the right timing. Try to find a place that will have gorgeous scenery that is also within your partner’s comfort zone. Don’t plan to climb a huge mountain or shoot Class V rapids on your first trip together. Make it achievable and enjoyable. You can work your way up to Mt. Everest later.
Love = Caffeine
“ My wife is not a morning person at all. Whenever we went camping, she refused to get out of her sleeping bag in the morning, and it would take an hour to get her up. Then she’d be grumpy for the whole time we broke down the campsite. I tried waking her gently, but that didn’t work. I tried to get her excited about what we had planned for the day, but she never seemed to care about that, either. I was at a loss.
One day, I was up a little earlier than usual, so I went outside and made coffee. I poured a cup for her, complete with cream and sugar, and brought it into the tent. I woke her up and handed her the coffee without her having to leave the warmth of her sleeping bag. After that, she was chipper for the rest of the day. So now that’s our morning routine—coffee in bed for my honey. The things we do for love! ”
—BV
If you have been camping for a while, it’s a good idea to take your beginner partner somewhere you’ve already been. That way, you’ll know what to expect, and you can make sure your partner is prepared for what’s coming up next. If you’re considering your first camping trip, be realistic about your abilities. You might want to see some great place your partner has raved about, but if it’s a five-day hike to get there, don’t suggest it for your first trip. Keep your plans in line with your experience.
Involve the Beginner
Even if you are used to doing everything yourself, make sure you get your partner to help you set up the tent, prepare dinner, and make camp comfortable. Nothing makes you feel quite as useless as standing around watching someone else set up the entire campsite while you have no idea what to do with yourself. Start with simple stuff like setting up the sleeping pads and bags inside the tent. My boyfriend has his special way of tying the tent down with ropes, so I make myself useful by gathering rocks for him to use to hold the ropes down if there aren’t enough trees around. (It’s the most useful thing I can do, because heaven knows I’ll never remember how to tie his special knot!)
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