Senior Year, '94. Megan B. March
his mouth. He looked comical. “So, what’s new, Adams?” He took a drag as I sighed.
“Other than I’m skipping zero-hour to avoid someone?” I was comfortable in his presence and needed to tell someone what had happened; someone who was not close to the situation like Krissa or Alicia.
Suddenly concerned, Jibby raised an interested eyebrow at me. “What’s going on?”
Feeling tears in my eyes, I sighed again more heavily. “I fucked up, that’s what’s going on.” Tears began sliding down my face and Jibby put his arm around me in a friendly way, holding me close.
“What? Tell me.”
I took another drag and spilled my guts to him right there in the auto shop parking lot while skipping zero-hour that cold winter morning.
“So that’s what happened after you left with Nate? I should never have encouraged you to do all those shots or given you that Zima,” he said after a minute of letting it all sink in.
“I’m a big girl, I could have made different decisions,” I argued, sticking the cigarette butt in a pile of snow in the bed of his truck and liking the soft hiss it made as it extinguished. We sat there and watched as more cars drove in and parked.
“What time is it?” I asked, not bothering to look at my own watch. I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know.
“Seven-thirty. We still have time to kill.”
“Can I have another one?”
“Sure.” Jibby dug into his pocket for the pack and the lighter. He held it out to me, but didn’t let it go when I grabbed it. “Wait, this isn’t like the alcohol, is it? I’m not responsible if you get hooked?”
“No, Jibby, I’m old enough to make my own decisions and right now I need this.”
Reluctantly he let it go and I took out a slender cigarette and lit it. Handing the pack and lighter back to him, I took a long drag and stifled a cough.
“Easy there, Adams. Although I will admit that was better than the first time,” he smirked. “So, did you get your grades over break?”
Of course I had, but for some reason it didn’t put me in a better mood. Doing double-duty with subject requirements and additional work, I had actually pulled mostly A’s with one B in French II. That should have made my year, but it was overshadowed by everything else going on.
“I did fine,” I answered, taking a drag. “You?”
“Straight A’s. I know, I know, I’m a nerd.” Jibby rolled his eyes as his cigarette stuck out the side of his mouth, causing his lips to form around it in a sort of sneer. The move was slightly laughable, but I wasn’t in the mood.
“Mia! Mia!” I turned to see Alicia waving frantically at me from across the parking lot. Fuck! She’s coming over here!
“Shit, Jibby, take this.” I thrust the cigarette at him and he popped it in his mouth. “Do I smell like I was smoking?”
“Oh, probably.” He rolled his eyes. “Gum works best in this situation.”
I searched my pockets. Of course I had gum. Gum was my M.O. I quickly pulled out two pieces and stuck them in my mouth, deciding that the cigarette smoke on my clothes and hair could be explained by my proximity to Jibby.
“See you, thanks for the talk. Please don’t tell anyone what I told you, okay? Alicia doesn’t even know.”
Jibby mimed a lock and key by his mouth with the cigarette still hanging out the side. Turning away, I focused in on Alicia who was making her way over. She slowed a little when she recognized it was Jibby with me, so I told him I’d be back in just a minute and took off to meet her. The two of them had secretly dated last year, but I had no idea why they kept it on the down-low. I still need to figure that one out. When I got over to where she was, Alicia grabbed my arm, her brow furrowed in what looked like anger. It was so unlike her.
“What are you doing with Jibby?” she chastised. “Great, you smell like smoke because of him.”
Good, she had no clue I had been smoking. “We have class together and the guy’s a good listener.” I shrugged.
Alicia spiked her eyebrow at me and seemed to be sizing me up. “Well, in case you care, my brother is a total mess.” She sounded even more irritable and I thought it best to shout over to Jibby that I’d see him later in class. He held up his hand and gave me a wave.
“I do care,” I pointed out to Alicia, “but he hasn’t called.” It was my turn to point an eyebrow.
“You can call him, you know … and me,” she added quietly, stuffing her hands into her long, cream overcoat with big, black buttons that seemed more appropriate for the runway instead of winter.
Oh! I hurt her feelings by not calling her. Not my intention. I put my arm on Alicia’s shoulder and steered her toward the building. “I’m sorry. I just needed to get out of Arizona and have some time alone. With all that Savannah shit going on I felt like I was suffocating.”
Alicia became quiet, which wasn’t normal for her.
“Have you talked to Jensen?” I asked.
Alicia looked at me and shrugged. “I did, but he hasn’t called me back. Did you guys break up or something? You’re not wearing your ring.”
I glanced down at my hand and quickly slipped it into my coat pocket.
“You can tell me, you know.” Alicia’s hurt feelings seemed to have been forgotten.
“No, I don’t think we’ve broken up. Not initially, anyway. I did give him the ring back, but it was only so he could think about what he wanted to do about the Savannah situation. I didn’t want him to make a decision being formally engaged to me.”
Alicia sighed and rolled her eyes at me. “That’s bullshit, Mia. Sorry, but I’m just calling you out like a good future sister-in-law would do. It’s also a major cop out. Don’t you think that even if you weren’t engaged that he’d still be formally tied to you? He’s in love with you for Christ’s sake!” Alicia was mad, really mad. “I’d think you’d agree that what he feels about you is formal enough. An engagement ring isn’t going to make what he feels for you any different.”
“Point well made, Sister Meyers.”
Taking my arm and linking it with hers, Alicia pulled me along with her up the stairs that led to the overpass and into the school building. “Come on,” she said, “it’s cold out here and I’m freezing my ass off.” I pulled the door open and we walked in, making our way to the English wing along with dozens of other students. Before we parted ways to go to our lockers, Alicia chastised me about skipping class. “By the way, it’s not a good idea to skip zero-hour on your first day as a senior. Alicia pointed at me and narrowed her gaze. “You better not be getting senioritis already.”
“Alright, alright, I get it,” I surrendered, holding my hands up and forcing a smile. I felt a little better, but not much.
Opening the locker, I gathered up the books for my Current Events class, which I had with Alicia. She wanted me to hang out at her locker until the bell rang, but I was sure I’d likely run into Nate and Aria, or even Krissa for that matter. I was hoping I’d be able to hide away in the classroom and avoid them, but I didn’t have a good reason to give Alicia for wanting to dodge the three. Standing by the locker, wishing she’d hurry and searching the faces of the many students coming near, I thought of just taking off on my own when Krissa arrived. Damn! I tried to listen to what she had done and how much fun she had during winter break, and I even did my best to answer questions she asked about my vacation. My answers must have tipped her off that I didn’t really want to talk or something because she finally gave up. Krissa looked like she wanted to ask me if something was wrong, but thankfully she didn’t.
Next, Nate and Aria arrived to the locker area.