The Lighter Side of Breast Cancer Recovery: Lessons Learned Along the Path to Healing. Tammy Inc. Miller
“inny” over the past year, he expressed his concern that we might be looking at a small cancer under the nipple that was pulling it in. Okay, okay, he now had my full attention and I had passed the threshold from a casual observer to an actively involved concerned participant. (I did not know at the time that this is one of the possible red flags of breast cancer. I have added some other possible red flags in the section at the back of this book for your reference.)
He said the results would go to Dr. B’s office and I should make an appointment to see him as soon as possible. There was a little bit of trouble going through the telephone tangle maze, but hey, we all deal with the “Press One or Two or Three or Forty-five syndrome!” After finally getting that taken care of I had the necessary appointment with Dr. B for five days later.
The “Pinkie Swear”
When I went back to work after the ultrasound and realized that things may be changing in my life, I stopped to see one of my best friends and made her take a “pinky swear”. If any of you out there don’t know what that is, let me explain. You curl your little pinky with another person’s pinky and make a “swear” about something. Does this sound juvenile to you? Yes, it is something from grade school, but for me it was a visual reminder of the support I was asking for from her. The “pinky swear” pact that we made was that if this turned out to be something bad, she had to swear to me that there would be no pity, and she would do her very best to keep me laughing throughout the coming months.
This tiny gesture served as a wonderful reminder to both of us over the next few days that if it was a “biggie” diagnosis, we both understood that we couldn’t change it and I really, really needed her there for support, positive encouragement, and laughter.
The time between Thursday and Tuesday was spent thinking, reflecting, and talking, but most importantly, WRITING down the questions I wanted to ask during my upcoming appointment with Dr. B. Writing down the questions is one area where I cannot emphasize the importance enough (see Lesson 12). I personally found a lot of information available on the internet. With this situation, and many others, there is a ton of information out there that you have to sift through to find out what has merit.
If you are dealing with a similar situation and do not have computer access, you can always visit the library or ask someone to assist you with this research. No matter what level of knowledge you are coming in at, you owe it to yourself to be an informed patient. This knowledge will help you to not only understand what is happening in your body, but also what the doctors are telling you, and most importantly, as we will discuss in much greater detail later, being informed allows you to make your own decisions.
As you may know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness month across the nation. It seemed that everywhere I went there were pink ribbons and posters about breast cancer awareness. Trust me; at this point I was VERY aware of breast cancer, yet so thankful for that awareness as I believe it did indeed save my life!! If I had not pushed to have the tests done, the outcome could have been completely different, and you may not have had the opportunity to read this fascinating (tee-hee) book!
Remember, don’t put off your yearly exams - make the call and schedule the appointments. And, trust your own instincts. No one knows your body as well as you do. If something doesn’t seem right - check it out and be persistent!
Lesson Two - Trust your own instincts. You know your body better than anyone else. If you think something is wrong, check it out with more than one source, and continue checking until you are sure of the results. When in doubt, check it out, again and again if necessary, with multiple sources.
Chapter Two
Meeting With Dr. B
“The bridge to success is never crossed alone.” — Unknown Author
When I arrived at Dr. B’s place I was taken to the examination room and tried to ready myself for his exam. The room was very, very cold. I live in Pennsylvania and there was a seasonal Pennsylvania weather change going on outside, and the battle of the heat vs. air conditioner was in full swing.
When Dr. B (another really good looking guy, so maybe this wasn’t going to be TOO bad!) arrived, I told him that if he wanted to see the difference in my breasts, and the “inny”, he sure chose the wrong room. Even the “inny” was now standing at full attention from the cold! This seemed to break any possible ice (almost literally) that was in the room and the exam got started in the right direction. As it turned out, I didn’t have to worry about that as Dr. B made me feel very comfortable from the beginning.
Dr. B did the usual exam and started with his questions. He asked what I had already been told by the doctor at the Breast Care Center. After I told him about the experience with Dr. G, he seemed pleased and said that all of the information I was told was correct. I liked the fact that he asked me what I had already been told so we didn’t have to cover that ground twice.
I then started with my own list of questions. (There is a sample suggested list for your use in a later chapter, in case you really aren’t sure what to ask.) He patiently listened and responded to each and every one of the questions, no matter how complex or simple. This gave me a sense of empowerment and by allowing and responding to this exchange, he helped form a sense of partnership in my recovery. I was taking an active role in what was happening. I never once felt rushed by this man, and that is so important to building confidence in your doctor.
He told me that he wanted to do a surgical biopsy as soon as possible and he would most likely know on that day what we were dealing with. He explained exactly what he would be doing with the procedure in detail, even going so far as to draw a picture on a flipchart hanging in the exam room. I was as prepared as possible and we ended the first of our many meetings.
From this initial consultation, he also gave me a very important piece of advice. He said that I most likely would not remember everything he was going to say, so along with someone to take me home, make sure I brought a tape recorder and/or a camcorder to record the conversation. I chose the camcorder and I am so glad that I did. If you don’t own one, borrow or rent one. A lot of people have them and they are rather inexpensive to rent. (He was right. Although I was awake after the biopsy, it turned out to be a great reference when I was trying to remember exactly what he had said.)
We concluded by setting up an outpatient appointment for the biopsy about two weeks later. This was all happening too quickly for my mind to comprehend! I do workshops and training, and I had been scheduled to present on the subject of managing interruptions in your life. WOW! I had just been handed what could and ultimately did result in a major interruption in my life! I called to have another instructor take my place on the day of my biopsy and I went home to think, and tried not to worry about the upcoming procedure.
Each person deals with this type of news in her/his own way. For me, I knew I could not change what was going on inside of Inny (yes, I might as well capitalize it, as I came to call it by this name of affection). So, I asked Dr. B to give me the information I needed and help me to make the right decisions. (I emphasize “help me to make” because I was ultimately making the decisions. You do have choices in your decisions - you could choose to do nothing, but ultimately, the decisions you make are your own.) On this he promised, and that helped build the important trust I was gaining in his attitude. I was praying that his skills matched his attitude, patience, and bedside manner.
Lesson Three – Keep a record of what is happening. One of the most important pieces of advice I was given came from my doctor (Dr. B). He told me to bring a tape recorder or a camcorder, if available, especially when I had surgery. When you come out from under the sedation, your mind isn’t always clear. I chose a camcorder, and it worked great! There are so many questions, new terms used, and decisions to