Senior Year, '94. Megan B. March

      I still had my bra and panties on, which gave me hope, but that diminished after I poked Nate awake and hastily asked in a whisper if we had slept together. Nate didn’t answer right away and carefully regarded me as if he was thinking it through, then confirmed that we had. With tears in my eyes I told him that I thought he was Jensen. “How could you have taken advantage of me like that?” I wanted to know, and he easily replied that I had asked him to stay. That was true, but only because I was sure it was Jensen whom I was inviting to stay with me. “And what about Aria? What are you going to tell her?” I practically spit the words out.

      Nate sat up so quickly that the blanket covering the lower half of him swiftly moved and fell to the side. My eyes impulsively shot to where the blanket had been and I almost felt relief when I saw he was still in his boxers. In no uncertain terms he let me know that I’d better not tell her or he’d deny the whole thing, reminding me that I was so drunk no one would believe anything I said. The two of us exchanged more words that were not so nice, and pointing toward the door I told him to leave. Nate looked me in the eye and in a not-so-polite fashion reminded me that he drove me to the house in my truck, leaving his car at the party. He quickly disappeared into the bathroom and slammed the door.

      Getting up off the bed, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt I had draped over the side of my laundry basket, a sign to remind me I could wear a set of clothes again before washing them. Just as I pulled the sweatshirt down around my jeans, the bathroom door opened and Nate stepped out without a word. He proceeded to furiously pull his clothes on while I went into the bathroom to try and pull myself together. Looking in the mirror at my pale, ragged face, I gathered my hair back into a simple ponytail and splashed cold water on my eyes. Small streams of water flowed down my cheeks, but I could barely feel them. Next, I brushed my teeth to get the horrible taste out of my mouth and ran a wet washcloth over my face and neck. Leaving the bathroom, I found Nate standing in the living room by the front window, staring out with his arms crossed.

      “Where are my keys?” I reluctantly asked him after doing a quick sweep of the living room. “And my wallet?”

      “Here,” he said, throwing my keys to me that were in his hand the whole time. I caught them in mid-air, but not without the jagged key poking my hand and cutting it slightly. Looking down, I saw a tiny amount of blood and automatically rose my hand to my mouth and sucked the little bit of blood away before going to the kitchen to get an aspirin. My head was pounding hard and I knew it wouldn’t go away on its own.

      “What are you doing?” Nate impatiently asked when I tugged at the plastic lid of the aspirin bottle with my teeth.

      “My head is killing me,” I explained, dropping two tablets into my hand and pulling out a glass to fill with water. My whole body felt like a dried sponge. Tossing the aspirin back quickly, I downed the full glass of water and felt a little bit better, good enough to drive Nate back to the party where he’d parked his vehicle the night before for the party

      Not saying a word, Nate followed me out to my truck in the frigid cold. The truck’s engine easily started and I put the heater on full-bore before getting out to scrape ice off the windows. Nate didn’t offer to help and just angrily stewed inside the cab of the truck, staring out the window at nothing in particular until I finished up and climbed into the cab, which by that time was pleasantly warm. For a second he glanced my way and then back out at the snowy landscape.

      Making a move to open my glove compartment, I reached across Nate who stiffened and pulled further away, obviously mistaking my movement as a way of trying to touch him.

      “I wasn’t going to touch you, Nate,” I grumbled, annoyed at his childish behavior. “I just want to check my glove compartment for my wallet.”

      “Well, then do it!” he growled. Nate sounded very irritated, but at this point I didn’t care.

      Opening the glove box and ruffling around inside, I quickly found my wallet tucked behind the owner’s manual before shutting the compartment and then putting my truck in gear to back out of the driveway. Carefully I navigated the icy streets, and when it was time to pull onto the freeway I realized I didn’t know where I was going.

      “You’ll have to give me directions,” I said to Nate who was still not looking my way. “I can’t remember where that place was.”

      Nate snorted and then gruffly gave me the directions. I was glad it only took about ten minutes to get there, although it felt like ten minutes too long. Once I rolled to a stop in back of his car, Nate was out the door without so much as a ‘goodbye’ or ‘thanks for the ride.’

      “Hey, wait a second,” I called out to Nate who looked at me with a flash of hope on his face. It was the first time he’d looked at me since I had told him our little encounter was a mistake. “Please tell me we used some kind of protection ... like a condom,” I gulped.

      Narrowing his gaze at me, Nate growled and said, “I’m not fucking stupid! Since this whole shit with Aria I’ve gotten a whole lot smarter!” He slammed the door shut, but not before yelling, “Jesus Christ, Mia!”

      It had been a sensible question, but his response was uncalled for. I thought of pregnant Aria and a pang of guilt instantly hit me. Angry at Nate and what we’d done, I hit the gas, spinning the tires on the ice and letting out a little squeal on a piece of bare pavement. If nothing else, I thought it might show him how I felt. Before long I loosened my tight grip on the steering wheel.