The Digital Charisma. Jina Slova

      CHAPTER 4:

      How to Explain It All to Your Family

      One of the most challenging steps for a leader is helping family members let go of their memories of your past failures.

      In my experiences working with hundreds of students in my "The Royal Charisma" program, I’ve identified significant limitations and beliefs that hinder individuals from embracing their leadership potential.

      Fear.

      Many of you harbor a deep-seated fear of being leaders. This fear often traces back to childhood, where the belief may take root that being a leader means being a bad mother, a bad wife, or a bad husband. There’s an underlying anxiety that if you step into a leadership role, you’ll face judgment—whether regarding your parenting, your relationship with your partner, or even from those closest to you who may feel neglected. This is a powerful and widespread belief.

      Some people have even expressed to me that leaders come across as rude, soulless, and arrogant, seeing only their goals rather than the people around them. There’s a common sentiment that money changes people for the worse. In my work helping individuals build their personal brands, I’ve noticed that when my students begin to experience financial success, they often reflect, “When I have money, I start to believe I can manage everything on my own, without a partner.” This newfound confidence can lead to thoughts like, “Why do I need a companion when I can achieve anything by myself?” These feelings can spark shame; there’s often a contradiction that arises: “I want to be a leader, but I feel ashamed of the thoughts I have.” Despite our best efforts, the opinions of others can exert a heavy influence.

      I frequently receive questions about how to overcome the fear of communicating with others. How does one silence that fear? If I had a magic phrase to instantly dissolve these anxieties, I would share it with you immediately and skip writing this chapter altogether. I’ve grappled with these challenges myself. I’ve faced criticism from loved ones when I dared to pursue my own path rather than succumbing to their expectations.

      What I want to offer you are the practices I’ve developed from my own journey. I firmly believe that the most valuable insights are those born from personal experience, rather than those easily found on the first pages of Google. This is why I lead intensives and programs with such passion—you deserve the depth that comes from authentic experience.

      Even as adults, our parents often monitor our lives, including our activities on social media. This can stifle our leadership aspirations when family members scrutinize and sometimes voice their disapproval of what we share online. If you’ve encountered this, you are certainly not alone. For our parents, we remain their children—the ones they cared for and scolded. When we begin to shine on platforms or share our journeys on social media, it can create confusion for them. They often wish for stability in our lives; for older generations, any change can evoke discomfort and even fear for our safety. They feel it is their duty to protect us, and they will step in with all their might.

      It’s crucial to understand that you may not receive the support you seek from your loved ones as you embark on your leadership journey. You might hear things like: “You can’t do this. You’ve never been capable of such feats. You’ve always been the odd one in the family, the jester. How embarrassing!”

      Keep in mind this fundamental truth: if you follow the advice of your parents without question, you may find yourself repeating their patterns.

      If this is the path you wish to take, consider parental advice with gratitude. However, if you, like many, feel a surge of panic at the thought of living a life similar to your parents, it’s vital not to follow their guidance. Instead, mentally thank them each time they try to steer you down the avenue they believe to be true—acknowledge their energy and send it back to them.

      Visualize collecting their energy into a small sphere and channeling it back to them. They may lack the vitality you possess, and your silent support will be felt, even if unbeknownst to them.

      Change can be challenging, especially with the weight of external influences upon us. Our families, motivated by love, often act to protect us, even when their words come across as harsh. However, as you step into your leadership role and unveil your charisma, your family will begin to see a different version of you. Their perception of you will evolve. If, in the past, you were viewed as weak or in need of care, you will transform into someone they now recognize as strong. The narrative is indeed malleable.

      I have experienced this transformation in my own life. Growing up, I struggled with severe stuttering—a challenge I had to overcome alone, even without the assistance of those who claimed to be experts. My family, too, could not provide the support I needed; I faced this battle alone for nearly a quarter-century. Yet, I persevered and pulled myself from the depths of despair. When I eventually shared my progress with my relatives by showing them videos of me reciting poetry in various languages, their reaction was awe: "God, what a beautiful voice you have!" In that moment, I looked directly into their eyes and confidently responded, "But I have always had a beautiful voice. It’s surprising to hear that now." The people who had known me for so long were taken aback, not by pity, but by genuine astonishment.

      Time is non-linear—it spirals through past, present, and future. I returned to that pivotal moment and reshaped my past.

      The past can indeed be altered. Your relatives will come to see you as the person who can uplift and transform your entire family. You will become the beacon of hope for your clan, and unlike the burdens of expectation, this is a different kind of energy. It’s crucial for me to help you navigate this moment with your family, as I have walked this path myself. I confronted fears and faced criticism from loved ones, but I remained steadfast. My goals and dreams guided me, and the echoes of my past did not deter my focus. We change continually; our bodies undergo a complete renewal every seven years.

      Some people even choose to distance themselves from social media when their parents create profiles to monitor their activities. This is undoubtedly an attempt to keep tabs. We cannot block everyone from our digital lives; instead, we must learn to cope with it. Those who seek connection will always find a way. I want to guide you on how to remain unaffected by this scrutiny.

      Over the years, I have distilled this knowledge to share with you in this volume. Our communication is of utmost importance to me, and I am committed to imparting the insights I’ve gained.

      Your leadership journey is already set in motion.

      Your initial situation is not as challenging as mine. You are effectively undergoing a remarkable transformation and achieving impressive results. I am in the process of building my books and courses into a self-sustaining ecosystem. Some may find it fantastic. As early as 2017, my clients participated in my courses and programs, where I focused solely on the technical aspects of social media promotion, without delving into branding or charisma, or the other enriching insights I share with you now. Recently, many clients have reached out to tell me that everything I shared with them has come to fruition. I wasn’t