How to Behave and How to Amuse: A Handy Manual of Etiquette and Parlor Games. George H. Sandison
overlooked.
Eat peas with a dessert spoon, and curry also. Asparagus may be handled with the fingers of the left hand; also Saratoga potatoes and olives. Green corn should be cut from the cob and then eaten with a fork. Cheese is eaten with a fork, or is placed, with a knife, on bits of bread and carried to the mouth with the thumb and finger. Pies and pâtés, as a rule, are eaten with a fork only. Sometimes it may be necessary to use a knife to divide the crust.
How to Set the Dinner Table.
There is no pleasanter sight than an artistically set dinner table just before the guests are seated and the repast is served. To set it is, indeed, an art of itself. It should first be covered with a mat of double-faced cotton flannel wide enough to fall several inches below the edge, all around. This greatly improves the appearance of the table-cloth, which can be laid much more smoothly over this soft foundation. Small table mats for the purpose of protecting the cloth are not fashionable at present. The table-cloth should fall about half way to the floor all around. For a square or extra wide table a large floral centre-piece, either round or oblong, is usually chosen, with endless varieties in its component arrangement. It may be low and flat, like a floral mat, in the middle of the table, or may be lofty. Small fringed napkins of different colors are used with a dessert of fruits. Napkin rings are discarded by many hosts. Fancy doylies of fine linen embroidered with silk are sometimes brought in with the finger-bowls; but these are not for utility, the dinner napkin doing service, while the embroidered doyly adds a dainty bit of effect to the table decoration. Good quality of chinaware and artistic glassware are also essential. Any ostentation in the use of plated ware is vulgar. But one may take a pride and satisfaction in the possession of solid silver. Every ambitious house-keeper will devise ways of securing, little by little, if not all at once, a neat collection of solid spoons and forks.
After the floral decorations and possibly a centre-piece of pond lilies or other flowers have been put in place, with fruits and bonbons to balance the flowers, and here and there at convenient points cut glass decanters of fresh sparkling water, the next step is the laying of the covers. The courses in their order are soup, fish, entrees (served on hot plates), roast (which is carved at the side table), and game (if in season). The heavy courses end, the table is swept for crumbs and dessert is brought in. Finger-bowls and doylies are brought in on the dessert-plates. Each person at once removes the bowl and doyly to make ready for whatever is to be put on the plate. Strong coffee is served last of all, in small cups, fashion directing that café noir or black French coffee be used.
The Wine Question.
The wine question is one that disturbs many a dinner-giving family. Shall wine be served or not, is a growing problem. Society has at last reached the point where it is not considered a breach of good form to serve a dinner without wine. Such a course is sanctioned by the example of many high social leaders; and when it is the result of a temperance principle it has the respect of every diner-out. No lady or gentleman will find fault with the absence of wine at his host’s table. It is good form for a host to serve or not serve wine, just as he chooses. Apollinaris can be made to take the place of stronger waters, and no embarrassment follow. The hostess who simply does not offer wine to any guest under any circumstances, is using her influence effectively and courageously in the cause of temperance and in support of Christian principles.
Notes for Diners.
At a dinner served in courses, it is better, as a rule, not to take a second supply of anything. It might delay the dinner.
Bread should be broken, not cut in small pieces. To butter a large piece of bread and then bite it, as children do, is something the well-bred never do.
In eating game or poultry do not touch the bones with your fingers.
Never gesticulate with your knife or fork in your hand, nor hold them pointing upward, keep them down on your plate.
A gentleman wears a dress suit at dinner. A lady wears a handsome gown, “dinner dress” being “full dress;” differing, however, from the evening party or reception gown in the kind of fabrics used.
Gloves are removed by both ladies and gentlemen, after being seated at the table, and they need not be replaced again during the evening.
Never load up your fork with food until you are ready to convey it to your mouth.
Never send your knife and fork, or either of them, on your plate when you send for a second supply. Do not hold them meanwhile in your hand, but lay them down, with something under them—a piece of bread, for example—to protect the table-cloth.
Don’t use a steel knife to cut fruit if there is a silver one.
Don’t hold your elbows out; keep them close to your sides.
When you eat fruit that has a pit or a skin that is not to be swallowed, the pit and skin must be removed from the mouth with the fingers of the left hand, or with a spoon or fork in the right.
Tea, coffee, chocolate, etc., are drunk from the cup and never from the saucer. Never blow your tea or coffee; wait till it cools.
Don’t tip your chair, nor lounge back in it, nor hitch up your sleeves, nor call “Waiter!” nor try to talk with a full mouth, nor masticate so loudly that others can hear you, nor lay bones or bits of fruit on the table-cloth, nor pick your teeth at table. If you must do the last-mentioned, do it unobserved, if possible. Should you unfortunately overturn or break anything, make no apology, but let your regret appear in your face. Never fold your napkin where you are invited for one meal only, but lay it loosely on the table. When the ladies withdraw from the table, the gentlemen rise. Remain in the drawing-room at least half an hour after dinner before bidding host and hostess good-by.
Breakfasts, Luncheons, Teas and Suppers.
These, and all similar entertainments of the “At Home” order, are much less formal than the dinner event. The breakfast invitation should read in the customary form, and at the right hand lower corner the words:
“Breakfast at ten o’clock,
March 15.”
This breakfast should not be elaborate, but dainty in its food and appointments. The best of everything, prepared in the choicest of styles, but nothing heavy, nor excessive in quantity, should be prepared. Walking costumes are worn by both gentlemen and ladies, also visiting-gloves, which are removed at table. The descent from the dressing-room and greetings between the hostess and guest are just the same as at a dinner-party.
Suppers are usually gentlemen parties; and from nine to ten o’clock is the usual time for them to be served. There are game suppers, fish suppers, and several other kinds of suppers, each one of which differs in the appropriate supplies for the table. But the formalities of the occasion, or, rather, the informalities, are all of the same kind. The invitations may be made at interviews, by friendly notes, or by the host’s visiting-card, with this, written upon it:
SUPPER AT TEN O’CLOCK,
Thursday, September 16.
If it is a fish supper, only little food except that which once lived in the water is provided; salads and fruits, without a sweet dessert, complete it, with the addition of coffee.
It was surely a gracious social benefactor who introduced the afternoon