Double Click. Lisa Becker
friends
Now that she’s met us, she’s not jealous. What the hell does that mean? And WTF are h’s and k’s? And why is everything lowercase? Clearly she knows how to use the “shift” key because she made an ampersand. Does she not realize she can use it to capitalize letters too? UGH! This girl has a short shelf life!
From: Renee Greene – June 4, 2012 – 10:52 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
I’m sure she didn’t mean it the way you’re interpreting it. She’s probably just complimenting us for being super nice and supportive of Mark. And I think that’s short for “Hugs and Kisses.” As far as the ampersand comment, I can’t believe you know what an ampersand is. No offense.
From: Shelley Manning – June 4, 2012 – 11:05 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
No offense taken. I may not have graduated magna cum laude like some smarty pants that I know (read: YOU!), but I’m still smart. And I managed to graduate magna come loudly. (Hell, I’m smart and funny!)
I’ll give her some h’s and k’s for hits and kicks. Trying to horn in on our Mel’s lunches? Who does she think she is?
From: Renee Greene – June 4, 2012 – 11:07 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
LOL! That is brilliant!
Regarding Cassidy, I’m sure she’s just trying to get to know us better.
From: Shelley Manning – June 4, 2012 – 11:09 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
Ugh! She bugs, big time!
From: Renee Greene – June 4, 2012 – 11:11 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
Well, for Mark’s sake, we should make the effort. He’s already told me he sees a future with her.
From: Shelley Manning – June 4, 2012 – 11:19 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
I’m going to be in Seattle next week. So why don’t you and Ashley have lunch with her and report back to me. Even if I were in town, I have ZERO interest in this dingbat. Trust me, I can mock and judge her from afar. We need to “except” her? (See, mocking and judging already!) I’m surprised you didn’t notice that shit right away.
From: Renee Greene – June 4, 2012 – 11:25 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
Seattle again? Isn’t that like 4 trips in 4 months? Well, I did notice her grammatical transgression, but I’m trying to be supportive of Mark. He really likes this girl and she seems sweet. Even if I find that I don’t like her, I need to like her. I feel like my hands are tied.
Shel, I know you are not going to like what I’m about to say, but I’m going to say it anyway. Do you think it’s possible you don’t like Cassidy because you have feelings for Mark?
From: Shelley Manning – June 4, 2012 – 11:27 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
Hands tied? Sounds kinky. But Renee, I don’t have feelings for Finlay. I just don’t like her.
From: Renee Greene – June 4, 2012 – 11:28 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
“The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” (Queen Gertrude)
From: Shelley Manning – June 4, 2012 – 11:31 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
Huh? English, please. Remember, unlike you, I didn’t study literature in college.
From: Renee Greene – June 4, 2012 – 11:36 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
English? That’s Shakespeare…from Hamlet. It doesn’t get more English than that! But I digress. What I’m trying to say is that sometimes when a person protests too much about not having feelings for someone, they are in fact really attracted to them. You see it in the movies all the time. If it’s in a “rom com,” as you call them, then heck, it must be true. ;)
From: Shelley Manning – June 4, 2012 – 11:38 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
Renee, trust me. I don’t have feelings for Finlay.
From: Renee Greene – June 4, 2012 – 11:42 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
I hear what you are saying, but perhaps you don’t even want to admit to yourself that you care about him as more than a friend.
From: Shelley Manning – June 4, 2012 – 11:43 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
I hereby admit to myself and to you: I DON’T have feelings for Finlay. Got it?!?
From: Renee Greene – June 4, 2012 – 11:44 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
Okay, okay. I get it. Drinks tomorrow at Flint’s…are we still on?
From: Shelley Manning – June 4, 2012 – 11:47 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
I don’t think I can make it. I’ve got a lot to do before my trip. Let’s reschedule. I gotta go.
From: Renee Greene – June 4, 2012 – 11:48 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: lets be friends
Okay. I’ll talk with you later.
From: Renee Greene – June 4, 2012 – 11:58 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: In the dog house
Yikes! I think I just really pissed Shel off. We got an email from Cassidy and Shel was going on and on that she can’t stand her and I suggested that maybe she has feelings for Mark. She kind of blew up at me.
She hasn’t really talked at all about hooking up with anyone recently. And believe me, she used to talk about it a lot. Eesh! Is that weird for you…that she used to talk about her hook-ups…and that you were one of her hook-ups? It feels a little weird for me.
From: PBCupLover – June 4, 2012 – 12:54 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: In the dog house
Boy, when I read the subject line, I thought I had screwed something up, like forgetting an anniversary of