Finding the Sun Through the Clouds. Dawnmarie Deshaies

      I remember every summer, we would go to Maine to see my grandparents and all my cousins. I loved this particular time of year. I had so many cousins I often lost count. I had my favorite cousins surrounding me and encouraging me to come to play. They were my best friends from afar. Their father was my mother’s brother. His name was Uncle Shorty, and his wife was Aunt Gretchen. They had three girls, Lisa, Tabitha, and Stacy. Every time we visited them, it was the best time of my life. All the activities we would do included playing hide-and-seek, singing “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” by Randy Newman, painting our own Monets, and climbing bountiful trees filled with fresh pine cones. We would go down to the corner store to get soda and candy, and on a scorching day, we would get ice cream. You name it, we did it. These were indeed some of my favorite times in my life as a young child. The endless groove from the music, the love for one another, and the incapacitating sugar rushes will never be forgotten. It was always hard to leave after our vacation had ended. I pondered, Why can’t the world be like this never-ending fairy tale?

      I can remember we always had big family gatherings. My mother had three sisters and six brothers. My father had four brothers and five sisters. Honestly, I still have no idea how many cousins I had. All I remember is I loved every minute I spent with all of them. My summers were as perfect as a freshly bloomed sunflower; I was glowing with love and happiness. The pain of the school year being washed away with each giggle and laugh.

      Grammy, my mother’s mom, was the cutest grandmother anyone could ever imagine. I would miss her so much every time we drove from her porch, waving my hands out the car window. Every time we were able to visit her in Maine, she would let me bake with her. The sweet smell of freshly made whoopie pies and cinnamon rolls from an old family recipe filled the room with this iridescent energy. Grammy was so funny. She had no teeth, and every time we would visit, she would always say, “I am going to gum you to death, munchkin! Nom, nom, nom!” I would giggle and hustle to the nearest escape, but she always caught me. She always made me feel so loved. I really miss her. While staying at her house, I always got to stay in the back bedroom. It was my perfect little haven. My mother’s father had passed away before I was born, so Grammy was my connection to my history. My mother is the youngest of her family; although she had a baby brother, he was the only one born in a hospital and he only lived for two days.

      All my aunts and uncles had such a great sense of humor. I believe that to this day, it has affected me, to always be silly and fun-loving, because who doesn’t love a joyful spirit? When looking back on these memories, I see the big picture of how I began to formulate my self-image. Positive attracts positive, so spread your joy, because you will meet others who can share it with you.

      My father’s mother was always fun, but more along the lines of Grace Kelly in the iconic 1955 film To Catch a Thief by Alfred Hitchcock. She really didn’t play with us very much; she was much more proper and would be socializing with all the adults. I never met my father’s father. He also passed away before I was born. I still thank God to this day for what he gave me growing up. I was blessed with two amazing grandmothers, numerous aunts and uncles, and the continually multiplying cousins. Oh me, oh my.

      Every time we visited Maine, my aunts and uncles would ask so many questions about my brother and me. I believed they liked me better (wink face). My favorite aunt, Theresa, and her husband, Uncle Bob, were so hilarious. My uncle Bob would always say, “Hey, baby girl, come over here so I can see how much you have grown.” I would giggle and smile. Then he would always say, “Pull my finger.” So I did, and he would make the funniest fake farting noise. I could not help but burst into laughter—sometimes I even tinkled my pants. My aunt Theresa was always cooking and baking and still had so many pets, like birds, cats, and dogs. Her house had so many knickknacks, like ceramic angels, animals, and clocks. Her refrigerator was full of photos and artwork. I loved my aunt Theresa so much. She was always so funny and very affectionate to everyone. She would yell at my uncle Bob all the time, especially when he tried to sing over our favorite musician, Elvis Presley. That was so funny to me. He would always say, “Woman, you need to find your place!” and she would say, “Come and make me.” I believe this was where my sass and spunk originated from. Oh, how I was and still am a troublemaker!

      My aunt Theresa would always let me do her hair and paint her fingernails. I simply loved the feeling of being wanted and loved. This made me feel important. She would always give me my own room to sleep in because of my asthma. She had an air conditioner in there, and it would help me breathe better. I never knew why it helped me breathe better, but she was always caring for me in those little ways. Aunt Theresa would always be painting; she had a small art gallery upstairs. I loved that and thought it was the coolest room in the house. I loved painting and drawing, and she would always say that I was a great artist. She always encouraged me to paint and draw every time I visited. Sometimes, I wish those humble