Oscar Wilde: The Complete Works. Knowledge house
Gwendolen!
gwendolen
The story of your romantic origin, as related to me by mamma, with unpleasing comments, has naturally stirred the deeper fibres of my nature. Your Christian name has an irresistible fascination. The simplicity of your character makes you exquisitely incomprehensible to me. Your town address at the Albany I have. What is your address in the country?
jack
The Manor House, Woolton, Hertfordshire.
[Algernon, who has been carefully listening, smiles to himself, and writes the address on his shirt-cuff. Then picks up the Railway Guide.]
·48· gwendolen
There is a good postal service, I suppose? It may be necessary to do something desperate. That of course will require serious consideration. I will communicate with you daily.
jack
My own one!
gwendolen
How long do you remain in town?
jack
Till Monday.
gwendolen
Good! Algy, you may turn round now.
algernon
Thanks, I’ve turned round already.
gwendolen
You may also ring the bell.
jack
You will let me see you to your carriage, my own darling?
gwendolen
Certainly.
·49· jack
[To Lane, who now enters.] I will see Miss Fairfax out.
lane
Yes, sir. [Jack and Gwendolen go off.]
[Lane presents several letters on a salver to Algernon. It is to be surmised that they are bills, as Algernon after looking at the envelopes, tears them up.]
algernon
A glass of sherry, Lane.
lane
Yes, sir.
algernon
To-morrow, Lane, I’m going Bunburying.
lane
Yes, sir.
algernon
I shall probably not be back till Monday. You can put up my dress clothes, my smoking jacket, and all the Bunbury suits …
·50· lane
Yes, sir. [Handing sherry.]
algernon
I hope to-morrow will be a fine day, Lane.
lane
It never is, sir.
algernon
Lane, you’re a perfect pessimist.
lane
I do my best to give satisfaction, sir.
[Enter Jack. Lane goes off.]
jack
There’s a sensible, intellectual girl! the only girl I ever cared for in my life. [Algernon is laughing immoderately.] What on earth are you so amused at?
algernon
Oh, I’m a little anxious about poor Bunbury, that is all.
jack
If you don’t take care, your friend Bunbury will get you into a serious scrape some day.
·51· algernon
I love scrapes. They are the only things that are never serious.
jack
Oh, that’s nonsense, Algy. You never talk anything but nonsense.
algernon
Nobody ever does.
[Jack looks indignantly at him, and leaves the room. Algernon lights a cigarette, reads his shirt-cuff, and smiles.]
Act-drop.
·53· Second Act.
·55· Scene—Garden at the Manor House. A flight of gray stone steps leads up to the house. The garden, an old-fashioned one, full of roses. Time of year, July. Basket chairs, and a table covered with books, are set under a large yew tree.
[Miss Prism discovered seated at the table. Cecily is at the back watering flowers.]
miss prism
[Calling.] Cecily, Cecily! Surely such a utilitarian occupation as the watering of flowers is rather Moulton’s duty than yours? Especially at a moment when intellectual pleasures await you. Your German grammar is on the table. Pray open it at page fifteen. We will repeat yesterday’s lesson.
cecily
[Coming over very slowly.] But I don’t like German. It isn’t at all a becoming language. I know perfectly well that I look quite plain after my German lesson.
·56· miss prism
Child, you know how anxious your guardian is that you should improve yourself in every way. He laid particular stress on your German, as he was leaving for town yesterday. Indeed, he always lays stress on your German when he is leaving for town.
cecily
Dear Uncle Jack is so very serious! Sometimes he is so serious that I think he cannot be quite well.
miss prism
[Drawing herself up.] Your guardian enjoys the best of health, and his gravity of demeanour is especially to be commended in one so comparatively young as he is. I know no one who has a higher sense of duty and responsibility.
cecily
I suppose that is why he often looks a little bored when we three are together.
miss prism
Cecily! I am surprised at you. Mr. Worthing has many troubles in his life. Idle merriment and triviality would be out of place in his conversation. You must remember his constant anxiety about that unfortunate young man his brother.
·57· cecily
I wish Uncle Jack would allow that unfortunate young man, his brother, to come down here sometimes. We might have a good influence over him, Miss Prism. I am sure you certainly would. You know German, and geology, and things of that kind influence a man very much. [Cecily begins to write in her diary.]
miss prism
[Shaking her head.] I do not think that even I could produce any effect on a character that according to his own brother’s admission is irretrievably weak and vacillating. Indeed I am not sure that I would desire to reclaim him. I am not in favour of this modern mania for turning bad people into good people at a moment’s notice. As a man sows so let him reap. You must put away your diary, Cecily. I really don’t see why you should keep a diary at all.
cecily
I keep a diary in order to enter the wonderful secrets of my life. If I didn’t write them down I should probably forget all about them.
miss prism
Memory, my dear Cecily, is the diary that we all carry about with us.
cecily
Yes, but it usually chronicles the things that have ·58· never happened, and