Etiquette Guide to Japan. Boye Lafayette De Mente
REVISED AND EXPANDED THIRD EDITION
ETIQUETTE GUIDE TO
JAPAN
Know the rules that
make the difference!
BOYÉ L AFAYETTE DE MENTE
RE VISED BY GEOFF BOT TING
TUTTLE Publishing
Tokyo | Rutland, Vermont | Singapore
Contents
| Introduction | |
| Notes on the Japanese Language | |
| Preface | |
| 1 | Origins of Japanese Etiquette |
| 2 | The Role of Harmony |
| 3 | The Vertical Society |
| 4 | Samurai Legacies |
| 5 | Language in Japanese Etiquette |
| 6 | The Use of Names |
| 7 | Using Titles |
| 8 | When & How to Bow |
| 9 | Shaking Hands the Japanese Way |
| 10 | The Protocol of Seating |
| 11 | Dining Etiquette |
| 12 | The Japanese Way of Drinking |
| 13 | Paying Bar & Restaurant Bills |
| 14 | Public Etiquette |
| 15 | Electronic Etiquette |
| 16 | Using (& Surviving) Public Transportation |
| 17 | Bath & Toilet Protocol |
| 18 | The Importance of Gift Giving |
| 19 | Japan’s Home-Visiting Etiquette |
| 20 | Tea Ceremony Protocol |
| 21 | Japan’s Festival Culture |
| 22 | The Importance of the Apology |
| 23 | Expressing Appreciation |
| 24 | Dating in Japan |
| 25 | Wedding Customs |
| 26 | Wakes, Funerals & Memorial Services |
| 27 | Shrine & Temple Etiquette |
| 28 | Inns as Portals to Japan’s Past |
| 29 | The Art of Arts & Crafts |
| 30 | People-Watching |
| 31 | Japan’s Greening |
| 32 | Business in Japan |
| 33 | Business Etiquette—the Younger Generation |
| 34 | The Changing Role of Foreigners in the Workplace |
| 35 | Introductions & Relationships |
| 36 | Name Cards & How to Exchange Them |
| 37 | Vague Language |
| 38 | Criticism Taboos |
| 39 | The Pitfalls of Praise in Japan |
| 40 | Sayonara—“If it must be so!” |
| Glossary of Useful Terms | |
| Glossary of IT Terms | |
| Index |
Introduction
“Pack your bags. You’re headed to Japan!”
Your boss can be unpredictable and demanding, and this is no exception. You’re being sent off to Tokyo with no time to prepare. You have a ticket, passport, a hastily packed suitcase and little else.
After arriving at Narita Airport, you take the train into the city, and, to your relief, much of the place seems familiar and well organized. Roads, cars, pedestrians, towering buildings. A comfortable climate. But then you start to notice a few things that are quite unlike anything you’ve ever seen.
About a quarter of the population is going about its daily lives while wearing what appear to be surgical masks. Have you arrived during an epidemic?
Some restaurants are fronted by food samples . . . made of plastic. Step inside, and the guy behind the counter immediately shouts something right at you. How do you respond? Should you respond?
A ride down an escalator is accompanied by a recorded announcement delivered by a high-pitched robot-like female voice. What is she saying? And is she trying to tell you something important?
When you meet your Japanese client, not only does he shake your hand, but he bows, and continues to hold on to your business card in both hands as if it were a precious museum piece. Should you do the same?
Arriving in Japan for the first time is an unforgettable experience, exhilarating and enlightening—but at the same time confusing. Over the centuries, this island nation has developed its own elaborate set of formalities and manners. A few have roots in China, but many are uniquely Japanese. Nearly all were developed for specific reasons, and even have a pragmatic role to play. So forget that outdated stereotype about the “inscrutable Japanese.”
That’s why you need to read this book. It will equip you with a thorough understanding of Japanese etiquette to smooth your experiences and help avoid embarrassment. Moreover, this book is entertaining and educational, giving you an insight into the customs of one of the world’s most fascinating societies.
Notes on the
Japanese Language
Much of the writing that you see in Japan consists of the language’s famous ideographic characters or kanji (kahn-jee). But virtually all of the bus, subway, train, hotel, restaurant, and shop signs and names you encounter will also be written in the familiar Roman letters of the English language. These Romanized words make the Japanese language surprisingly easy for Westerners to pronounce.
Japanese is based on five vowels and a number of consonants that are combined to create an alphabet of syllables that never change. The result is that there are no “weird” or unexpected spellings or pronunciations of Japanese words, unlike in English and many other languages.
Once you learn how to pronounce the vowels and the vowel-consonant combinations, you know how to pronounce every word in the Japanese language. The five Japanese vowels are represented by the Roman letters A, I, U, E, and O. They are pronounced as follows:
| A | ah |
| I | ee |
| U | uu as in rue |
| E | eh |
| O | oh |
These vowels are “syllables” in themselves and are key elements in the vowel-consonant combinations that make up the rest of the Japanese alphabet. The following charts include all of the syllables in the Japanese language, along with their English phonetic equivalents. Just pronounce the phonetics in standard English and the sounds will come out “in Japanese.”
Primary Syllables
| KA | KI | KU | KE | KO |
| kah | kee | kuu | kay | koe |
| SA | SHI | SU | SE | SO |
| sah | she | sue | say | so |
| TA | CHI | TSU | TE |