The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter. Petronius Arbiter
to the city-ward; but I turn'd back again in such a hurry that without perceiving it the precious coat drop'd from my shoulders: At last being quite tir'd and not able to go any further, I laid me down under the shelter of a tree where I first miss'd the coat: Then grief restor'd my strength, and up I got again to try if I could recover the treasure; I ran hither and thither and every where but to no purpose; but spent and wasted between toil and heaviness, I got into a thicket, where having tarried four hours, and half dead with the horror of the place, I sought the way out; but going forward, a country-man came in sight of me: Then I had need of all my confidence, nor did it fail me: I went up roundly to him, and making my moan how I had lost my self in the wood, desir'd him tell me the was to the city: He pittying my figure (for I was as pale as death, and all bemir'd) ask'd me if I had seen any one in the wood? I answer'd, not a soul—on which he courteously brought me into the highway, where he met two of his friends, who told him, they had travers'd the wood thro' and thro' but had light upon nothing but a coat, which they shew'd him.
It may easily be believed I had not the courage to challenge it, tho' I knew well enough what the value of it was: This struck me more than all the rest; however, bewailing my treasure, the country-man not heeding me, and feebleness growing upon me, I slacken'd my pace, and jogg'd on slower than ordinarily.
It was longer e're I reach'd the city than I thought of; but coming to the inn, I found Ascyltos half dead, and stretcht on a straw pallet, and fell on another my self, not able to utter a word: He missing the coat was in a great disorder, and hastily demanded of me, what was become of it: I on the other hand, scarce able to draw my breath, resolv'd him by my languishing eyes, what my tongue would not give me leave to speak: At length recovering by little and little, I plainly told him the ill luck I had met with: But he thought I jested, and tho' the tears in my eyes might have been as full evidence to him as an oath, he yet questioned the truth of what I said, and would not believe but I had a mind to cheat him. During this, Gito stood as troubled as my self, and the boy's sadness increased mine: But the fresh suit that was after us, distracted me most. I opened the whole to Ascyltos who seem'd little concern'd at it, as having luckily got off for the present, and withal assur'd himself, that we were past danger, in that we were neither known, nor seen by any one: However, it was thought fit to pretend a sickness, that we might have the better pretext to keep where we were: But our monies falling shorter than we thought of, and necessity enforcing us, we found it high time to sell some of our pillage.
It was almost dark, when going into the brokers market, we saw abundance of things to be bought and sold: of no extraordinary value, 'tis true; yet such whose night-walking trade, the dusk of the evening might easily conceal. We also had the mantle with us, and taking the opportunity of a blind corner, fell a shaking the skirt of it, to try if so glittering a shew would bring us a purchaser; nor had we been long there, e're a certain country-man, whom I thought I had seen before, came up to us with a hussye that follow'd him, and began to consider the mantle more narrowly, as on rhe other side did Ascyltos our country chapman's shoulders, which presently startled him, and struck him dumb, nor could my self behold 'em without being concern'd at it, for he seemed to me to be the same fellow that had found the coat in the wood, as in truth he was: But Ascyltos doubting whether he might trust his eyes or not, and that he might not do any thing rashly, first came nearer to him as a buyer, and taking the coat from his shoulders, began to cheapen, and turn it more carefully. O the wonderful vagaries of fortune! for the country-man had not so much as examined a seam of it, but carelessly exposed it as beggars-booty.
Ascyltos seeing the coat unript, and the person of the seller contemptible, took me aside from the crowd: And "Don't you see, brother," said he, "the treasure I made such moan about is returned? That's the coat with the gold in't, all safe and untoucht: What therefore do we do, or what course shall we take to get our own again?"
I now comforted, not so much that I had seen the booty, but had clear'd my self of the suspicion that lay upon me, was by no means for going about the bush, but down-right bringing an action against him, that if the fellow would not give up the coat to the right owner, we might recover it by law:
Laws bear the name, but money has the power;
The cause is bad when e'er the client's poor:
Those strickt liv'd men that seem above our world
Are oft too modest to resist our gold.
So judgment, like our other wares, is sold;
And the grave knight that nods upon the laws,
Wak'd by a fee, hems, and approves the cause.
Ascyltos on the other side afraid of the law, "Who," said he, "knows us in this place, or will give any credit to what we say? I am clear for buying it, tho' we know it to be our own, and rather recover the treasure with a little money, than embroil our selves in an uncertain suit"; but we had not above a couple of groats ready money, and that we design'd should buy us somewhat to eat. Least therefore the coat should be gone in the mean time, we agreed, rather than fail, to sell the mantle at a lower price, that the advantage we got by the one, might make what we lost by the other more easie.
As soon therefore as we had spread open the mantle, the woman that stood muffled by the country-man, having pryingly taken notice of some tokens about it, forceably laid both hands on't, and setting up her throat, cryed out, "Thieves, thieves!"
We on the t'other part being disordered at it, lest yet he might seem to do nothing, got hold of the totter'd coat, and as spitefully roar'd, they had robb'd us of it: But our case was in no wise like theirs, and the rabble that came in to the out-cry, ridicul'd, as they were wont, the weaker side, in that the others laid claim to so rich a mantle, and we to a ragged coat, scarce worth a good patch. At this Ascyltos could hardly keep his countenance; but the noise being over, We see, said he, how every one likes his own best, give us our coat, and let them take the mantle.
The country-man and the woman lik'd the exchange well enough, but a sort of petty-foggers, most of whose business was such night practice, having a mind to get the mantle themselves, as importunately required, that both mantle and coat should be left in their hands, and the judge would hear their complaints on the morrow: For it was not the things alone that seem'd to be in dispute, but quite another matter to be enquir'd into, to wit, a strong suspicion of robbery on both sides.
At last it was agreed to put both into some indifferent hand, till the right were determin'd; when presently one, I know not who, with a bald pate, and a face full of pimples, he had been formerly a kind of solicitor, steps out of the rout, and laying hold on the mantle, said he'd be security it should be forth-coming the next day: when in truth he intended nothing more, but that having gotten it into hucksters hands, it might be smugled among them, as believing we would never come to own it, for fear of being taken up for it; for our part we were as willing as he; and an accident befriended both of us: For the country-man thinking scorn of it, that we demanded to have the patcht coat given us, threw it at Ascyltos's head, and discharging us of everything but the mantle, required that to be secur'd as the only cause of the dispute. Having therefore recovered, as we thought, our treasure, we made all the haste we could to the inn, and having shut the door upon us, made our selves merry, as well with the Judgment of the rabble as of our detractors, who with so much circumspection had restor'd us our money.
While we were ripping the coat and taking out the gold, we overheard somebody asking mine host, what kind of people those were that had just now come in, and being startled at it, I went down to see what was the matter, and understood that a city serjeant, who according to the duty of his office, took an account of all strangers, and had seen a couple come into the inn, whose names he had not yet registered, and therefore, inquired of what country they were, and what way of living they had.
But mine host gave me such a blind account of it, that I began to suspect we were not safe there; whereupon for fear of being taken up, we thought fit to go off for the present, and not come back again till it was in the night, but leave the care of our supper to Gito.
We had resolv'd to keep out of the broad streets, and accordingly took our walk thro' that quarter of the city where we were likely to meet least company; when in a narrow winding lane that had not passage thro', we saw somewhat before us, two comely matron-like women, and followed them