Double Click. Lisa Becker
From: Shelley Manning – May 21, 2012 – 10:14 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: What can I do?
Feeling good about everything? I know you are totally organized, but still, this is a big deal. Anything I can do to help?
From: Renee Greene – May 21, 2012 – 10:18 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: What can I do?
You are so sweet to offer. But I think everything is under control. Just excited for all of the festivities. I’ll see you at the hotel on Friday.
From: Shelley Manning – May 21, 2012 – 10:20 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: What can I do?
Sounds great, Sweetie. Mwah! Mwah!
From: PBCupLover – May 23, 2012 – 2:46 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Miss You/Love You
Hey Babe. I know it’s been a stressful few months and this week is getting even crazier. Just want you to know how much I love you and miss seeing so much of you. (And no, that’s not a comment about your size. I’m learning your little self-deprecating tricks!) I hope that once all of this wedding business is done, we can enjoy some time together.
From: Renee Greene – May 23, 2012 – 2:59 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Miss You/Love You
Yes, I agree, my little padawan (I’m using language I know you’ll get). But seriously, I’ve been starving myself to fit into that dress, so I know I’m looking svelte.
I do miss you, too. This wedding certainly is cramping my style a bit. And honestly, I couldn’t say that to anyone but you. Between the planning and your new job, it does seem like forever and a day since we’ve had some quality time. But just knowing how much you love me keeps me going. I’ll (hopefully) see you tonight.
XOXO, Me
From: Renee Greene – May 25, 2012 – 9:05 AM
To: <undisclosed recipients>
Subject: Rehearsal Dinner Reminder
Just a quick reminder that the rehearsal begins tonight at 5:00 sharp followed immediately by dinner at Te Quiero.
CHAPTER 2 – *GASP!* SHOT GUN WEDDING
From: Ashley Price – May 27, 2012 – 11:25 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: An April Apology
Thank you again for planning the most beautiful wedding ever. I have no complaints. I know! It’s a first, isn’t it? Even the nausea subsided for a few hours. Seriously, it was wonderful and Greg and I can’t thank you enough. I hope you will go enjoy yourself tomorrow.
On a separate note…fill me in! I saw you and April having an intense conversation at the wedding. What was THAT all about?
From: Renee Greene – May 27, 2012 – 11:45 AM
To: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: An April Apology
Don’t. Stop. Don’t stop! (HA!) Seriously, it was such a pleasure to do this for you, my friend. I’m so happy to see you so happy. I wish nothing but the best for you two.
Regarding April, this is interesting. First off, who knew that Greg’s best friend was engaged to her?!? Next time (not that there is going to be a next time, but you know what I mean) we need people to give me the names of their “plus ones,” so I’m not caught off guard.
She walked over and asked if she could speak to me privately for a moment. I could feel my eyes ready to well up with tears. I honestly felt like I was 9 years old again and she was going to tell me that I wasn’t pretty enough or cool enough to play handball with her.
But instead, she began by apologizing to me for being such a nasty shrew all throughout grade school and high school. Apparently, she has a 4-year-old from a previous marriage and he has a mild form of autism. He’s assimilating well and getting lots of outside therapy help. But it’s enough to make him different from the other kids. And she’s totally fearful that he will be picked on and teased throughout his schooling. She recognized that karma is a bitch.
She went on to tell me that even though she was horrible to me, she always respected me. She relayed some story about how she tattled on Brandi Chauncey for drawing a picture of the teacher that was less than appropriate and all of the girls got mad at her. So they gave her the dreaded “silent treatment.” The only person who would talk to her was me.
She even brought cupcakes in for the class for her birthday. Everyone sang, but when it came to the part in the song to sing, “happy birthday dear April,” they all left the “dear April” out. Then they proceeded to eat the cupcakes. Naturally!
Even though all of the other girls kept pressing me not to talk to her, I did. I let her eat lunch with me for two weeks. And once her silent treatment was over, she went right on being friends with all of those mean girls and also right back to treating me like shit.
I have no recollection of this particular two-week ordeal, although the theme is all too familiar. So she apologized and asked me to forgive her.
What could I say? “No! You suffer, bitch!” HA! I said something along the lines of, “thank you for your sincere apology, consider us cool, and best of luck with your son.”
It was surreal. I must confess, my brain has entertained the occasional revenge fantasy when it comes to her. But honestly, it was a long time ago, and she was sincere, and now it’s just time to let it go.
And thank you again for the spa gift certificate. I can’t wait to have a day to pamper myself. I only wish you could join me. But I know you are off to an island paradise. Even though you can’t booze it up, I hope you’ll still find something to drink that involves a colorful umbrella and a spear of fruit.
From: Ashley Price – May 27, 2012 – 12:23 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: An April Apology
Really?!? You are a bigger woman than I am. (And no, that’s not some joke about your weight.) Honestly, you looked really good in the dress that I picked out. I would say that it’s something you could wear again. But let’s be real here. I know that’s not the case. Thanks for wearing what I wanted you to wear, and wearing your hair up. Again, you looked great.
Oh, don’t you worry about me celebrating. While a cocktail is out of the question, there are definitely plenty of yummy, fruity things that I can imbibe. Just keep the chicken away from me. For some reason, I’ve started this insane aversion to poultry.
From: Renee Greene – May 27, 2012 – 12:25 PM
To: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: An April Apology
A poultry aversion? Is that normal for pregnant women?
From: Ashley Price – May 27, 2012 – 12:53 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: An April Apology
Oh, who knows!?! I’ve read the books, and everything and anything seems to be possible. And when I’ve talked to the doctor about any weird aches and pains I’m starting to get, he says, “Oh, that’s normal.” It’s really starting to anger me. Then I figured that anger is probably a side effect of pregnancy, too.