Senior Year, '94. Megan B. March
time? For some reason I noted that and not the fact that he said Fallon’s name.
“Yeah, but that’s not the point,” he quickly said.
A lump started to form in my throat. Do I want to hear the rest of this?
“The thing is … we ended up back in her dorm. I don’t really know why I went, but we kissed. That’s it. I stopped it before it went too far because I love you.”
“You kissed her?” I croaked, not sure if I should feel relief that I had not only done the same thing, but more. Wouldn’t we be even? No. What he was saying felt like betrayal, so I could just imagine what he’d feel if I told him what I had done.
“Shit.” I could almost see him running his hands through his hair nervously. “We made out ... touched each other.” He was talking faster than ever. “She took her shirt off and mine came off, too. She was wearing a bra, but I touched her tits. She touched my dick through my pants. That’s it, I swear.”
I remained quiet. Jensen didn’t normally use the words ‘tits’ and ‘dick’ to describe body parts, at least around me, and it caught me off-guard. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing hysterically. I wasn’t sure why it was so funny.
“Say something,” he pushed when I stayed mute.
Searching for something to say, I glanced up and through the window I noticed Aria’s car pulling up in my driveway. She flung the door open and it appeared as if she was already running when her feet hit the ground. She looked angry. “Jensen ... I ... I have to go. Aria’s here and she doesn’t look happy.”
“Mia, wait—” Jensen pleaded as I hung up on him.
After tossing the phone down on the couch, I stood up and took a deep breath. It rang again almost immediately, but I ignored it and started toward to the door to meet Aria outside.
“Mia! You are such a fucking bitch! How could you?” Aria’s hair was wild, she wore no make-up, and she was dressed only in a black and white t-shirt and black leggings. She looked like she’d left the house on a whim.
Nate had definitely told her.
“Does Jensen know you cheated on him with Nate?!”
Aria was seething and all I could do was just look at her. What could I say? She knew the truth and what I said wouldn’t make any difference. Just then I heard the sound of an engine and looked over to see Nate’s car pulling in behind Aria’s. He jumped out almost before it came to a stop. The two of them must have been in bed together because his hair was also mussed up and the jeans he wore were unzipped and his grey t-shirt appeared to be inside-out.
“Aria, don’t do this,” he pleaded. “It was a mistake and she didn’t know what was happening. She was pretty hammered and thought I was Jensen. We didn’t have sex, I swear! We only kissed and slept in the same bed.”
My eyes were wide as I stared at Nate. What the fuck? When I asked him if we’d had sex he had said yes! I dug into my memory of the next day to confirm. Wait ... no ... actually he hadn’t. I asked him if we had slept together. Technically we had and he was telling the truth, but he led me to think we had. Come to think of it, he also never really answered my question about whether or not we used a condom, either.
“She blacked out,” Nate admitted, trying to comfort Aria and pull her into his arms, but she was trying her best to hold him at arm’s length.
“And what if she hadn’t?” Aria screamed. “Would you have gone for a home run and fucked her? Is that it, Nate? What the fuck? How could you?
“I was drunk, too. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. You know I love you.” Nate looked like he was about to cry as he tried pulling her closer to him. Aria tried pulling away and then finally gave up, sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder as he slowly combed her hair with his fingers. Over and over he said how much he loved her, looking at me as he did so.
I pushed the small thought aside about how I was glad I didn’t have close neighbors to witness this shit show in my driveway so I could focus on my own anger at the situation. “How could you lie to me?” I demanded. “And what if I had told Jensen?”
Nate didn’t answer; he only looked away. Aria, who had finally calmed down, tore away from him and pushed herself right up into my face. I held my ground as I stared down at her red and blotchy tearstained face.
“You. Stay. Away. From. Nate,” Aria furiously demanded. “Stay away, got it?!” Her eyes were bulging but instantly narrowed before turning and breezing her way past Nate to get to her car. Sliding inside, she slammed the door closed and gripped the steering wheel while waiting for Nate to move his car. Nate only gave me an incomprehensible look before turning and getting inside his own vehicle, backing out of the driveway, and then disappearing down the road. Aria followed close behind and soon she was gone, too.
What the hell just happened? I went back into the house and immediately saw that the answering machine was blinking the number two. I’d have bet all my money it was Jensen, and when I hit play I heard him asking me to please call him back. He added that he was sorry and that loved me, but at that moment I just couldn’t deal with it. True, I had kissed Nate and we slept in the same bed, but I thought he was Jensen. Jensen didn’t think Fallon was me, or had he? No. No, he didn’t. That would be too much of a coincidence. Immediately I felt sick and went into the bathroom, hurling the oatmeal and last night’s lasagna dinner into the bowl.
2. Turn of Events
Bright and early Sunday morning, my day was interrupted by Nate. Glancing through the slats of the Venetian blinds on the front window as soon as I heard the sound of an engine, I saw his truck drive up and really wanted to pretend like I wasn’t home, but there was no way I’d pull it off with him seeing my truck in the driveway. I reluctantly opened the door to his guilt-ridden face, but I didn’t immediately invite him in.
“Hi. Can I please come in?” He looked like a little boy who had recently been scolded, coming to ask for forgiveness. At least this time he didn’t look so wrinkled and his blue jeans were adequately fastened and I could clearly see the emblem of Tesla on his t-shirt.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” I glared at him with a penetrating look.
“Come on, Mia, I’m an asshole. I’m sorry. I was mad,” he pleaded, leaning his hand on the door jamb.
After another minute of us each trying to stare one another down, I stepped aside and motioned him in with a swift wave of my hand. There obviously wasn’t any way to win this. Maybe letting him in to speak his peace would make him leave. “Fine,” I said. Not the most hospitable way to be, but that’s all he was going to get. I chose to sit on a bar stool while he leaned against the back of the couch.
“Look, I’m sorry about the scene with Aria. After she talked to you at lunch, she wouldn’t let it be and wanted to know why I was being so weird around you. I finally caved.”
“I don’t fucking care about that. You should at least be honest with your girlfriend, even if you’re not going to be with me,” I spat. He flinched and I continued, “You led me to believe we’d had sex. Why? Do you know how much stress I’ve been through trying to figure out how the hell I was going to tell Jensen, my fiancé, about that?”
“You’re not wearing your ring,” he pointed out. “You weren’t wearing it at the party, either.”
I hopped off the stool, angrier than I had been. How could he downplay what happened and try to place the blame on me because I wasn’t wearing Jensen’s ring? “What does that matter?” I yelled. “He and I had to deal with some heavy shit while I was down in Phoenix. So much shit that I put our engagement on hold so he could figure it out. That still doesn’t mean I don’t love him and that I don’t want to marry him! Shit, Nate, what if I had told him we had fucked?” Internally I baulked at my vulgar use of the slang for sex, but I was on a roll. “Don’t you think there would be no coming back