Nchọpụta Crazy. Onye na-achọpụta ihe ọchị. StaVl Zosimov Premudroslovsky
ya. Na nkenke, kedu ihe ike na-agwụ m ugbu a?
– Ee e, mgbe m biri ebe a ruo mgbe ikpeazụ m jere ozi, ndị uwe ojii mpaghara ahụ gbanwere dị ka uwe.
– Ma kedu ihe kpatara ya?
– Ihe kpatara ya dị iche iche: ha na-a drinkingụ nnukwu mmanya, wee zuru zuru ezu.
– Ezie, ọ naghị eyi m egwu. Edegoro m n’etiti ndị isi m dịka onye anaghị a nonụ mmanya na onye na-ere ahịa. Gwa m ihe, enwere m ike ịrụcha ụlọ ọba tupu oge mgbụsị akwụkwọ?
Agadi nwoke ahụ nyochara ụlọ ahụ, nke bụ ọkara nke brik. Mkpọrọ ndị mebiri emebi na mgbidi ahụ bụ nke a kpụrụ akpụ: ma ọ bụrụ na igwe rere ure na-eme mkpọtụ, ma na-emecha ụlọ, mgbe ahụ.
– You nwere ike. Naanị ihe a chọrọ iji dochie anya ya. Eeh, ogidi gi agazizi emebi.
– Ma afọ ole ha dị?
– Ohhh! Onye isi, ee, enwere m ike icheta, ụlọ a guzoro. Ebe a bụbu ogige nke ụfọdụ onye ahịa. Ha na-ekwu na n’oge mgbanwe, ha na-enweta efe efe site n’aka nnụnụ na-acha ọbara ọbara, ebe ha na ezinụlọ ahụ dum nọ ebe ahụ.
– Ebee?
– Kedu, ebee?
– Ọfọn, mere.
– Ewoo, yabụ, n’ọba n’ọba. Na mgbe ahụ ọ bụ ebe nkwakọba ihe, yana agha ahụ – ebe siri ike.
– Ihe ọchị. You nwere ike ịme ya? N’ezie, akwusila ya ruo na njedebe. Mills ka siri ike, ha bụkwa okwute. Naanị mechaa ha.
– N’ihi na nche dị mma agaghị arụ ọrụ. Ọzọkwa, ịchọrọ onye enyemaka na ọ bụghị otu, opekata mpe abụọ. Ma, n’ezie, ọ ga n’ihu, mgbe ahụ a ga-enwe agbamume.
– Ehee, a ga – enwe ezigbo elekere tupu oge eruo, mana anyị ga – ahụ. Ma a ga m akwụ ụgwọ ma ọ bụrụ na ọ kwesịrị ya. Dị ka – m ga-enye chervonets, mana ọ dịghị – onye ọka ikpe ga-enye chervonets. Anyị kwere. N’ulo nkuzi, m ga agwa gi Idot. Know mara nke a?
– N’ezie. Nke a bụ moron sitere na Kyzikhston. – agadi nwoke froze utoojoo.
– Ma gịnị?
– Ee, ọ bụ onye ọgwụ riri ahụ, aga m achọ iberibe. – agadi nwoke ji mkpịsị aka ya wee tụọ apụl nke Adam.
– Ma gị?
– M? Mebie ya, nke a bu isi nzuzu nke moron a.
– Gịnịkwa, ha na-ekwurịta okwu n’ezie? ọ dị mma n’ebe ọ nọ.
– Ee, o nyere ya ego ha ga enweta. Site n’ị drinkingụ mmanya, n’ezie.
– N'ụlọ ikpe, n’ezie, ịgaghị agba akaebe okwu ndị a megide Idot.
– You’re na – ejide m maka mmadu, onye isi. Abughi m anụ. Anọghị m na mpaghara ahụ ma agaghị m egwu ọkpọ gị. Oge ka mma karịa bọket a na-akwụghị ụgwọ.
– Wetuo obi. Nke a bụ m. Ọ bụrụ gịnị?!
– Aghọtara m, onye isi.
– Ma Baba Klava ga – enwe ike ịrụ ọrụ?
– N’ezie. N’agbanyeghị na ọ dị afọ iri isii na ise, ọ na-egwu ala dika ọkpụrụkpụ. Ma Idot?! A ga-enwe nsogbu.
– Ha agaghị. M ga-adọta ya.
– Na ego niile, otu?
– more karịa, mana mgbe ezigbo awa gasịrị.
– Ma ọ bụrụ na anyị mere, ma anyị agaghị arụ ọrụ ọma?
– Nweta m nti, ntaramahụhụ enyeghi. Ọtụtụ ọrụ.
– Ma gịnị ga-ewu?
– A ga-amụba ezị anụ ahụ. Achọrọ m ịnweta pigs. Ọ dị mma, yabụ, aka?
Agadi nwoke ahụ kụrụ afọ.
– Ọ dị mma, ọ bụrụ n’okpuru ọnọdụ ndị a, iberibe atọ.
– You bụ anọ, ma echefula banyere okwu ahụ.
Ọ kwara isi ya, na-atụgharị n’ọba, «ekwetaara m nke a.»
– Mgbe ahụ anyị kwenyere. You ga-akwụ ụgwọ. A ga m enye gị ego, mana ị chọkwara ya, ị bepu ya, Toad?
– Ooooh, m?! Aju ajụjụ, onye isi, ka anyị mee ya!! – Agadi nwoke ahụ kubiri ume ma suo siga ọzọ. – Ya mere, a dị m mma dịka onye isi?!
– O yiri ka.
– Ma mgbe ịmalite?
– Ma ugbua, a ga m agwa Arutun na Idota na nne nne Klavka wetara. Ma lee Idot.
– Cheta moron, ọ ga-apụta.
Idot pụtara n’ọnụ ụzọ.
– Ehee, kedu ihe ị wetara? – Bedbug chigharịkwuru Eyen.
– Na ego.
– Ego ole?
– Di na nwunye iberibe zuru ezu?
– Zuru, mana nke ahụ abụghị ihe niile. Will gha enyere onye ochie aka, ọ gha ịkọwara gị ihe niile.
– Ka nke a? Ọ dị mma, onye isi, ọ na-ehi ụra.
– aga m anyapu anya gi ugbua, za za baza, zoo? – ka Toad soro Pitchfork jee, ma ndi no na adighi anya, na Idot.
– Chere! – Enwetara m egbe ikuku nke Idot. – Ugbu a, m ga-agba àkwá ahụ.
– Ohhh? You ji egbe?
– Ihe niile bụ ihe iwu kwadoro, Isi. Nna nyere. Ebe a si ụdị ejula.
– Ọ bụ na ụjọ adịghị gị? Anyi ejide gi ebe a. Enwere m ike ịkpọ nna m? Ọ gaghị eme gị ihi ụra, mana ọ ga-enye gị ọkpọkọ, ị ga-echeta ya maka ndụ. Ma lee ebe i nwetara na Toad juputara n’olulu?
– Ee, onye obula na – ekwu okwu n’ime obodo.
– Kedu ihe ị na-ete, Kalbit ihu. Kedu ihe kpatara na ha anaghị ekwu piss n’anya m?
– Ya mere, wetuo obi ma rụọ ọrụ, ma ọ bụrụ na ịchọghị nsogbu… Ihe niile… Enweghị nsogbu! M kwuru: ị ga-arụ ọrụ na ebe, oge!!! – onye ọchịagha Klop Ottila Aligadzhievich na-eti mkpu n’okirikiri ahụ.
– So yazh mebiri? – Idot juru ya anya.
– Ọ dị mma. Ka anyị bido site na mbido: Kedu ụdị akpati?
– M. Nke ahụ bụ, nna nyere.
– Enwere ikike?
– E nwere.
– Lelee ya. Ma araghị gị ọnụ maka steeti a, yabụ, i goro onye ọkwọ ụgbọ ala ga-akọ ihe hemp a. Gị na ya rụkọọ ọrụ.
– Ma ebe a, Agaghị m. I gaghi egosi.
– Agaghị m egosi? Ugbu a, na ntanetị, aga m eziga ndekọ ahụ na youtube nke mkparịta ụka ụnyaahụ na papa agaghị enyere aka.
– Chervonets,