Montegue Blister’s Strange Games: and other odd things to do with your time. Alan Down
face. If they manage a successful strike they gain a point, retrieve the ball and throw again. If they miss, it’s their opponent’s turn. Target players may not move to avoid the ball but must remain still whilst the other throws. Points accumulate with each strike over a set number of rounds.
An alternative version of Faceball exists which is more of a cross between Faceball and Wallhooky (see page 44). Simply get a soft ball and attach some string to it, a little like the string and ball part of a Swingball set, and fix it to the ceiling. The height should be adjusted so that when the string is at about 60 degrees to the vertical the ball will be at the competitors face height. Two players now stand either side of the dangling ball and set it swinging in a circular motion. They then take it in turns to flap at the ball with their hand, when it is closest to them, so that if they make contact it swings and strikes their opponent in the face. Simple. The most scores, out of ten attempts, wins.
House Gymnastics
Many children attempt the task of climbing up the inside of a door frame by placing one foot on either side at the base and gradually shuffling up until they reach the top. House Gymnastics starts with this basic idea and goes further. Much further.
House Gymnastics was created and developed by two men taking the names Harrison and Ford. The legend has it that they came up with the idea after a thwarted attempt to put up a window blind. An hour or two of sweating and swearing in a
cramped space, drilling holes whilst deciphering instructions, and a legendary strange game is born. In its purest form House Gymnastics is that perfect combination of yoga, gymnastics and art.
Harrison and Ford have developed a wonderful array of positions that can be achieved throughout the house using only the human body and the house fittings and fixtures. The previously mentioned ‘door wedge’ is present and correct, as is ‘the banister snake’, which involves bracing yourself horizontally along an upstairs banister rail, and ‘the ceiling stand’, a handstand on the banister with the feet braced against the ceiling. All manner of squeezing, bracing and balancing of the human form within a house can be seen on their website (see Internet Resources) and they have been given great names such as the Elevated Carpet Crab, the One-handed Starfish and the Backdoor Bat Hang, with each position given a difficulty rating.
The ultimate indoor gymnastics position is known as the XXX (after the Vin Diesel film). To do it you need two adjacent walls that are the same distance apart as your own height when your arms are held above your head. A corridor is often an ideal location. Next, you need to climb slowly with your feet on one wall and your hands against the other, so that you end up perfectly horizontal, outstretched, spanning the corridor but with your back as near the ceiling as possible.
The positions should be held for at least three seconds, but obviously you gain more kudos if you can remain wedged on the top shelf of a bookcase for longer. Moves and positions can also be taken out of the confines of the house and have been performed in the office, sports stadia and the great outdoors.
Indoor Games with Biscuits
Malteser Blow Football is the perfect game for football-fixated chocoholics.
Make two teams of two players each. One player from each team makes the goal by kneeling down on opposite sides of a small table so that their bottom lips are at table level; they now open their mouths as wide as possible. Their teammates stand on the other side and compete, using straws to blow a Malteser into their goal while defending the other.
Biscuit Dunking is a subject that causes much debate amongst biscuit connoisseurs; such as whether a biscuit should be dunked in a cup of tea and, if it should, which varieties are able to withstand the process best without disintegrating.
There is no authoritative biscuit-dunking body; to hold your own competition you just need each player to pick their biscuit of choice and stand by a steaming hot cup of tea. All players now simultaneously repeatedly dunk, making sure at least half of the biscuit is submerged each time. The last biscuit to show any damage wins. The radio station XFM held a World Championship Biscuit Dunking Competition in September 2007 over a three-week period. The biscuits making the final were the Caramel Wafer, Fig Roll, Digestive Caramel and the winner, the hardy Pink Wafer.
Biscuit Bobbing is a party game that is less healthy than its apple-based cousin but just as much fun and, if anything, more difficult. Place some biscuits (digestives work well) flat down on a table and then players must try to eat a whole biscuit in the fastest time without using their hands in any way. The difficulty lies in getting hold of the biscuit in the first place—a feat usually achieved by lifting it with the teeth. The game is improved immeasurably if everyone plays at once, leading to a chaotic biscuit scrum. More advanced players could try playing the game with something thinner, such as an oatcake.
Crazy Stair Climbing
Crazy Stair Climbing is the perfect name for what appears to be a more mobile branch of House Gymnastics. All that is required is a narrow stairwell with strong banister rails on each side and some imagination. A variety of methods can be used to traverse either up or down the stairs, but at no time must your feet touch the ground.
The basic Crab method involves holding onto the banister rail with both hands, placing your feet against the wall below, then ‘walking’ in a hand-over-hand style down the stairs, keeping toes off the ground at all times. With one player on each rail, this makes for a grand race.
For single players, the Crab Straddle involves placing a foot on top of each rail and then, by stretching forwards, placing your hands on the rails too. In this straddle position you now have to shuffle upwards to get to the top of the stairs as quickly as possible. Once mastered, the next step (sic) is the Downhill Crab Straddle. Something only for the bravest stair climbers, this is exactly the same but involves moving head first down the stairs.
Airplanes
Airplanes (1) is a trick game that can probably only be played once, unless you keep participants out of the room until it is their turn. Two strong players are required to hold a plank of wood at hip height a few feet above the floor. The partygoer who is playing the pilot is shown the plank then blindfolded and helped onto it. They stand there and support themselves by placing their hands on the shoulders of the two carriers, who then proceed to walk the plank around the room. These carriers then carefully kneel down so that the plank is as close to the floor as possible. To the partygoer, whose hands remain on their shoulders, it appears if anything that they are lifting him higher above the floor. The carriers then announce that the plane is about to crash and the pilot needs to parachute to safety. What feels to the blindfolded pilot to be a metre or so is merely a matter of centimetres. Will they dare to jump?
Airplanes (2) is an Inuit game of strength. In teams of four players, one forms the airplane by lying face down on the floor with their feet together and arms outstretched. The other three teammates now pick up this player, one holding his ankles, the others holding a forearm each. The airplane player must now keep their body totally rigid for as long as possible whilst teammates ‘fly’ them across the room. The team that achieves the greatest distance, before the airplane gives up and begs their teammates to stop, wins.
Firing Squad
You can’t beat the addition of a lighted candle to a game to bring that extra element of danger.
Firing Squad is for two or more players at a time. Players fix a candle to the top of a cycle helmet using molten wax, then strap the helmets to their heads. The candles are now lit. Each player is given a fully loaded water pistol and their aim is to extinguish the other’s flame in the quickest time possible. The last person to retain a lit candle is the winner. Players can move about to avoid incoming water, although they must do so cautiously as this increases the risk of the candle going out through their own movements.
For even