Dancing To Happiness. Marisa Santi
When we arrive at the club I introduce Matthias to Oscar and he, like me and all the women who watch Matthias, remains enchanted by this charming man.
<<Where were you hiding this guy, Isabel?>> he whispers in my ear.
<<I wasn’t hiding him, I know him for a while...>>
<<Is he hetero?>>
<<I would say so! Hey, aren’t you already engaged?>> I ask pretending to reproach him.
<<Yes, but to be engaged doesn’t mean that we should stop feasting our eyes. It is not that because one is on diet can not read the menu!>>
<<You’re right, don’t worry! He has done the same effect on me... But let’s not tell anyone about this>> I confide to him smiling.
<<Apparently your Max isn’t so sporty.>>
<<Absolutely not!>>
We look at each other and burst into laughter.
The days pass and I resumed the same routine. Thinking about it, it has already been over a month since Mathias arrived and a beautiful friendship is being born between us. Yeah, a friendship that is causing me a lot of problems with Max. We quarrel often because he does not like me to spend time with my new friend; his suffocating jealousy grows day by day. His stupid scenes are getting me tired and nervous. Soon I’m going to have a psychology exam and I’m studying hard. It’s difficult for me to focus upon it with one who bombards me with messages and calls to continuously supervise me. Let’s add to this, the exam of the dance school for the academic diploma. Sometimes I think that I have been foolhardy to have chosen both the department of psychology and the ballet school. I did it because I need both. In both cases I can be of some help to others. If I go on like this, I will be the one who needs a psychologist! I stay locked in my bedroom to study for days now. Sometimes I wonder how my father succeeds in not freaking out. He is a businessman, he follows the Financial Exchange and helps my mother with the boarding house. I must have gotten from him to involve myself with thousand tasks. Stop thinking, Isabel! It would be better that I exercise a little to release stress. I go down to the gym and start working on the new choreography for which I’m going to be examined, but each attempt ends badly: These new steps are driving me crazy! I’m going through a bad artistic period; I’m much tired and my relationship with Max is taking a turn for the worst: the one towards the decline! I decide to give it a rest with the workout and to go on the terrace to try to relax a little. I sit on the porch swing and my eyes begin to fill with tears. While I’m busy feeling sorry for myself I don’t notice Matthias’ presence and seeing him I wince.
He sits next to me and sweetly asks me: <<Why are you crying? What’s wrong?>>
I look at him astonished by his presence and his care and answer with a weak voice: <<In a few days I will have to pass an exam and I have an insane fear of not succeeding in it. This is my last year at the ballet school. I feel tired, stressed out, I try to be strong and indestructible and I want so much to fulfil my dream. I know that I could take a break from the university and concentrate on one thing at a time, but I don’t want to fall behind. I’m currently studying hard and there are days, like today, in which I drown in an inch of water. I have trouble doing some stupid steps. Today I’m Miss Doom and Gloom! I don’t know, maybe I’m just anxious for the time that is running away too fast...>> surely I can not tell him that I also have some problems with Max because of his presence.
Suddenly I realize that while he was listening to my whining he had taken my hand and was caressing it with tenderness to console me. His touch... I have not time to think about the effect that makes me his hand on mine that, all of a sudden, he takes my face in his hand and, looking intensely into my eyes, says: <<Do not get discouraged, focus on one thing at a time! Is the choreography important now? Then just concentrate on that and think about how much you worked to get here. Take the passion and the love you feel for this work and act. You are hard-nosed and you can do it. You must not give way to despair for some steps, we all have bad days.>>
I do not know whether to be more upset about the emotion I’m feeling with his hands on my face or about the hindrance to the choreography.
<<I feel so stupid.>> I think aloud.
<<Why? We’re all allowed to become demoralised, the important thing is not to lose heart and find the strength to fight!>>
<<You are right, stop being depressed! Now I will go down and I’ll try again and again the steps until they will be perfect, at the cost of spending all night like that. Thank you, Matthias.>> I say to him, blushing.
<<Good! I want to see you always so full of spirit.>> he concludes, giving me two kisses on the cheeks and freeing my face from his hands.
I needed him to find determination and will to fight and it is thanks to him that I find myself again in the gym more positively charged and motivated than before. Of course, problems with Max remain, but I can not talk about them with Matthias, probably he would not take it well. However, I can not stop thinking about his hand that caressed mine; at that time I felt butterflies in my stomach... I must stop thinking about it!
While I’m focused on what I’m doing, I jerk for the sudden squeak of the door. Roberta bursts into the gym paying no attention to my puzzlement: <<How does your workout proceed?>>
<<Good Lord, Isabel! You scared me! Good evening to you too... What are you doing here? Has something happened?>> I ask her doubtfully.
Usually she advises before coming to visit me. I perceive a negative sensation...
<<Isabel, I need to ask you a big favour...you see, I don’t know how to tell you it. I want you to help me...>> she says without looking at me, almost as if she feared my reaction.
<<Tell me, you know I’d do anything for you!>> I exclaim intrigued.
<<Would you help me to win Matthias?>> she asks me quickly and always more intimidated in a “now or never” style.
This request is like a bolt from the blue that runs through me and I say the first thing that goes through my head. <<I don’t know if I can help you.>>
<<Are you jealous?>> Robbie asks me scornfully, regaining confidence in herself.
It’s certain that this day is going from bad to worse!
My blood froze in my veins, I feel like a thief caught red-handed. I rebut without ruminate too much: <<Absolutely not! What are you thinking about? Matthias is just a friend. It is that becoming friendly with him I learned that he is very busy with his work and therefore he does not have time for anything else.>> I realize that I’m trying to justify myself clutching at straws and saying the first stupid thing that can save me.
<<Is he involved only with his job?>> she asks me sarcastically, showing off a hateful malicious smile.
<<Stop with these turns of phrase! Okay, I’ll try it, but do not blame me if nothing will happen between you.>>
<<At least we will have tried it!>> she exclaims looking at me badly.
<<Yeah right! you are perfectly right, there’s no harm in trying.>> I say to her with a fake smile.
<<Forgive me if I came here without giving you notice. I tried to call you but, as usual, you forgot to turn on the ringtone. Since I was in the neighbourhood I dropped in quickly. We haven’t seen for days and anyway I would also come just to say hello.>>
<<You did well, you know that I’m always happy to see you. Would you like some tea, coffee or a cold drink?>>
<<No, thanks. I have to run off! My visit is a hit-and-run.>>
<<Okay, I give up...>> I say, raising my hands in surrender.
<<I leave you alone to your