Montegue Blister’s Strange Games: and other odd things to do with your time. Alan Down
edge to the game, use larger dried fruit such as apricots, and stuff one of these with a lucky sixpence.
Shoeing the Wild Mare
Shoeing the Wild Mare is a traditional and totally mad Christmas game that goes back to at least the early seventeenth century.
To play, get a strong wooden beam, a few centimetres wide, and suspend it from the roof by two ropes of even length. The beam is the ‘mare’ of the title and should be level, yet high enough above the floor so that the players’ feet are off the ground. A player, ‘the farrier’, then sits on the ‘mare’ in the centre, a leg on either side. This player has a hammer and has to give the underside of the beam ‘four time eight blows’ at a designated spot. If they fall off, it is someone else’s turn.
Much hilarity, and the odd broken shoulder ensues.
Shoeing the Mare appears in its own nursery rhyme, Shoeing:
Shoe the colt,
Shoe the colt,
Shoe the wild mare;
Here a nail,
There a nail,
Yet she goes bare.
Balance, Burn and Splash
Balance, Burn and Splash is a medieval game that is a combination of Snapdragons and Shoeing the Wild Mare. It is hardly an overstatement to say that this game is due a revival, as it probably hasn’t been played in the last five hundred years.
To play, simply place a narrow plank on two trestles. In the centre, underneath the plank, position a large tub or pool full of water. At one end of the plank place a lighted candle. Players must now balance themselves in the middle of the plank, above the water, holding an unlit candle, and must try to light it by stretching and shuffling towards the lit one, then return to their starting position whilst keeping their candle burning. Any player who puts a foot down or falls into the tub is out and it is the next player’s turn.
Ah, the great outdoors: fresh air, unspoilt countryside, amazing views, flicking sponges of beer into people’s faces…Yes, the outdoors has it all, and included here are some of the most unusual games you can play in the open air.
Three Three-legged Games
Nothing beats that slightly helpless feeling you get when you have your leg tied tightly to a partner’s. For an adult Three-legged Butterfly Hunting is one of the quickest ways to feel like a child again, and the easiest route to spraining an ankle and a drive to casualty.
In Three-legged Butterfly Hunting players are paired up, legs are tied and then each team is given one butterfly net between them. The aim is that, by working together as a team, you catch a member of the order Lepidoptera (a butterfly). The last team to catch one, loses.
This is a delightful summer-garden party game for adults to play, especially if they have had a couple of glasses of Pimm’s beforehand. The sight of two people tumbling helplessly into a buddleia bush is one to be treasured.
Although frisbee golf is considered a serious sport in some parts of the world, Three-legged Frisbee Golf is superior in almost every way.
For teams of two players, tie together the legs of playing pairs and give them a frisbee. On a starting command, all teams set off by throwing their frisbee, chasing after it as quickly as possible, picking it up and then throwing it again. The first team to get their frisbee to the ‘hole’ (a pre-determined object as far away as you like), wins.
A useful variation is Zombie Three-legged Frisbee Golf. After the starting throw, a team can either carry on trying to finish quickly or aim their frisbee at a competing couple. If they score a hit, that couple falls over ‘dead’. This adds a further competitive and chance element to an already great game.
Three-legged Monster Chase is a game that requires large groups of people. Pairs are formed and have their legs bound together as usual. Each pair is then given a sheet of coloured stickers—a different colour for each team. On a starting command, the players set off, their objective being to place their stickers on the backs of their competitors and avoid being ‘stickered’ themselves. After a set time of pandemonium, play stops and the team that have been stickered the least, wins.
One-legged Tug-of-War and Other Odd-legged Games
The ability to balance perfectly on one leg is a skill perfected in the animal kingdom by the flamingo, but fortunately it is one that humans have never really had to master—unless, of course, you want to excel at the games below.
One-legged Tug-of-War is played in the same way as the standard version of Tug-of-War. A rope and two equal teams of similar-sized players are all that are required. At the start of the game all players lift one leg off the ground and start to pull. The skill of hopping and pulling a rope at the same time is one that not many people naturally possess—as you will soon discover if you play.
Any person putting a foot down is eliminated from that team. Play continues until victory is achieved or there is only one man still standing.
Cock Fighting is a quite violent game for two or more players. Here, players must hop around with arms crossed in a loose simulation of a cockerel. The aim of the game is to knock into your opponents or otherwise put them off so that they place their other leg down. Any player that puts down a leg is instantly out. The game can have a tendency to get quite rough, but is often won by the person skilled in making quick one-legged changes of directions that cause an attacker to go flying past and crash to the floor.
The game of Dodgems, a more brutal version of Cock Fighting, is a little like competitive pogo dancing, but it is one that was played long before Sid Vicious gave his dance to the world.
For as large a group of players as possible, all players fold their arms but stand on two feet. However, both legs must stay pressed together throughout the game. Players can then use any means left open to them to knock other players over. If you are knocked over or you unfold your arms, you withdraw from the game.
For more one-legged fun, try the elemental, childish fun that is a Dizzy Hopping Race. All competitors spin around a set number of times, sufficient to make them dizzy, then balance on one leg and hop as quickly as possible to the finishing line. This is an especially good game to play in an enclosed space, an ideal location being a corridor.
Wheelbarrow Games
In Human Wheelbarrow Racing one player walks on their hands whilst a teammate grabs hold of their ankles and pushes them along. It used to be a ubiquitous event at every school sports day, but now, due to health and safety harridans and concerns about offending any obscure wheelbarrow-worshipping religions, it is almost a thing of the past. All that is needed to rejuvenate the marvellous world of wheelbarrow racing is a makeover, and some new variations.
Blindfolded Wheelbarrow Racing is a chaotic version of the classic race, working well with as many competitors as possible. Pair up the players—one barrow and one pusher—then blindfold the pusher. Once the race is underway, it is the wheelbarrow’s job to shout out directions to their handler, often in a panicked voice, so that they can avoid clashing with other racers and get to the finishing line first.
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