The Lighter Side of Breast Cancer Recovery: Lessons Learned Along the Path to Healing. Tammy Inc. Miller
of 20 very important lessons I learned along the path to recovery. I will look at each of these lessons in greater detail as we progress through the book.
These are lessons I believe anyone can use, whether you are facing breast cancer, other cancers, illnesses, or any other challenge that life throws at us. These lessons serve as a reminder that we have choices in how we deal with whatever comes our way. I believe in many cases that we feel like we have lost control, but if we realize that we can make a choice, it can be the difference between just surviving... and thriving in any given situation.
I prefer to call these “lessons”, as this journey was a journey of learning. I learned about myself. I learned about others. And, I learned, most importantly, that I could play a major role in the tone of my own recovery. I ask that you walk with me down my path to recovery, and embrace these lessons and make them your own.
Lesson One – Don’t put off your yearly exams. Make the call– schedule the appointment.
Lesson Two – Trust your own instincts.
Lesson Three – Keep a record of everything that is happening.
Lesson Four – Develop a personal mantra to replace negative thoughts.
Lesson Five – Recruit your personal Humor Team! (No cost involved!)
Lesson Six – Be prepared to put up your own personal shield of protection.
Lesson Seven – Start and keep a “Recovery File”.
Lesson Eight – Find love and laughter everywhere.
Lesson Nine – Tell your closest family and friends of your diagnosis in person.
Lesson Ten – Be informed!
Lesson Eleven – Remain positive in every single way that you can – no matter how small.
Lesson Twelve – Write down the questions that you want to ask.
Lesson Thirteen – Look for the smallest blessings in each day.
Lesson Fourteen – Know that you have choices.
Lesson Fifteen – Remember, you are a unique person!
Lesson Sixteen – Celebrate the smallest victories.
Lesson Seventeen – Accept that there are some things in life we cannot change.
Lesson Eighteen – Keep your doctors and health care providers accountable.
Lesson Nineteen – Thank your healthcare providers.
Lesson Twenty – Live life to the fullest!
A Quick Reference for the “Cast of Characters”
Since I refer to the doctors in this story by the first letter of their last name, I will provide you with a “key” to the names for quick reference:
Dr. G – Initially read the mammogram at the Breast Care Center and detected a possible problem; advised against a needle biopsy for certainty; performed the pre-surgery procedures
Dr. B – My surgeon for the first two surgeries and my follow-up cancer doctor
Dr. M – The Anesthesiologist who performed the pre-surgery procedure
Dr. V – The Anesthesiologist in the operating room
Dr. W – The Oncology doctor
Dr. C – The OB-GYN doctor who performed the hysterectomy
Dr. D – The Radiation/Oncology doctor
Introduction
“Sometimes the only sense we can make out of life is a sense of humor.” — Unknown author
I can hardly believe that it has been over eleven years since I have been diagnosed and you are holding in your hands, or your electronic reader, or phone, the third edition of this book! (Hard to believe, but eleven years ago, the e-readers and phones weren’t even an option!)
The goal of this publication is two-fold. The first purpose is to help other people who may have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer, are recovering from breast cancer, or have a family member or friend facing the challenges that a breast cancer diagnosis can bring to their lives. The second purpose is to serve as a personal reminder of my experiences, and the wonders and beauty of life. If you gain nothing else from this book, and I certainly hope this is not the case, I want the message to be clear that sometimes we cannot change the situation, or in this case, we cannot change the diagnosis, but we have control over how we respond!
Breast cancer is certainly no laughing matter. In fact, I have chosen the lighter side not in any way, shape or form because I do not take breast cancer seriously, but quite the contrary. I have chosen to look at the lighter side because it IS so serious. This whole journey has forced me to reflect upon my life – past, present and future, and it puts a whole new spin on the idea that sometimes the only sense we can make out of life is a sense of humor.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 42, I was a professional clown, a motivational speaker and workshop presenter, and I had recently started my own company. I also worked as a trainer at a large university with over 18 years of training experience. In many of my presentations, I help people understand the value of a positive attitude and how we can use humor to deflect some of the most difficult situations. When I was diagnosed, I knew that it was time to put my own words into action and look at how I was personally going to deal with the situation. I may have been a trained clown, but I know that you don’t need to be a clown – or even have a great sense of humor – to take positive steps, sometimes very small steps, that make a significant difference in how you respond to life and those around you. In this particular case, I further discovered that your recovery and quality of life can, in a large part, be determined by how you CHOOSE to embrace the situation.
Since I do a lot of presentations, I always say that everything in my life is simply speech material. I pull from personal experiences to make my presentations stronger. Prior to my diagnosis, I certainly felt that I had ample material from which to draw. However, God had another plan. In later chapters, I discuss how I have come to a better understanding of this “wrinkle on the road”, and again realize that for everything in life there is a reason.
In dealing with my own breast cancer, I learned that there CAN be a Lighter Side to Breast Cancer Recovery, and it can be an important coping tool that lifts your spirits, builds your body, and keeps you going in even the toughest of times.
This book is not intended to be a technical reference manual to breast cancer, there are a lot of good books that serve this purpose, many of which I note in the Reference Section. Instead, this book is designed to be a story of one woman’s journey (mine), and a look at one method to cope and recover from what can be a devastating diagnosis. Although there are a few technical parts, the story as a whole is intended to be more of a celebration of life, and to offer a very real addition to recovery.
I wrote this book to share the many lessons that I learned with other women who may be recovering from breast cancer, but many of the lessons can also be applied to surviving other challenges in life. It is also my hope that not only can the individual affected be lifted by this information, but also her or his family members and friends.
There are some parts of this book that are a little graphic in nature and may be offensive to some. This is certainly not the intention, but in telling this story, I felt it necessary to offer a more thorough description of events as they transpired. I would like to thank all of the special people who read this material as it was growing into a real book. I hope with more than one set of eyes, we were able to correct the most blatant of grammar and spelling errors. In the event we missed any, I do apologize to you as the reader.
Throughout this book, I have included sections relating to “questions to ask” and positive thoughts and words. You may or may not find this information helpful, but I have tried to look for the brighter side in everything that was happening in my life. Sometimes it was very easy to see this side, especially when I