The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter. Petronius Arbiter
me, that had I not been too strong for him, I had gone by the worst of it."
While Ascyltos was telling his tale, in come the same fellow, with a woman, none of the least agreeable, and looking upon Ascyltos, entreated him to walk in and fear nothing, for if he would not be passive he might be active: the woman on the other hand press'd me to go in with her. We follow'd therefore, and being led among those bills, we saw many of both sexes at work in the cells, so much every of them seem'd to have taken a provocative.
Nor were we sooner discover'd than they wou'd have been at us with the like impudence, and in a trice one of them, his coat tuck'd under his girdle, laid hold on Ascyltos, and threw him athwart a couch: I presently ran to help the undermost, and putting our strengths together, we made nothing of the troublesome fool. Ascyltos went off, and flying, left me expos'd to the fury; but, thanks to my strength, I got off without hurt.
I had almost traverst the city round, when through the dusk I saw Gito on the beggars-bench of our inn; I made up to him, and going in, ask'd him, what Ascyltos had got us for dinner? the boy sitting down on the bed, began to wipe the tears that stood in his eyes; I was much concern'd at it, and ask'd him the occasion; he was slow in his answer, and seem'd unwilling; but mixing threats with my intreaties; "'Twas that brother or comrogue of yours," said he, "that coming ere while into our lodging, wou'd have been at me, and put hard for it. When I cry'd out, he drew his sword, and 'if thou art a Lucreece,' said he, 'thou hast met a Tarquin.'"
I heard him, and shaking my fist at Ascyltos; "What saist thou," said
I, "thou catamite, whose very breath is tainted?"
He dissembled at first a great trembling, but presently throwing my arms aside, in a higher voice cry'd out: "Must you be prating, thou ribaldrous cut-throat whom, condemn'd for murdring thine host, nothing but the fall of the stage could have sav'd? You make a noise, thou night-pad, who when at thy best hadst never to do with any woman but a bawd? On what account, think ye, was I the same to you in the aviary, that the boy here, now is!"
"And who but you," interrupted I, "gave me that slip in the portico?" "Why what, my Man of Gotham," continu'd he, "must I have done, when I was dying for hunger? Hear sentence forsooth, that is, the ratling of broken glasses, and the expounding of dreams? So help me Hercules, as thou art the greater rogue of the two, who to get a meals meat wert not asham'd to commend an insipid rhimer." When at last, having turn'd the humour from scolding to laughing, we began to talk soberly.
But the late injury still sticking in my stomach, "Ascyltos," said I, "I find we shall never agree together, therefore let's divide the common stock, and each of us set up for himself: Thou'rt a piece of a scholar, and I'll be no hindrance to thee, but think of some other way; for otherwise we shall run into a thousand mischiefs, and become town-talk."
Ascyltos was not against it; and "Since we have promis'd," said he, "as scholars, to sup together, let's husband the night too: and to-morrow I'll get me a new lodging, and some comrade or other."
"'Tis irksome," said I, "to defer what we like" (the itch of the flesh occasion'd this hasty parting, tho' I had been a long time willing to shake off so troublesome an observer of my actions, that I might renew my old intrigue with my Gito).
Ascyltos taking it as an affront, without answering, went off in a heat: I was too well acquainted with his subtle nature, and the violence of his love, not to fear the effects of so suddain a breach, and therefore made after him, both to observe his designs and prevent them; but losing sight of him, was a long time in pursuit to no purpose.
When I had search'd the whole town, I return'd to my lodging, where, the ceremony of kisses ended, I got my boy to a closer hug, and, enjoying my wishes, thought myself happy even to envy: Nor had I done when Ascyltos stole to the door, and springing the bolt, found us at leap-frog; upon which, clapping his hands, he fell a laughing, and turning me out of the saddle; "What," said he, "most reverend gentleman, what were you doing, my brother sterling?" Not content with words only, but untying the thong that bound his wallet, he gave me a warning, and with other reproaches, "As you like this, so be for parting again."
The unexpectedness of the thing made me take no notice of it, but politickly turn it off with a laugh; for otherwise I must have been at loggar-heads with my rival: Whereas sweetening him with a counterfeit mirth, I brought him also to laugh for company: "And you, Encolpius," began he, "are so wrapt in pleasures, you little consider how short our money grows, and what we have left will turn to no account: There's nothing to be got in town this summertime, we shall have better luck in the country; let's visit our friends."
Necessity made me approve his advice, as well as conceal the smart of his lash; so loading Gito with our baggage, we left the city, and went to the house of one Lycurgus, a Roman knight; who, because Ascyltos had formerly been his pathick, entertain'd us handsomly; and the company, we met there, made our diversions the pleasanter: For, first there was Tryphœna, a very beautiful woman, that had come with one Lycas, the owner of a ship, and of a small seat, that lay next the sea.
The delight we receiv'd in this place was more than can be exprest, tho' Lycurgus's table was thrifty enough: The first thing was every one to chuse his play-mate: The fair Tryphœna pleas'd me, and readily inclin'd to me; but I had scarce given her the courtesie of the house, when Lycas storming to have his old amour slockt from him, accus'd me at first of under-dealing; but soon from a rival addressing himself as a lover, he pleasantly told me, I must repair his damages, and plyed me hotly: But Tryphœna having my heart, I could not lend him an ear. The refusal set him the sharper; he follow'd me where-ever I went, and getting into my chamber at night, when entreaty did no good, he fell to downright violence; but I rais'd such an outcry that I wak'd the whole house, and, by the help of Lycurgus, got rid of him for that bout.
At length perceiving Lycurgus's house was not for his purpose, he would have persuaded me to his own; but I rejecting the proffer, he made use of Tryphœna's authority; and she the rather persuaded me to yield to him, because she was in hopes of living more at liberty there. I follow'd therefore whither my love led me; but Lycurgus having renew'd his old concern with Ascyltos, wou'd not suffer him to depart: At last we agreed, that he shou'd stay with Lycurgus, and we go with Lycas: Over and beside which, it was concluded, that every of us, as opportunity offer'd, should pilfer what he could for the common stock.
Lycas was overjoy'd at my consent, and so hasten'd our departure, that, taking leave of our friends, we arriv'd at his house the same day. But in our passage he so order'd the matter that he sate next me, and Tryphœna next Gito, which he purposely contriv'd to show the notorious lightness of that woman; nor was he mistaken in her, for she presently grew hot upon the boy: I was quickly jealous, and Lycas so exactly remark'd it to me, that he soon confirm'd my suspicion of her. On this I began to be easier to him, which made him all joy, as being assur'd the unworthiness of my new mistress wou'd beget my contempt of her, and resenting her slight, I shou'd receive him with the better will.
So stood the matter while we were at Lycas's: Tryphœna was desperately in love with Gito; Gito again as wholly devoted to her; I car'd least for the sight of either of them; and Lycas studying to please me, found me every day some new diversion: In all which also his wife Doris, a fine woman, strove to exceed him, and that so gayly, that she presently thrust Tryphœna from my heart: I gave her the wink, and she return'd her consent by as wanton a twinckle; so that this dumb rhetorick going before the tongue, secretly convey'd each others mind.
I knew Lycas was jealous, which kept me tongue-ty'd so long, and the love he bore his wife made him discover to her, his inclination to me: But the first opportunity we had of talking together, she related to me what she had learn'd from him; and I frankly confess'd it, but withal told her how absolutely averse I had ever been to't: "Well then," quoth the discreet woman, "we must try our wits, according to his own opinion, the permission was one's, and the possession another's."
By this time Gito had been worn off his legs, and was gathering new strength, when Tryphœna came back to me, but disappointed of her expectations, her love turn'd to a downright fury; and, all on fire with following me to no purpose, got into my intrigue both with Lycas and his wife: She made no account of his gamesomeness with me, as well knowing it wou'd hinder no grist to her mill: But for Doris,