Etiquette Guide to Japan. Boye Lafayette De Mente
common culture.
The influence of the elite samurai class was even to outlast the shogunate form of government, which was overthrown in 1867 by a group of samurai from distant provinces who were convinced that it was not capable of protecting the country from rising European powers. These ex-samurai rebels took the lead in converting the country from a feudalistic agricultural state into what by the early decades of the twentieth century would be one of the world’s foremost industrial powerhouses.
It was also the legacy of the samurai spirit that made it possible for tiny, resource-poor Japan to grow into the world’s second largest economy less than 30 years after the disastrous Pacific War (1941–1945) resulted in the distruction of most of its industrial infrastructure.
The samurai and their code of ethics imbued the Japanese people with a range of lasting national traits that included the abilities to use both the emotional and intellectual sides of their brains, to work diligently as teams for the benefit of the group, to focus on ambitious goals with laser-like intensity, to persevere in the face of seemingly insurmountable challenges, and to create arts and crafts that have emotional and sensual appeal as well as practical applications.
The influence of the samurai has diminished today, but is still visible in the stylized behavior of the Japanese and in the dedication of artists, crafts people, and ordinary workers in Japan. The samurai code of ethics and etiquette still sets the standard that many Japanese strive to attain. And today there is a growing nostalgia in Japan for the discipline and manners that characterized the lives of the samurai.
5
Language in Japanese Etiquette
The importance of etiquette in the Japanese worldview had a fundamental influence on the development and use of the Japanese language. The sensitivity of the Japanese to superior-inferior relationships, to the imperative that they pay calculated respect and obsequiousness to superiors in word as well as deed, made them obsessively sensitive to language.
Over the centuries, special words, special word endings, and several different “levels” of the Japanese language emerged as part of the overall etiquette system.
A highly stylized level of language was used at the imperial court, and a lower level was used at the courts of the shogun and the provincial lords. There was also a formal level used when addressing superiors and a distinctive form used in speechmaking, formal writing, and news reporting, as well as levels for addressing equals and inferiors.
These levels of the Japanese language are still in use today and are sufficiently distinct to be considered quasi-dialects. Although the average Japanese person can understand most of these “dialects” fairly well simply from exposure to them from childhood, skill in using them does not come automatically. Each of them has its own vocabulary and style and requires substantial study and practice to master.
In addition, the residents of several regions have their own true dialects of the Japanese language. Special groups and classes of people—including Japan’s professional gangster class, the yakuza (yah-kuu-zah)—also have their own jargon. Some of these dialects and jargons are so different from standard Japanese that an outsider cannot understand them.
Another important aspect of language etiquette in Japan is the constant use of aizuchi (aye-zoo-chee), or what can be loosely translated as “agreement interjections.” This refers to the Japanese custom of regularly and systematically agreeing with or acknowledging other people’s speech by nodding or saying things such as hai (high, meaning “Yes”), sō desu ka? (soh dess kah, meaning “Is that right?”), and ah sō? (ah soh, meaning “Really!”).
These aizuchi interjections are expected and needed by the Japanese. If they are not forthcoming, the speaker knows immediately that something is wrong and that the person to whom they are speaking is angry or disagrees to the extent that he or she is deliberately breaking a sanctified custom. Japanese-speaking foreigners unfamiliar with the importance of aizuchi may send unintended messages if they fail to follow through with the appropriate interjections.
All told, the role of language in Japan’s system of etiquette is central to proper behavior and is the key to getting “inside” the culture. Included in the back of this book are institutionalized Japanese words and phrases pertaining to various situations covered in this guide. By learning when and how to use them, you can greatly improve your ability to communicate successfully with the Japanese.
6
The Use of Names
All family and given names in Japan consist of two or more of the syllables listed at the beginning of this book. When written in kanji, each of the words or syllables in a name has its own ideogram.
Two of the primary characteristics of Japan’s traditional etiquette system were its formality and the important role it played when dealing with officialdom. This gave rise to the custom of restricting the use of given names and instead using last names in a formal manner, even in casual and intimate situations. Even today, this custom is usually followed by adults.
Parents address their children by their first names, and children and young people who are close friends use first names and nicknames among themselves. Teenagers, who generally make their own rules wherever they live, may call one another by abbreviated first names, nicknames, or family names, depending on the nature of their relationships.
Although they may have referred to each other using their first names as children, as people grow older they usually begin to use last names when they address each other. Even today adults who are unrelated habitually call each other by their last names no matter how long they may have been acquaintances or friends.
Nowadays dating couples generally use each other’s first names or, more correctly, diminutives of their first names.
The use of diminutives is in fact common among close friends and family members in Japan, because many Japanese first names consist of two or more syllables that are awkward or bothersome to pronounce. This is especially true of male names, which may be made up of unusual combinations of four to eight syllables. Some common male given names are Nobuyuki, Mutsuo, Mizumoto, Katsuhiko, Takayoshi, and Hirokazu.
Female given names, on the other hand, have traditionally been easier to say and remember. Among the more common names are Mariko, Sachiko, Kimiko, Teruko, and Minako. In recent decades, parents have begun to give their daughters more distinctive names, without the common “ko” at the end, such as Kazue, Miya, Maya, and Fujie.
Diminutives are nonetheless common among family or close friends of both genders. They may be attached to the first syllable or two of first names only along with the word chan (chahn). Adding chan is the Japanese equivalent of changing Robert to Bobbie or Rebecca to Becky.
Here are some examples of common first names and their diminutives:
Kiyoshi—Ki-chan (kee-chahn)
Yasunori—Yasu-chan or Ya-chan (yah-chahn)
Tomoko—Tomo-chan (toe-moe-chahn)
Minoru—Mi-chan (me-chahn)
The word chan may be appended to first names by parents and other adults when speaking to children, and by children when speaking to their parents, grandparents, older brothers and sisters, and others who are close to them, including friends their own age. As a foreigner in Japan, you may address babies and young children using their first names and the word chan.
Diminutives for referring to people by their titles also make use of chan, as in the following examples.
Father—O-Tō-chan (Oh-toh-chahn)
Mother—O-Kā-chan (Oh-kaah-chahn)
Grandmother—O-Bā-chan (Oh-baah-chahn)
Grandfather—O-Jii-chan (Oh-jeee-chahn)
Titles have historically been important replacements for first names, even in marital relationships. In the past Japanese husbands called their wives o-mae (oh-my)