Dancing To Happiness. Marisa Santi
dance is an expression in the round, also it includes the recitation of texts. One day it would be great to have my very own school! I do not dream to take part in musicals for a lifetime or to gambol in some stupid TV show. I love dance for what it gives me. It’s poetry for me, unconditional love and it makes me feel free. I do not need audiences, the music enters into my bones and, from that moment on, my body is able to do whatever I want, even to fly.
I get lost in my thoughts and I do not notice the time that is passing, when Robbie thinks to bring me sharply back to reality <<Is he engaged?>> she asks me point blank.
Understanding that she was referring to Matthias I answer: <<I don’t know...>> I pause and then I ask her: <<Could you come for dinner tonight? In this way I will introduce him to you and you can ask him it personally.>>
<<It’s not a bad idea>> she answers immediately, seizing the moment.
In the afternoon I was able to study a little and to spend a couple of hours in the gym, this time without embarrassing interruptions. I go to the bathroom to freshen up and to get ready for dinner. Robbie will come here in a while. I’m still in my bedroom when her message arrives on my mobile phone:
Come down, I’m at the front door.
I rush at the entrance to let her in and make her sit. Matthias has not been seen at all before dinner time, but when he makes his entrance in the dining room to join us, I notice Robbie’s look and open mouth. Maybe now she can understand too why he upset me so much. It should be illegal to be so devilishly handsome With two fingers I push upwards Robbie’s chin to make her close her mouth and I say amused: <<Close your mouth, you are indecent!>> there’s only one thing she can do: remain silent. But she takes revenge with a little kick under the table.
<<Hi Matthias, how are you?>> I ask him staring into his eyes without being mesmerised by his overwhelming magnetism.
<<Fine, thanks. And you?>>
<<I’m fine too! This is my best friend Roberta>> I say to him pointing at her.
<<Nice to meet you Roberta>>
Despite the initial block, Robbie becomes friendly with Matthias. She shows off her cheeky beggar and bombards him with questions. How is it possible that he doesn’t affect my timid friend as he does to me? Last night I was petrified and could hardly speak. We exchanged roles: she has become extroverted and I have become excessively shy. In the dining room there’s the background chatter typical of more open conversations. Suddenly Vanessa tells me shouting from a table not very close to ours: <<Isabel, remind me what is the date of your next competition!>>
<<Do you have to take part in a competition?>> Matthias asks me leaking the desire to be invited too
<<Yes! do you want to come along with these lunatics? At least you could control them to avoid making a fool out of me!>>
<<Sure!>> he answers staring at me in way of making me feel uncomfortable. I look down to hide the blushing and above all to prevent Robbie from noticing it.
The evening passes pleasantly. We decide to stay at home and, as usual, we lose track of time if it wasn’t for the first symptoms of tiredness that stand out. Given the time, Roberta decides to go home.
<<I’m going, accompany me to the door>> she says, dragging me with her. She thanks me for the invitation to dinner and above all to make her become acquainted with Matthias.
While we are heading for her car she looks at me and says: <<I could not help but see how much tight-knit you and Matthias are: I’m worried about this! I’m your friend as well as Max’s friend. I would be really sorry to see your relationship destroyed. You know that I love you Isabel, be careful. If Max sees what I saw tonight, arguments could arise.>>
<<You are exaggerating, I act with him just as I do with the others...>>
<<Are you really sure? Was I the only one to notice how he watches you?>>
<<Why? How does he watch me?>>
<<With sex drive!>>
<<Robbie!>> I growl at her.
<<Trust me, Isabel! Matthias likes you, it is clear. Also when he was taking his leave he watched you deeply.>>
I burst into a nervous laughter and say: <<Robbie, it’s the effect of alcohol! Tonight we overdid the wine at dinner. In my opinion it’s not as you say!>>
<<Whatever. I really hope that this is so. However, I can guarantee that he doesn’t take away his eyes off you!>>
I try to get rid of her to not continue this useless conversation.
<<Good night, Robbie! See you tomorrow! And just take it easy! Okay?>>
<<Yes... Good night, Isabel!>>
We kisses on the cheeks. I see her moving away with her car and then I return home.
I try not to think about what she told me. I don’t want to dwell upon what my friend believes she has seen and upon her “brain movies”. It’s true that he embarrasses me much and I can not help but look at him, but it’s only because I’m attracted by his appearance. I not even know him. Why does Robbie always demoralize me in this way? Heigh-ho!
IV
The last two weeks have been devastating but the long-awaited day of the competition arrived. Oscar, my dancing partner and friend, and I waited for hours for our turn to arrive. We began with a paso doble and two pas seul. During the wait Oscar has had anxiety all the time. Finally they start with the ranking and we hear our names placed in first position. The strain and the intense sacrifices of these months have been useful!
<<Isabel, we did it!>> Oscar exclaims, then he takes me in his arms and makes me spin like a top.
The tears begin to run down unexpectedly, probably because of the tension accumulated during this last period. Besides discovering myself shy, I have become whiner too.
Still incredulous for first place: <<They have certainly appreciated our harmony. We have always been coordinated and precise in the movements. And we bring home this victory too, Oscar!>> I say to him happily.
In these circumstances all the tiredness gathered in days past vanishes. We are a competitive couple and the presence of our friends made us stronger. Their affection gave us a great energy. We had a great responsibility and we could not disappoint the school, our choreographers and all those who believe in us. This will be our last year together. I will miss Oscar a lot. He will go to Broadway, in America. We dance together since we were ten years old. I will never forget the time in which he became depressed because he had not the courage to face his homosexuality. He made many hearts palpitate. He is good-looking and a disarming sweetheart; nobody could imagine he wasn’t hetero. In these years many girls wanted to have him as a partner and not only for dance. After he has overcome his fear and has been accepted by his family for who he is, he succeeded in finding love too. His boyfriend has his own interests and helped him much to come out of the abyss. We have faced many adventures within the school and in life. The thought that he’s going to leave makes me nostalgic. How am I without my Oscar?
I throw my arms around him and say: <<I’ll miss you terribly! Thanks for these wonderful years together, I love you!>>
Since I can no more hold the gathered stress, I burst into tears again, leaning my head against his chest. He holds me tightly: <<Hey, Isabel! You and I will never separate ourselves. You will come to visit me whenever you want and I’ll do the same with you. You will not get rid of me so easily. You are my best friend and dancing partner and I have an unlimited love for you! Come on! Stop being sad... We have to celebrate!>> he tells me, with one of his wonderful encouraging smiles.
We go to get the award and perform again our choreography.