My city 2: The terrifying history Zhalovskoy, or the Spider. Dmitry Guéorguiévitch Borrony
to bypass it, but who knows where to go and whether in general there is a transition? However, all this is known by you and without me. – it continued. – You look at other coast of a ravine, this bottomless abyss, the person at last realizes that here now, at this moment he should make a choice. It has to turn and come back to an initial point, there, from where everything began or to risk and jump on other coast of this ravine, there, where life is better, than here. – he made a long long pause, and with regret told. – Unfortunately I could not jump on other coast of this ravine, I was afraid, and here result. – It having again made a long pause, added. – My Veronika dies.
Nina listened carefully to the stranger. He opened before it the soul, confessed before the unfamiliar woman as people familiar to it just did not want to listen to it. To listen to the friend's confession, they refused. However, me to judge them. People could never understand, the grief of one person, pok0a the same grief will not be knocked at their door.
Nina asked.
– Did not you jump over this ravine?
That hard answered.
– Could not.
Without knowing how farther to be, whether to continue this conversation or not? Nina saw that this person regrets for something. The ravine is a metaphor which always does not foretell anything good. Each person something is afraid in the life. The fear is an integral part of human nature, its psychology. Nobody knows from where the fear undertakes? What is it? Peculiar protection of a human brain? The brain giving us adrenaline of adventures and the blocked subconscious fear, sense of danger? What eventually results in euphoria, without obsessed thirst of danger. So far the brain does not realize that this euphoria will result the person, and him in madness to self-damage, and at the very same time it issues information, sense of danger, and developing from it into sensation of fear. The person wants to make, this or that, and something disturbs him. He wants to look back, look what is there, behind his back? What frightens him so strongly that he cannot even move? He wants to turn back, but cannot. Cannot because something frightens him, something frightens him? Does not allow to look back. On his body the midges run. The body for a second clenches, and heart fades. The person costs as driven. Something keeps him from this or any other action. He costs as driven, cannot move. Then, at some point, the fear leaves, but parcels to it remain. This as the alarm button if to include it, then everything simply saving the lives to rush on the street. Creating panic, предвещающею fear and madness. Then the person to become such what he got used to feel, and the button of fear passes in sleeping the mode. Creating the person a contradiction, to do something or not.
Nina told.
– No, this not fear! – then she added. – You still are worth on break it of a ravine, and think, to jump to you there, on other coast or to remain on it? – she made a pause, then added. – Your wife risked and jumped on other coast of a ravine. Yes, she is sick, but she to be drilled with a disease does not lower the hands. She lives. – then she reproached the stranger. – You only are also capable of tears. To be cried in someone's skirt!? You look, and it will become easier, will pass. No. – it continued. – It will never pass. With it you will live to the death, and if God grant she dies, you it never forgive yourself. You will blame yourself for the fact that these last minutes you were not with it. Turned away from it, so to speak. – it finished.
Having listened to her, the man thought. It never before was in such situation. For all years carried out with Veronika, it never was so close and in too time is far from the truth. Really, he as if stood on the edge of this ravine, and could not jump through it, on other coast. Some invisible fetters tied his hands and legs. All of us consider that freight of our sins are the our chains which are holding down us from head to foot. But it so. These chains only lie heavily upon us, and they can easily be dumped. And having dumped them, we understand that they actually were not. We just invented them.
Simplification! End of sufferings and misfortunes. As it is fine when freight about heart falls down. Simplification. Pacification and relaxation of all organism. Euphoria of happiness, and joy because that freight about heart is removed. Freedom! True happiness of the person and all mankind to be free.
The man recovered, and immediately exclaimed.
– VERONIKA! – then it, having looked at Nina, told. – You are right! Ah as you are right! I never thought of what in this life is valuable. I thought that it is only money! But I was mistaken. This not only money? Whether and money they in general what can be given us in this life of valuable? I never thought of it. Now I know that the most valuable was near always. With me. And this my family, my wife, my children. – here he made a pause, and told. – Children. – he pronounced this word with grief. As though he reproached them with something. – What for vyrotok did I generate with Veronika? Only one word. – here he grinned. – Children? They became anyone, only not members society. One of them went to crime, the code-bound criminal now. The second became an addict, and cannot come off a needle in any way. And I spoke to him, it is worth going on friends, they bad also will teach. And my daughter, what whore light did not see before! Whatever you may say, family!?
Nina having listened to the stranger asked.
– Tell, you do not consider that your wife has cancer because you refused the children? What children would not be, they always remain children for parents. Let them be bastards and swine, all of them are equally in your children. – she made a pause, heaved a deep sigh. – Unfortunately you are right in one. – she told. – Our children forget that we at them are. – then she added. – Unfortunately it occurs quite often. – she agreed with the man. – Children are forget about the parents, and happens. – she objected herself. – Children to care for the parents, cherish them, speak, MOTHER, MUMMY!
The stranger, having heaved a deep sigh, answered.
– It is a pity that sometimes this care, depends on a material condition of the parent. The more the state, the is stronger love.
Nina agreed.
– Unfortunately you are right. – then it told. – But I believe that there are children loving the parents disinterestedly. Without demanding anything in exchange.
The stranger it is heavy sighed.
– That is blessed at whom such sons and daughters. In the life I such did not meet. From parents something is necessary to all, and it is the fact. Idiom human existence.
Having looked at Nin on the stranger, asked.
– What did you decide about Veronika?
The man for a second having thought, told.
– What can I solve? – he made a pause. – Of course I will go to it to states. I do not want that these days, difficult for both of us, Veronika carried out alone.
The electric train left on the Savelovsky direction. She went further, to the Savelovsky station, and from there straight without any stops to the Belarusian station, one of legends of Moscow. Moscow of times of the Second World War. But we will talk about it in the following chapters of this history. And now we will return to the stranger and Nina.
Nina said in low tones.
– You fly to the wife, you fly to Veronika. She waits for you.
– I and will make. – the stranger answered. – Now I will reach to the Belarusian station and I will go back, I will buy the ticket, and I will fly to it.
Nina asked.
– And you have a visa? Whether you know without passport and the visa abroad, will not let in Armerika.
The stranger answered.
– Is, at me is both. I am married to the foreigner. – he admitted. – I have a dual citizenship, and it has the same. So we can cross border when we want.
Having heard these words, Nina was surprised?
– And YOU DID NOT DEPART WITH the WIFE? – she was terrified. – What you for the person?
– What is. – that answered, and added. – There is no other.
– Fly