I-SOVIET MUTANTS. Amaphupho amnandi. СтаВл Зосимов Премудрословски
-Uvile?
– Yintoni? -abuza i-Chmor Iko.
– Ukuqina kweempuku. Isiquphe sisondela. Ngapha koko. -Umehlo akhe ajonge ecaleni.
Kumgama bekukho ibhola ekhanyayo. Njengoko sasisondela, yayicace gca indlela uSparrow Stasyan ngokuzithandela azitshitshisa ngayo ukukhahlela. Akazange awuchukumise umhlaba. Ukusondela kuleyo ifanelekileyo, ungqatyana, wabethwa macala onke, wakhutshwa ngomnye umdlalo ukukhwela kwimilenze yecala likaZasratich noCherevich Chmor Ika. Umzimba woongqatyana uyatyatyamba. Amajoni ajongile, axela:
– Sonny!! Ngaphandle kwemakethi, ukusuka kwigiya ukuya kwisihloko!! Into awayeyifuna, bayayonakalisa kwaye bayakhanya, balunge ngaphandle kwesiphene kwioyile yakho!!! Sucks, Nyana!!!
– NGOKUQINILEYO, Bawo!!! Cherepoktsy, Golupyan!!!! IIMFAZWE ezilungileyo -UZasratich wahlikihla uthuli emgxobhozweni kwaye wavavanya ungqongqo-ofileyo, owayephefumla ngathi yi-yogi Lama – ukuphefumla okomzuzu. -Naye baphi abanye?? Isilahlile??
– Hayi, nyana. Okwangoku -atsho ishumi. -Oh, ndaphinda ndathetha!!!
– Yiza kwindawo!! -UZaral Zasratich.
– Ewe ewe. Bazahlula kwiimbombo zesibini, kwaye nabani na ofumana phambili uya kuzisa ngaphezulu. Apha.
– Kulungile, sicinga ukuba i-otmazats kubo…
– Wenze kakuhle!!! -ingakhange ilindele ngokungalindelekanga iCherevich phantsi kwendlebe yenkqantosi. Yatsiba kangangeemitha ezintathu, yawa emhlabeni. UCherevich waziqhekeza esityeni ngendlela ehlelayo, kwaye, ukusondela kubalulekile kwabo balwa, wabetha wonke umntu entloko. U-N-Sam, Lowo uphakanyisiweyo ngaphandle kweNqaba enkulu, i-Generalisiphilis yabo bonke abaseGalupov, ubuMongameli bayo, iNkosi ePhakamileyo, uSemisrak uya kwaziswa ngokobuqu ngokuzinikela kuye nakuGalupiya wonke.
– Enkosi ngesipho sesisa, nyana! -amajoni akhwaza ethe cwaka ekhawuntareni kwaye adanisa ubuchule obuziikota ezintlanu ze-hip-hop ukubetha.
– Kwaye ngoku.., – iyaqhubeka iCherevich. -Bamba lo mvukeli!! -kwaye wakhomba kwisikreyi egxunyekwe phantsi kwesanti, awayezama ngayo ngewatshi yakhe, encike kuyo, wayikhupha. Amajoni, ngaphandle kokuthandabuza, abalekela eCerevich, owayengayilindelanga, embambazela, aza aqala ukumkhaba.
– Yima! -akhwaza uCasulia encedisa umjita ukuba aphume. -ngubani omnye owibetha uMbuyiseli uza kushiywa ngaphandle kokutya!!
– Kodwa ngokubanzi nguyise wethu kunye neqabane?! -baphendule abalwa ngekwayara. -Kwaye oku, njengoko uBawo uZasratich watshoyo, kukukhula kwesikram.
– Kulungile, yehlisa umoya!! Utyile uCasulia Zack. Kude kube ngoku, akukho mntu unikwe ilungelo lokucima i-odolo yeNkosi. Kwaye kwabo bangekho kulwazi, ndiyakukhumbuza … – kwaye waguqukela ngokubanzi. -U-Zasratich othandekayo, ngokwaKho, Ophakanyisiweyo ngaphandle kobukhulu beNqaba, iGreatisifilis yabo bonke abaseGalupov, uBongameli bakhe, Inkosi eNkulu, uSemisrack ngokobuqu wamisela uMfu Cherevich Chmor Iko Phezulu Wau Starost Business uhambo ngokwakhe kwiBhunga laseNora elingasekwanga, yinxalenye yeshishini lethu lonke.
Kwaye le nto ebekuxelele yona buqu yinto nje ebubuvuvu. Akukho mangqina. Kwaye mna, i-knuckles ezingenangqondo, umama wakho kunye nomongikazi, nditsho nomyaleli nomfundisi woqeqesho…
– Owu jonga, iyakhukuliseka!! -siqaphele isishumi kwaye, ejonga undlunkulu, emva koko waphakamisa ukakayi esibhakabhakeni wakhwaza. -Aaaaa!!! Ndiyathetha kwakhona!!! Heheheyyyy!!
Ngubani yena? ibuze ikhakhayi kwaye, ibamba ungqatyana, yakhaba uSasyasy ebusweni. Ngenxa yokoyika, uStasyan waqalisa kwangoko ukuqonda nokuthetha uGalupsky.
– Ndi-Stasyan. NguStasyan nje. -ukungazi kakuhle.
– Kulungile, kwisigubhu ukuba ungubani, kodwa unomathotholo kwaye uza kufuna ukutya. Kodwa siya kuyisebenzisa ngoqoqosho. Kwaye ungayiphumli kuyo yonke indlela, asinayo eyoneleyo kwaye ke ngoko ufuna enye endaweni yayo. Kuba unjalo, kukho abanye abafana naye. Kulungile?
Ewe, malunga nemat yethu. -zonke ziphendulwe kwikwayara.
UCasulia wakhwela kumhlana, ovele waba mkhulu ngakumbi kunaye, zaza zambini izikhitshana kwaye wahlala kwispaza esingazi nto, waqala ukubiza njengebhetri kunye nokukhanya.
– Hlala phantsi ngesidlo sasemini!! Uwayale, kwaye wonke umntu wangena edongeni. Ukhafule nganye nganye ngaxeshanye.
– Kwaye ndinenxalenye ephindwe kabini! -vakalisiwe, bengcangcazela uCherevich Chmor Iko.
– Ndiza kwaphula iimpondo zakho ze-shas, -ifikile iZasratich. -kongezelelwa, ngaphezulu, ebaleni… Oko ukufumanayo, yonke into yeyakho…
– Zeka, kodwa ndim ophambili? -Cherevich etyibilikayo
«Kwezopolitiko, kodwa hayi kwigumbi lokutyela,» utshilo uCasulia. Uxolo, mfundisi.
Abanye basondela ekuseni kwaye akukho mntu wakuqondayo ukuza kwabo. Babengafumani nto, kodwa oogxa babo babashiye bathathelwa imali yedosi. UZeka ubatshicela kwaye, bebonke, baphathwa ngendlela egwebayo ngohlobo, yonke into imasyovy, ngaphandle kwe-bazaar, owu umfundi wam. U-Kipisha kwaye eveza evela ecaleni wayengekho, Maza Faka Ewe Wow!..
apulase wesine
kutya faka yes wow
– Maza Faka Ewe Wow!.. Maza Faka Ewe Wow!..
UStasyan, phantsi kokukhwaza kobugqi benyama eyayijikeleze, ngokuthe ngcembe weza kuye wavuka. Imeko yakhe yayingagcwele, enesiqingatha sokuncancisa, enomzimba onamandla. Wavula amehlo akhe wabona ikhuselo lalisenza kancinci kwaye phambi kwakhe bekukho iibhanti ezimnyama ezimnyama. Emva kokuba umahluko uhlengahlengisiwe, kwaye sele ewahlula-hlukana nesilouette yezilwanyana ezingaqhelekanga.
– Ngoobani, la mathambo angenanyama, aphilayo? wacinga.
– Ezi ziiGalupas. -aphendula impendulo engaphakathi egama linguLwimi.
– Yintoni enye iGalupa? -wabuza uStasyan ovela kuLwimi.
– Ngubani okunike usuku ngaphambi izolo kunye izolo entlokweni… Ebusuku, khumbula?
– Ke yayingelophupha?! -kwaye wakhumbula okwenzekileyo kusuku olungaphambili kwaye esoyika ukuzama ukukhasa emqolo, intloko yakhe ibheke phambili, kodwa wakhubeka ngento ethile. Uye wajonga ngasemva kwakhe, wabona neliso elikhulu lijonge kuye.
– Ahhhh!!! Wakhwaza waxhuma. Wayengqongwe ngumthandazo wakusasa, amakhwapha, ephinda ibinzana elifanayo: «Maza Faka Ewe Wow!..» Wavavanya kwaye edinwa. Isininzi siye saza sakhaba ungqatyana omncinci kwindawo yokutsiba esele ivukile, evuse uStasyan.
– Ungubani? -Ubuzwe kwikhaka uZasratovich kwaye wema, ngokuphakamisa umlenze wakhe wenkqubo yokucula iingoma.
– UStasyan akazange aqonde kwanto, kodwa ilizwi lakhe elingaphakathi eliguqulelwe ukusuka eGalupsky ukuya kwiSpar. Ilizwi lakhe elingaphakathi Ulwimi lwaluthethwa ngaphezu kwebhiliyoni ezintlanu ezahlukeneyo zolwimi kunye nolwimi, kubandakanya iilwimi zentsholongwane kunye nohlelo, intsholongwane, kunye namasuntswana e-nano. Ngokudibeneyo- iilwimi zeeplanethi, iinkwenkwezi, iminyele njalo njalo njalo.
– Ndingumntu olwa noStrasyan ovela kuAyaguz. waphendula.
UCherepuk Zasratich akazange ayiqonde le nto ithethwa ngamabanjwa kwaye wafumana isimanga esimangazayo, kodwa sele amazwi akhe engaphakathi, amazwi amanye amalungu eshiya amalungu, axelele abanini bawo ukuba uthini umntu. Yile ndlela bafunda ngayo ukuqondana ngaphandle kokufunda amazwi abanye abantu. Babethetha beqonda izichazi-magama, amagama awayefana kwintsingiselo kwaye ahlukile kwisandi. Umzekelo: «Maza faka yes wow!..», kwaye ngongqatyana kuvakala ngathi: «Chirik, Chirik chik Chirik!», Kwaye emntwini kuya kuvakala ngathi: «Lihle kanjani eli lizwe!» Guqula, kuba izandi zangaphakathi azinazo iilwimi ezahlukeneyo. Zonke izandi zangaphakathi zinolwimi olunye. Andazi ukuba nguThixo okanye uMtyholi, kodwa uyi.. Ulwimi lweengcinga. Kwenzeka ukuba ngaphezulu kwentloko yam umculo wam udlala kwaye uqhelene kakhulu, kodwa awukwazi ukucula. Uvakala iivesi okanye iprotheyini, kodwa awunakukwazi ukubiza kwaye ukhathazwe, urhalela iingqondo zakho. Uyazi ukuba ingcinga iyajikeleza entlokweni yakho, kodwa awukwazi ukucaphula; Uyaqonda, kodwa awukwazi ukuchaza. Uthi umbono ucinga ngokujikeleza entlokweni yakho. Kwaye kuphela xa uphazamiseka, ke kamva ingqondo engaphantsi kwengqondo iyayiguqulela kwaye iyazise umFrentshi elungile- ngesiFrentshi; IsiTshayina – ngesiTshayina; kwenja –