Etiquette Guide to Japan. Boye Lafayette De Mente
contributions to Japanese civilization included its writing system, styles and techniques of art and architecture, technology, medicine, and religious, philosophical, and legal systems. The heart of the Chinese system of etiquette was the culture of the Imperial Court in the Chinese capital, and this became the model for the Japanese.
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The Role of Harmony
According to legend, Japan’s first imperial government dated from around 600 BC. It was based on the concept of kō chi kōmin (kohh-chee kohh-meen), in which all of the people literally belonged to the emperor, had no inherent freedoms, and could not own private property. This system lasted until the eighth century AD.
The foundation of the social system during this period was harmony, or wa (wah) in Japanese. This was a hierarchical harmony that required each individual, regardless of his or her place in the vertical structure, to do exactly what was expected in the exact manner prescribed. The absolutes in system were peace and a minutely detailed respect—all within the context of the superior-inferior structure of the society.
The cultural “glue” that was designed to uphold Japanese-style harmony eventually came to be subsumed in the word amae (ah-my), which I define as “indulgent love.” In this framework, all relationships should be based on a kind of “love” that indulges people’s needs as well as their idiosyncrasies, even when it is disadvantageous to do so. The amae factor in Japanese relationships was rooted in the desire to avoid disharmony and became a key element in the etiquette of the Japanese, protecting and sustaining their kao (kah-oh) or “face”—their sense of honor and their reputation—by making it possible for them to maintain wa.
The concern with face in Japanese society gave rise to another important element in Japan’s system of etiquette— enryo (inn-rio), which literally means “considering from a distance” but in practical usage means holding back, not being aggressive. The avoidance of confrontation and aggression is still very much in evidence today, especially during business meetings, lectures, and other situations where most Americans or Europeans would feel free to speak up with questions or criticisms.
In the system of etiquette that evolved around these cultural imperatives, wa was of ultimate importance. All behavior and all relationships—personal, public, and professional—were controlled by a carefully prescribed etiquette that was designed to maintain harmony and often took precedence over both human feelings and practical reasoning.
To hear many older Japanese tell it, wa remains the basic building block of Japanese society and has been responsible for much of its economic success. Many Japanese cultural traits, including decision-making by consensus, groupism, shared responsibility, and even ongoing resistance and criticism of the inroads being made by foreign cultures, are predicated on the need and desire for purely Japanese-style harmony.
Having been conditioned over the centuries to a codified system of behavior that took on the color and force of a religion, the Japanese became so accustomed to a specific “Japanese way” of doing things that they developed an extreme sensitivity to any deviation from the norm. Unexpected or nonstandard behavior not only disrupted the cultural imperative of harmony, it was extremely stressful and could be dangerous to the individuals concerned.
Japanese today are still extraordinarily sensitive to non-Japanese behavior. This sensitivity and ensuing stress were partially responsible for the general resistance to foreign companies and foreign workers coming into the country that existed until recent times, and also affected Japanese travel abroad. During the 1950s and 1960s some Japanese who traveled for business were so unprepared to handle the kind of casual, chaotic behavior that Westerners took for granted that they became nervous wrecks after only a short period of time. Many of them holed up in their hotel rooms for several days and then returned home. (Also key was that their hosts often insisted on serving them frequent and large helpings of meat, to which they were not accustomed and which typically made them ill.)
Another important aspect of harmonized behavior in Japan was that it made life predictable. Japanese people could anticipate one another’s attitudes and reactions to the point that verbal communication was often unnecessary. The Japanese eventually came to pride themselves on this “telepathic” ability, pointing to it as one of the cultural characteristics that made them different from other people—and made their culture superior in many respects.
Since Japan’s cultural telepathy is generally etiquette-based, it is incomprehensible or even unrecognizable to anyone not intimately familiar with Japanese behavior. Anyone—visitor or resident businessperson—who wants to truly understand and communicate with the Japanese must learn to appreciate many aspects of their etiquette.
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The Vertical Society
Early Japanese society was divided into distinct classes that were arranged in descending order of power and privilege. At the top of the pyramid was, of course, the emperor, followed by members of the royal family, court officials, Shinto priests and Buddhist monks, members of the military, scholars, artisans, farmers, and merchants.
The social system was a vertically arranged hierarchy of superiors and inferiors in which very specific kinds of behavior were required to demonstrate and maintain social differences and to cater to the vanity of those on higher levels of the pyramid. The common people had few rights and were subject to the wishes and whims of the ruling classes.
Rural commoners were required to behave in a submissive and obedient manner toward their clan lords and their lords’ samurai retainers. Townspeople were expected to be equally subservient to the town magistrates and their samurai police.
This hierarchical structure meant that members of the upper classes had virtually absolute power over members of the lower classes. Access to an impartial authority higher than a samurai warrior or local warlord was rare, with the result that the common people became resigned to their lot and obedient to those in authority.
As in most feudalistic societies, classes in Japan became hereditary and were eventually fixed by law. The last legal sanctions involving divisions by class, rank, or other criteria were abolished during the first months of the American military occupation of Japan after World War II, but some of the customs were so deeply rooted in the Japanese psyche that they continued.
Strict hierarchies are still a fundamental part of virtually every Japanese organization today, and are sometimes credited with Japan’s many successes over the past fifty years. The existence of these hierarchies generally helps to maintain a team approach that is indeed a source of strength— even though many in the internationalized younger generation chafe under such restraints.
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Samurai Legacies
European countries had their age of knights and professional warriors by other names, but no country in the world was more influenced by the ethics and etiquette of its warrior class than Japan. The famed samurai came to power in AD 1192 with the establishment of a shogunate form of government—essentially a military dictatorship—that was to reign supreme for more than six hundred years.
Japan’s central government during this time was ruled over by a series of shoguns who were supported by an army of samurai warriors, as were each of the more than two hundred provincial clan lords around the country. The only citizens permitted to carry weapons and hold office, the samurai followed a code of behavior and belief based on Confucian concepts and Zen principles. They developed a lifestyle centered on the use of the sword, total loyalty to their masters, and a system of formal etiquette that was prescribed down to the slightest bodily movement.
So powerful was the samurai class that their style of living and exquisitely choreographed etiquette became the role model for all Japan. Over the generations, the culture they developed came to impact every aspect of the lives of the Japanese people—their philosophical and spiritual beliefs, their etiquette, their family life, their dress, their work, their aesthetic sense, and even their recreation. This samurai code also had a profound influence on Japanese crafts, literature,