Double Click. Lisa Becker

Double Click - Lisa Becker


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she didn’t just order a salad. She said it like she was meditating and this was her mantra. “I’ll just have a salad. I’ll just have a salad. Ohhhm.” It was weird.

      Next, she talked nonstop about how she believes homeopathic remedies can cure everything from pimples to cancer.

      Oh, and here’s the kicker. She has four cats. Their names are Samantha, Carrie, Miranda and – you guessed it – Charlotte. You would have DIED!

      From: Ashley Price – June 12, 2012 – 8:59 PM

      To: Renee Greene

      Cc: Shelley Manning

      Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon

      Wow! She sounds…interesting. Kind of sorry I missed that train wreck. But I’m sure Mark thinks the cat names are clever. As long as he’s happy, right?

      From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 9:15 AM

      To: Ashley Price

      Cc: Renee Greene

      Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon

      I’m about to piss my pants I’m laughing so hard! She sounds as awful as I knew she would be. Yes, I’m thrilled that I’m out of town. But I love hearing the stories. So are you going to tell Mark to give her the ol’ heave-ho?

      From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 11:12 AM

      To: Shelley Manning

      Cc: Ashley Price

      Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon

      No. I’m not. Mark really likes her and it’s been forever and a day since he’s been in a relationship where he’s happy. I say, to each his own. If he wants to date a cat-loving, salad-eating, holiopathic (that’s someone who takes a holier-than-thou attitude toward the homeopathic – like it?) girl, then so be it.

      From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 11:15 AM

      To: Renee Greene

      Cc: Ashley Price

      Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon

      Holiopathic? Hilarithetic! (Something so pathetic, it’s hilarious.)

      From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 11:15 AM

      To: Shelley Manning

      Cc: Ashley Price

      Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon

      Hilarithetic? Me or her?

      From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 11:16 AM

      To: Renee Greene

      Cc: Ashley Price

      Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon

      Her, Sweetie, her!

      From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 11:17 AM

      To: Shelley Manning

      Cc: Ashley Price

      Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon

      Whew! Love it!

      From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 11:18 AM

      To: Renee Greene

      Cc: Ashley Price

      Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon

      Love it right back atcha, sister!

      From: cassidy – June 13, 2012 – 3:02 PM

      To: Renee Greene

      Subject: fun!

      it was fun having lunch yesterday. we should do it again soon.

      h’s & k’s,

      cassidy

      From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 3:04 PM

      To: cassidy

      Bcc: Shelley Manning

      Subject: Re: fun!

      It was fun, Cassidy. Thanks for asking me out. Yes, we will have to do it again.

      From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 4:02 PM

      To: Renee Greene

      Subject: Re: fun!

      You will “have to” do it again. Do you mean you won’t be able to stop yourself from spending more time with her, or you will be compelled to spend time with her out of duty and loyalty to Finlay? My bet is on the latter.

      From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 4:04 PM

      To: Shelley Manning

      Subject: Re: fun!

      LOL! Okay, seriously, behave! Mark likes her so we need to like her, too.

      From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 4:08 PM

      To: Renee Greene

      Subject: Re: fun!

      So I was right. It is the latter.

      From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 4:09 PM

      To: Shelley Manning

      Subject: Re: fun!

      A little of both, okay? So be nice.

      From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 4:09 PM

      To: Renee Greene

      Subject: Re: fun!

      You’re no fun. Or, as Cassidy would say, “your no fun.”

      From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 4:10 PM

      To: Shelley Manning

      Subject: Re: fun!

      Again, LOL! And behave!

      From: cassidy – June 16, 2012 – 1:13 PM

      To: <undisclosed recipients>

      Subject: Fwd: Cats on Parade!

      super cute video. enjoy!

      h’s & k’s,

      cassidy

      From: Ashley Gordon – June 16, 2012 – 2:22 PM

      To: <undisclosed recipients>

      Subject: Email address change

      Please note that I have a new email address. It’s the same as before, but Ashley Gordon instead of Ashley Price. Please be sure to add it to your address book. Thank you.

      From: Shelley Manning – June 16, 2012 – 3:56 PM

      To: Renee Greene

      Subject: Fwd: Fwd: Cats on Parade!

      WTF?!? I just read something on Facebook about how even the calendar says WTF after Tuesday. HA-LARIOUS! Seriously, the calendar must have been copied on this insipid video about cats. So, again WTF?!?

      From: Renee Greene – June 16, 2012 – 4:06 PM

      To: Shelley Manning

      Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Cats on Parade!

      That’s actually quite clever. Me like!

      And insipid? Fancy word. Me like this too!

      Honestly, I find these things to be creepy and useless. But apparently she loves cats. Easy enough to delete and move on.

      From: Shelley Manning – June 16, 2012 – 4:08 PM

      To: Renee Greene

      Subject:


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